Life Is Just So Daily

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

No Hallo-weanie here!

So, Gage wanted a "suckie" after his nap. He got his pumpkin basket, ran into the kitchen & said, "trick-or-treat. want suckie." I, being delighted that he trick-or-treated me, rewarded him with a tootsie pop.
So...I then went into the living room. He stayed in the kitchen, and apparently offered Eddie a lick. Eddie is our 100+ pound dog. Well, FYI: Eddie likes tootsie pops. So, Eddie took the tootsie pop. Gage didn't get mad---he got even. He wrestled it back without a wimper or whine, and only when he saw that it was cracked, down to the tootsie center & covered in dog hair did he become upset. Eddie walked away licking his lips...he was a happy dog.

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What will today hold? Not sure yet. But, later, I believe we will take Baby Gage trick-or-treating. Not sure if he will like it this year or not.

1st Halloween: Bumble Bee Costume, he was 5 weeks old. He did not care about Halloween.

2nd Halloween: Zebra Costume, he was soooooo cute, but hated trick-or-treating.

3rd Halloween: Spider like costume. Will post more about his trick-or-treating behaviors later.

(that pic is from Sept when Gage was trying on his costume...)

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Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Dental Update...

well, i'm back from the dentist. not as bad as I thought. Must return on 11/20 though. Did you know that if you have a filling from when you were a kid, it could "leak"?
I didn't know that. How gross does that seem?

All dental stuff just seems gross.

On the bright side: I'm a good brusher, and a good flosser, according to the hygienist.

Tuesday Morning....'s Tuesday morning, and I haven't posted since...Saturday. So, out of the norm for me!

Saturday: Chuck & Michael's b-day celebration at my in-law's house.

Sunday: B-day party for my Papa. He turned 84. Gammy just recently turned 85. And, my Mema just turned 85 this year too.

Pics will be coming...sometime. But, on a brighter note, I got the bubble wrap & box to ship the digital camera into the warranty people. I just haven't put it all together & taken myself to the post office. Speaking of post office: I have all of the thank you notes done from Gage's party back in September....but I haven't mailed those yet either. I really need to go to the post office....

Today.....I go to the dentist.
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Wish me luck.
seriously.....i wouldn't say that I've "neglected" my teeth, but I haven't gotten my cleanings every 6 months, and for some reason---since my mom no longer works at the dentist office, I have this anxiety about going in. I grew up going to my mom's office all the time. So, going there as a patient was no big deal. But now, going as a patient to a different just makes me anxious. I don't like it.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Ding Dong Sing Song.

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"Better on ONE?"
"Better on TWO?"
"Better on ONE?"
"Better on TWO?"

What is it about optometrists & that sing-song "better on one? better on two?" bit? Seriously. When they were in one of their many eye classes, do they have a special voice training section where they all practice talking like robots?

The voice was starting to creep me out this morning at the eye doctor, so I found that you can break the vicious cycle by cussing at the optometrist & telling him, "they both look like shit." That really breaks their concentration, and all of the sudden, the man who entered the room was back. He'd been temporarily snatched by the robot sing-song voice man, but suddenly he was back.
Oh, and another thing that bothers me at the eye dr: the letters. Guess what, I read the line perfectly with my right eye. Cover that one up & ask me to read w/ my left? Well, the letters are blurry as hell, but since I have the ability to recall a 4-letter sequence that I just said aloud about 1/2 a second ago, I knew that the letters were still ENVP. So....I tell him that. To F*ck with me, he switches it up & throws something in there that isn't a letter at all. It was a square. WTF? I kept telling him that it was either an "O", or a "D" or a ZERO...or, maybe even a "G". Nope. It was a square.
Hey....I never claimed to be smarter than a 5th grader.

Anywhoooo....had my eye exam this morning.
Got the Rx for contacts & glasses.
I wear my contacts....about once every 2 weeks. I mainly wear glasses. Went to the glasses place to get some new frames. There were about 3-4 customers per I looked around a bit before leaving. Clearly, that's going to be a task for another day.

It's almost 1pm...Gage is down for a nap.


Friday, October 26, 2007

Minus 800 points.

So, my friend, Melissa, recently sent me an email forward about the Women's demerit system, where men are awarded points for saying the right things...and points are subtracted for saying or doing the wrong things.... Just kind of a little funny read... No biggie.

Well, last night, my husband said something that was wrong, but amusing. He loses 800 points.

ME: Hey, do you think you could do some dishes over the weekend? (noting that I had work & school on Thursdays, thus halting all housework at the Casa de Lainey-Paney).

HUBBY: What, are you not going to be here?

Yeah....MINUS 800 points.
Way to go, dingbat.


Thursday, October 25, 2007

Camera Woes....

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So...who here has missed the photos of my child?
Me. I have missed them.
That's because my digital camera FINALLY pooped out on me.
It was purchased in June of 2005. It has been used every single day (with the exception of maybe 30 days total) since I got it. Yes, I use the camera just about every single day.'s broken.
I got the paperwork about the 3 year warranty, hoping to never need it.
I contacted the company, Mack Cam,, to see about getting it repaired. HAS ANYONE DEALT WITH THEM BEFORE? I spoke w/ Little Miss Jersey Girl who truly acted like I was putting her out when I asked her to clarify: so, if my camera breaks, there is no way you will cover repairs at a local shop here in Texas? She told me no less than 3 times to review the information on the website.
Yes, thank you, I know that the website exists. I have it pulled up in front of me. I've read it, and I've called you, and now I have VERBALLY asked you a question, and your response in no way answers my question. So again, I ask you....

She won.
I lost.
I must mail the camera into this place in New Jersey for them to tell me what's wrong with it, if they can fix it, if the warranty covers the repairs, how long I can expect to be without it, etc. Oh, and I have to include a $10 check to cover postage when they send it BACK to me. What a freakin' ripoff.
On the other hand------if they can fix it & it's covered by the warranty, and they get it back to me in a timely manner....then life will be good again.

...and if not....guess I know what to request for my anniversary or Christmas (or...better yet, combine the two occasions & get one kick-ass camera!)

Wednesday, October 24, 2007


He has Roseola.

I knew it last night when the rash popped up on his belly, chest, and back. Poor buddy.

So...we had our 2 yr check up this morning. Roseola diagnosis confirmed. Not with a blood test or anything, but the symptoms are text book for the diagnosis & Dr.W said that he agreed that the rash looked like the roseola there you go.
He's 90% on his height, 60% on his weight for his age....but, he's "underweight" according to his height. I was told not to worry about it---and I'm not. He's a 2 year old, typically picky about food....but he eats what he wants & there. He hates the Pediasure, so I told the dr that I don't intend to keep offering him a Pediasure per day b/c the stuff is too expensive to watch him refuse it, and me pour it down the drain.

Got his flu shot today....they were out of the flu mist.

And...we're not due to return for 1 year...which is great. It gives me time to Pediatrician shop. But, I tell you---I hate office staff there, but then we go in, and Dr.W is so attentive, and good with Gage. The DOCTOR is not the problem---it's his freaking staff. Today was wonderful there, and just as it should be. But I just hate the office people. So...shall I write a letter? Are my expectations just too high? I don't know. I requested two copies of Gage's immunization records prior to leaving. But, how do I pediatrician shop when my kiddo is not due to be seen for a year? [feel free to leave advice on this one....]

Anyway....I also brought up the fact that someone recently mentioned that he has some autistic-like behaviors & we discussed this. In my heart I don't believe my child is autistic. I think his fits are triggered by strong emotions & frustrations that he can't always adequately express himself, or even worse: he can express his wants, but he loses the battle of will when he has to do things he does not want to do. I also think that he's in that phase of being shy....sometimes. For example: while at Mema's house, he was playing & doing beautifully with Nora & other children. Take him to the play area at the mall, and he will NOT interact with the other children. I have to get down there & play with him. At his birthday party, he was super clingy but played with Mario, Allen, Trystan, & Garrett very well. Other kids....not so much. But...he DOES interact with others.

Anyway....we just discussed it because it was recently brought up. Something was mentioned about Jenny McCarthy & her son, and all the media coverage, etc. The pediatrician said something to the effect of: "oh, well, isn't she an authority? She put herself on the map by taking her clothes off...then she got pregnant, but millions of other women do that. Then she has an autistic child, but there are millions of other women that have done that before her. The only good thing about her is that she is raising awareness. It still doesn't make her an expert."
Oh, it was classic.

...anywho. We're home now. We stopped at the store on the way home & got 2 "donts" (that's the way Gage says 'donuts') & 4 "suckies". So far, he & I are both sticky, covered in orange tootsie-pop, and I am covered in his stickers from the dr's office. He preferred to decorate Mommy instead of wearing the stickers himself.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Movie Review...

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Gage LOVED this movie!
It's a modern day Little-Red-Riding-Hood Tale.


For Alissa...

Alissa asked to see pics from our maternity session....way back when....Summer 2005, when I was 25 weeks pregnant with Gage....


Laine needs... others have done this...but I have not...yet.

This is how it works. Just google "[your name] needs" and copy a few that catch your eye into a post. Here’s what google thinks I need:

Laine needs: to be commended.

Laine needs: help.

Laine needs: clinical help. (hey, it's getting more specific, now isn't it....)

Laine needs: cheering up.

Laine needs: to dance & have fun. (this one is TRUE!)

Laine needs: to leave by 12:30 (dude, where am I going???)

...Kat did this & hers were kind of funny.
....mine are kind of....blah.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Monday Update...'s been a whirlwind.

For me, it was a pretty great day.
For my husband....not so much.
And really---I'm sure I'll pay the price for my pretty great day in some way....

How it all started:
Up at 5:15, per norm. Get ready while the hubby & the baby sleep.
6:15---I'm running late. Wake the hubby to wake & ready the baby.
6:30---out the door, late.
It's cold (in the 50's, it's raining, it's gross out.)
Drive to Rockwall to drop off Gage...making sure I have all of his meds. Temp check, and dosing instructions provided: if he has fever, shove one of these (finger pointing to Tylenol suppository) up his a$$. He'll hate it. And you have to hold his little butt cheeks together to make sure he doesn't push it back out.
[one of the fun things that they didn't mention in Baby Gage's owner & operator's manual]
anyway...hop back in the car to start my 1.5 hour commute to work. Take a different route b/c my normal path is blocked by a delay. The detour is longer, but quicker during rush hour delays....cell phone rings.
....and I heard it (for a change), so I felt compelled to answer. Hubby was stuck at home, and I had to return to the Casa de Lainey-Paney to give him a jump. Um, big dummy left the dome light in the Acura on, so the battery was completely dead. Jetted home, he got the cables hooked up. I was flustered, and clearly going to be late....and I already knew that I was probably going to have to leave early b/c of Gage's dr appointment (that saga will be discussed later), and anyway...I was in a foul foul foul mood. So, Hubby was flustered & feeding off my frustration at the situation, hooked the jumper cables up wrong, and things went downhill from there. Let's just say, "KIDS, DON'T try this at home!" All in all---it was just easier to call in for the day, take the hubby to work, and stay home to sort things out.

So, that's what I did.

Waited for pedi office to open. Called them. Hospital d/c instructions indicated that Gage needed to be seen by his pediatrician today. At the time that I called to discuss this medical f/u, Gage's temp had come down, and he was acting normal--like he felt better. So I call. And the dr doesn't have a f/u appointment until Friday. Now, the receptionist told me this before I even got to say all that I wanted to say. What I wanted to say:"...Gage's fever is down now. And, we have his regular 2 year check up on Wednesday, so why don't we just do everything on Wednesday? OR---do we really need to be seen today, as per the d/c instructions?" But---no, she cut me off after I said, "the d/c instructions from the hospital say that he needs to be seen by Dr.W today, and..." She quickly told me that his next available appointment is on Friday, and that this week is really busy there, and that they could not possibly work him in any sooner.

*******Who here remembers some of my recent rants about this pediatrician's office? Seems to me, they only want to see WELL kids. You're totally F*CKED if your kids get sick. Remember when he had hives, and they told me not to bring him in b/c it might be chicken pox, and now, my kid goes to the hospital, & the hospital says that he should be seen in the office today----but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, you can't make room for a SICK kid until Friday. That's bullsh*t. I swear, after this visit on Wednesday, we're going pediatrician shopping. Seriously----I understand setting check ups in advance---I do. But, you HAVE to build in time for your sick patients when you do your scheduling. You just have to. And now, really---was it THAT necessary for Gage to be seen today? No. I was even going to say that. But what if I really felt that it WAS that important? I wanted that open to for him if his condition hadn't improved. So anyway...they suck.

Enough about them...back to my day:
So......Gage was taken care of.
Hubby was at work.
And me? I cleaned. I laundered. I rinsed, lathered & re-rinsed. I swept. I cleaned out the vacuum & all of it's bag less parts. I recycled & trashed. I folded laundry & watched all the shows I Tivo'd but have not had time to watch. I got to fast forward through commercials & pause whenever I had a random wave of housework ADD. Ahhhhhhhhhh....I lit candles in almost every room. I had a blast.
Home. Alone. Housework.
Beautifully uninterrupted housework.'s poker night for the hubby. We borrowed the in law's jumper cables when we went & picked Gage up from Memaw's....Acura battery is fine. Just needed a proper jump. Hubby's been out playing poker. Gage & I have had a wonderful night at home. He's in bed now...and I'm not entirely sure yet what tomorrow will hold.


Sunday, October 21, 2007

Weekend Update...

We're home now, but Baby Gage was sick over the weekend.
He started with fever on Friday. Up to 103.F
Restless, clingy, fussy....
Went to bed Friday night between 8:30 & 9.
Up again around 12 or 1.
Up watching a movie with Daddy until about 3.
Slept until Saturday morning around 10.
Fever steady at 103.8, not responding to Ibuprofen & Tylenol...
Cool Bath & Tylenol, and it got down to 103 again.

Spoke w/ Pedi office on Friday & they said that we should alternate Tylenol & Ibuprofen, and let them know if he was still feverish on Monday.
But----hanging out at 103 w/ meds on board? We called again on Saturday, and they told us to take him to Children's. So we did.

Nothing like that place to put things into perspective.
Our child was sick, and yes, he was there too.
But to see the other just made me so thankful that Gage was just there for a fever, you know?

Susan & David were nearby when I called her to ask her what exit to take to get there...I mean, I know it's off 35, and I'm sure I could have figured it out...but since she knows that place like the back of her hand, I figured she'd be the quickest one to answer my questions. Anyway....she & David were shopping at Northpark, (where she ran into Megan, b/c it's just a small world like that), and after shopping they came over to the hospital to hang out with us. I know, because I talked to her later, that she doesn't feel like she made any grand gesture. But, the time that they were there with us just keeping us company made that time fly. It was nice to just chat & bitch with them! [so, Susan & David, thanks soooooo much!]

Gage was very restless at the hospital. He'd nap in our arms for about 15 minutes at the most. He wanted everything & nothing.

And after Susan & David left...then came his little IV & blood draws. OMG. It took 4 adults to hold him down & get it done. Bless his heart. And our nurse, Erin, said, "Almost done" at one point. Gage just screammed over & over, "Don't like it! Don't like it!" & then, "Almost Done?" "Almost Done?" ....and then it was over. He had his little heplock & hand/forearm taped to a little immobilizing device so that he didn't yank it out. It was in his right hand, and he's right handed. He kept trying to pick up his bottle, but couldn't with his right hand. So.....we had some time to kill while waiting on his labwork, so we went back to the cafeteria (2nd trip....) & bought another banana for him. Finally, he ate 1.5 bananas & wanted to see the trains. We spent a great deal of time watching the trains. He was in little boy heaven!

He wanted to play on the playground....but no. I can't help it---I felt like the playground was covered in germs. Besides, it was dark by the time Gage ever saw the playground.

I tell you....being around the other very sick just makes you very thankful that we don't "live" there like some families....that Gage is healthy & we'll get over this illness relatively quickly compared to some of those children.

Anyway...Gage's blood cultures will be back later this week, but his CBC did not have elevated white counts. He's likely got a virus...and all we can do is treat the fever.

Easier said than done. Gage does NOT like taking his oral Tylenol or Ibuprofen, so we've had to resort to the suppository Tylenol [when he's older, I'm sure he'll be super thankful that I just posted THAT on the internet]. Appetite....fluctuates. He's still drinking (and @ Children's they checked his electrolytes---they are fine).

So far today....
Woke up at 8. And then he asked to go back to bed at 9:15. Slept until almost 1. Since then....we've watched "Haunted Mansion" with Eddie Murphy, part of "Hocus Pocus", and now we're watching "Corpse Bride". I got two pumpkins at the grocery store, & thought we could all carve them as a family. Gage likes to treat pumpkins like soccer balls & kicks them all about the living room. He wanted NO part of carving them. He thought the insides were "yucky"....and he moved on. Now they are carved & lit on the mantle. He loves to look at them. Also, while at the store, I found a matchbox school bus for him. He *LOVES* to see school busses in the mornings, so he was very pleased with that little treat when he woke up from his nap earlier.

Not sure what the night will bring later. Current axillary temp: 102.4 F. He's curled up to my right side & we're on the couch. He wants me to stop typing now...He just took my hands, and started rubbing his arms with my hand. He said, "Mommy pet you." Clearly, I've gotta go.


Friday, October 19, 2007

Mema's 85th Birthday!

So...a few weekends ago, Gage & I went to Corsicana on a Saturday for Aiden's b-day. Well, on Sunday, I returned (solo) to Corsicana for Mema's 85th Birthday.
Daddy was still under the weather, and Gage was pooped from Saturday, so I went all by myself. Which was GREAT!...and then lonely, even though I was surrounded by family. Mema made the comment that I seemed to be walking around looking for Gage. Apparently we go together like peas & carrots!

But, she had a LOVELY birthday!

Mema & Nora with Mema's beautiful zucchini cake, made by my Mamasita.

My Aunt Loraine, Me, and my Aunt Wanda (yes, I look like a total spazz in this photo...)

Great Aunt Wanda, Great Aunt Joyce, & Mema

Mema & her girls (minus Loraine, who had to leave early)

Back: Aunt Pat, Aunt Billie, Aunt Wanda
Seated: Mema, & my Mamasita

Mema & My Mom...

It was a good day.


Thursday, October 18, 2007


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Got my flu shot today.


Wednesday, October 17, 2007

A bit overdue... a few weekends ago, we went to Corsicana on Saturday for Baby Aiden's first birthday. Aiden is my....2nd cousin's son. So he's what? My 3rd cousin???

Anyway....Gage & I went down to celebrate!
Daddy didn't go b/c he was under the weather...

Gage swinging...

The Birthday boy with his Mommy & Daddy...

Me & Baby Gage...

Gage's little sweaty head...clearly, he was playing hard!

My mom, & Allen, & Nora, & Gage...

And...there were horses for the horse-back riding...
We pulled up to the party & were getting out of the car. Gage said, "Mommy, COWS!" I told him that they were horses, not cows. Gage said, "Horses eat you?" I assured him that horses will not eat us. What a city slicker I have....

Allen & Gage watching the horses...

And then ... Gage & I were going to have ourselves a horseback ride.
Um...again, I reiterate that my child is a 2 year old city slicker.

So, my child threw a fit on top of a horse, & needless to say, he did not go riding.

After the party...we went to Mema's house.
Everyone spends a little time looking at AAAALLL the photos Mema displays...

And Mema (Gage's great grandmother) held Gage up to show him the pictures on the upper shelves...

A large group of us....
From Left (Back Row): Me, Gage, Allen, Mema, Ty, Lane, Nora
From Left (Front Row): Andi, Paula that picture, Paula & I are Mema's grandkids. The rest are great grandkids, and Andi is Mema's great, great granddaughter.

It was getting late. Gage & Nora took a bath, and we got their jammies on. After that...Nora got into a box.

She's so tiny & dainty.

Gage & Nora hugged & kissed. It was sooooooooooo cute. Holly & I were pregnant with them at the same time, and they are a week...or two weeks apart. (I forget...)

And then we went home.
That was our Saturday for Aiden's birthday....


It was a long day, but tons of fun!


Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Homework, Dear Homework:

Please, do yourself.

Okay, I've been waiting on my paper to do itself...and since that hasn't happened...I've been working on it.

So, I've got 5 pages of text, one title page, and one references page.
I am finished w/ the intro & pro side (actually, I found more info in favor of this side than I originally thought I would find....).
I've started the "student perspective" section. I still need to do:
Con Side
Student Perspective (need to finish this area)
& Suggestions for legislative action.

...anyone have any suggestions for legislative action on this one???
(see previous posts if you have forgotten my topic!)

so far, I kind of feel like all the politicians need to stay the F*@# out of my uterus, and leave all decision making about my offspring up to me....but hey--that's just me.
Oh, and politicians: if you are thinking about camping out in my uterus---well, think again!


Monday, October 15, 2007

October 15th...

Today is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day.

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, as proclaimed by Former President Ronald Reagan in 1988. Officially recognized in the United States in 2006, October 15th of every year is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss and Remembrance Day, a special day to honor and acknowledge babies lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, prematurity complications, neonatal death, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome-SIDS, illness, accidents, and other tragic causes. Pink and Light Blue are the awareness colors.

It's not as if I need a day or a reason to miss Masyn.
Some days are... some days are the same. The same as they've been. A mom, a dad, a baby. And then some days...or at different times of any given day, I am very aware of the fact that I was supposed to be pregnant right now. I would be showing. I would be wearing maternity clothes, and tired, and moody...and that's just how it should be. I would know now if I was having a boy or a girl. I would be painting a nursery (okay...maybe not yet....but I would certainly be dreaming up the perfect nursery!) For those that know me---I'd be shopping. That is for sure. I would be trying out the perfect double strollers. There is so much that I would be doing.
There are times that I feel like a family member is missing, and yet, it's a family member that I never saw. I never saw my baby. My baby was so tiny when it died. Masyn never cried, or smiled...

Anyway.... It's October 15th. And, I'm missing my baby. My "what might have been" baby. I know that I'm not alone today...

I am wearing a pair of shoes.
They are ugly shoes.
Uncomfortable shoes.
I hate my shoes.
Each day I wear them, and each day I wish I had another pair.
Some days my shoes hurt so bad that I do not think I can take another step.
Yet, I continue to wear them.
I get funny looks wearing these shoes.
They are looks of sympathy.
I can tell in others eyes that they are glad they are my shoes and not theirs.
They never talk about my shoes.
To learn how awful my shoes are might make them uncomfortable.
To truly understand these shoes you must walk in them.
But, once you put them on, you can never take them off.
I now realize that I am not the only one who wears these shoes.
There are many pairs in this world.
Some woman are like me and ache daily as they try and walk in them.
Some have learned how to walk in them so they don't hurt quite as much.
Some have worn the shoes so long that days will go by before they think
about how much they hurt.
No woman deserves to wear these shoes.
Yet, because of these shoes I am a stronger woman.
These shoes have given me the strength to face anything.
They have made me who I am.
I will forever walk in the shoes of a woman who has lost a child.

Author unknown

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Sunday, October 14, 2007


Okay...Here's what I have done so far.
Title page - done.
Intro - done.
Pro side - mostly done.
Reference page - up to current.

I'm going to work until 7 something, or 8. I won't miss Desperate Housewives for this. Besides, given my proposed topic....I really think that the "con" perspective & my personal opinion section will go muuuuuuuuuuuch easier than the pro side & discussion of fetal rights.



Saturday, October 13, 2007


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So....after being up since 4:30 this morning...I went back to bed in the 10 o'clock hour. Got up around 1:30 or 2....& read some of my research material for my paper.

Recently (and for reference, it's about 5:30) I locked myself in my bedroom w/ my laptop, school bag, & formatting books (Thanks M'witty!). Damon told me, "once you go in there, don't come in & out" b/c he knew Gage would throw a fit. So...I've been in here for over an hour.

So far....I've got my title page, and an entire page full of "intro" paragraphs. And, I've started the reference page.
So, if I turned this paper in as is, I have failed to answer the question at all & failed to meet the length requirement. But hey---it's formatted correctly, has no spelling errors, and I raise some mighty controversial/ethical issues. That should count for something, right?

Oh---and just so we're all clear: it's been clarified for me. this paper counts as 30 points toward my final grade...not the 50 that I originally thought. That's our NEXT assignment that is worth 50% of the total.

Grad I done yet????????????

To turn this all around: I should quit complaining because I have the opportunity to get an advanced degree. Many people don't have the same opportunity, and certainly don't have the option to get their master's degree with their current employer reimbursing education expenses. I need to buckle down, do my work, and be appreciative of the blessings I have. Right?


6:41 AM, and all is NOT well.

It's 6:41 as I type this....on a Saturday morning.
All is not well at the Casa de Lainey-Paney.

Something was decided this week...without really any input from me. It was just...decided. My MIL, who I normally adore, love, & would be up a creek without....well, she watches Gage during the week while I work. She decided this week that hard spouted sippy cups are better than the soft spouted sippy cups, and therefore, he's going cold turkey on the soft spout, and she has "done away with" all the soft spouts.

I didn't really argue. I didn't say anything to her.

On one hand---I've never heard that the hard spouts are any better for kids.
And, her reasoning is that she thinks Gage's teeth are going to be misshapen.

Now----do I want my kid toting a sippy when he goes of to Kindergarten? No.
Do I think we need to wean him off the sippy entirely? Yes, at some point.
He just turned 2 freaking years old. I think he's a little young to be done w/ sippys (spout or straw sippers) entirely....

So....he's had a veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery rough transition


Okay, Gage just came to me & said, "want water." We went to the kitchen. He wanted it out of a regular plastic cup. No sippy to it. Maybe he's a bit more on board w/ this than I thought.

Okay...right or wrong, he gets a sippy of milk before bed. Don't judge me, mmm'kay?
That's just the way it is.

So, my question is: what is the damn difference if that sippy has a soft spout or a hard spout?
And-----maybe the goal should be that all day, he gets a regular cup, no sippy at all, and only gets the sippy before bed?
And yes-----we brush his teeth a bajillion times a day b/c he is obsessed with having it done. I have the random child that LOOOOOOOOVES for his teeth to be brushed.

WHAT THE HELL? Gage just poured his water out on me, and now he's freaking out because "it's gone, it's gone" you think he's grown up enough to understand about absorbency with various fabrics?

I'm so tired. I just want to sleep. We've been up since 4:30. That's when the fit started. At close to 5, he came to bed to snuggle with me. At 5:30 he wanted "Gage's bed go night-night", & then around 6 he was finally successful at convincing me that he didn't intend to return to sleep.

and, as we suspected....he's hungry. He's eaten a whole bowl of cheerios & now 1/2 a banana.

I'm just kind of frustrated..........and sleepy.


Friday, October 12, 2007


Today has been a good day.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Working on my paper...

So, I have a paper due soon...
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Here, I'll give you a topic:

When prenatal testing has diagnosed severe disabilities of an unborn child, should parents be asked to consider the cost to society for the care of the child, in making the decision to terminate the pregnancy?



Stupid Tire.

So....the new car is all-wheel-drive.
The new car had brand new tires that have only been driven on for a couple of weeks.
Flatten one tire, and you have to find the exact same brand, shape, size, exact, exact, exact tire----or you have to buy 4 new tires. Why? Because apparently on an all wheel drive car, they all have to match with the same everything & the same wear & tear.

In the past, I've heard of replacing two & then the other two. Or replacing them all at the same time.

So, fine. We'll just find the same kind of the ONE tire & be done with it. Besides, the warranty will pay to replace the tire., apparently my new car came with some special, super-obscure, I've-never-even-heard-of-'em kind of tires. None of the Discount Tires near us stock them, but would be happy to order one for us. Sam's Club doesn't have them. Walmart doesn't have them. Nobody has them.
We found them on the internet & you buy online....and pay for shipping.
I've been shocked at some of the shipping costs I've had to pay with online purchases, and I cannot imagine what the shipping charges are for a tire.
Old Navy's $5 shipping rocks. They need to sell clothes & tires.

Stupid Tires.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007


Remember how I just posted about my terrible day yesterday?
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You know what is worse than a screaming toddler in a grocery store?
Jetting about in your new car, on your way to do something unexpected & nice for someone, swerving to miss a squirrel, hitting a "big city t*tty" speed bump & busting out your tire....
As if that wasn't bad enough, it's about nine thousand degrees outside, and my car was filled with the sounds & echoes of a screaming toddler.


How many people do you think offered assistance? I can count the number of people on ZERO hands. ZERO people. And---if it weren't for the f*cking lug nuts, I wouldn't have needed any help.

So, my husband left work & came & changed my tire. I got the jack out, and the spare tire out...I did all that. I could NOT however loosen the lug nuts.

You know what brings out the worst in people? Flat tires. Flat tires bring out the worst in people.
Oh, and my husband has instructed me to mow down squirrels in the future rather than swerve to miss them.
I can't bring myself to do that. Sure, my day sucked....but at least the squirrel is still alive...probably nesting in someone's attic right now....chewing through their wiring. And it's okay. It was probably someone who saw me trying to change my tire on the side of the road alone & didn't offer to help.

Is it tomorrow yet??????????

LP & The terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

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So.........yesterday was a really bad mom day.

Seriously----remember way back when Gage was sick with a tummy bug & he puked on me & had diarrhea, and got dehydrated? I would trade yesterday for that day all over again.

Welcome to TWO. Temper Tantrum Two.
TWO= Toddler With Opinions. was filled with fit, after fit, after f*cking fit. Everything had to be a fight. His nap was 1/2 as long as he normally takes....and we ran out of milk. Word to the wise---when your child is 2, don't ever run out of milk.
So, that required a trip to the store. My child generally likes going to the store, and he seeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemed like he was actually going to be cheerful for a little bit. So, I decided to do the nice Mommy thing, and take him to Marble Slab for an ice cream before groceries.
Two year olds apparently like sprinkles. He requested them with his ice cream. So, he gets a scoop of ice cream with sprinkles on top. He then tells me that he "Ona no like it. Mommy wash da ice cream." Which means, he no longer wants the sprinkles, and I have to pick them out if I want him to eat the $3 scoop of ice cream. Finally, the child takes 3-4 bites, and he calls it "trash", and throws it away.
Good job Mommy: money well spent, and little did you know---you were burning precious daylight good mood time.

So, we go to the store. He picks a buggy that he wants: one w/ those little plastic cars in the front. He hops in, and we start shopping. Things took a small turn for the worse in the produce section when I wouldn't let him eat the bananas before we paid for them. The soup section was a bit challenging, but as a parent, you really pick your battles. As I was searching the shelves for things that we need---Gage got out of the grocery cart, and loaded us up with Campbell's condensed soups. He got a kick of the little rolly dispensers, and just plucked them one at a time, and CHUNKED them into the shopping cart, busting open a container of wet dog food. (but, that last detail I didn't even discover until I got home & had wet dog food gravy coating other groceries. GROSS!) I said, there you pick your battles. I looked at his selections---'eh, we'll use 'em...." So, we moved on---needed yogurts b/c Little Mister Get My Way really does like yogurt. You seriously can't turn your back for a second. He was again, out of the cart, grabbing yogurts, popping 'em open, and suckin' 'em down. This is where our shopping trip took a DRAMATIC NOSEDIVE, and he spun out into a fit that was loud & embarrassing, and it involved him blocking the entire path in front of the yogurt display because he was laying on the floor, and I was in a skirt trying as best I could to pick him up...he would wiggle this way & that, so FINALLY I was able to snatch him up, and give him the stern talking to.... Yeah, that sh*t doesn't really work with my child. So, I took away an option for him. I told him that he could not walk or ride in the car part of the shopping cart---he has to ride up at the front kid seat with me. So, that was a fight just getting him in there because as I am lifting him---he puts his feet on the steering handle part, and like locked his knees or something. I don't know what he did, but clearly it was a battle of wills. He was damn sure that he was going to win that battle. Well....I finally get him in the seat, and then came the
I was in the store maybe a total of 4 more minutes (not including check out...which is a whole different story) and he SCREAMED the whole time.
******On a side note: To all of you stay at home Moms who were there yesterday w/ your perfect little Stepford Kids, F*ck all of you. You know---a single kind word could have turned my day around. I got disapproving looks & eye rolls from all you. And from this point forward, every toast I drink to will include a secret little wish that all of your future offspring are TWICE as precocious as my child. B*tches.

Where was I? Oh---so we head to the checkout. I wait...and wait....while my checker, being the head-honcho that she is, sorts out the schedules of like 10 other checkers, who goes where, who is going to lunch when, and why Jasmine came in at 5, when on the schedule she was supposed to come in at 6, and what register will she be on? WTH? I want to see you multi-task. Get the hand a goin' & slide my sh*t across the scanner. Let's move it lady!

Gage is screaming & crying, "I want red."
Red what? His response: "Red Ebbberything." Great, he wants red everything. WTF does that mean? I'm looking around for red stuff at the checkout, and he wants NONE of it.

So, after learning that apparently there is a whole lot more to running the cashiers at the grocery store than I thought & racking my brain to buy Gage something red, it's finally my turn to be checked out. I hand the lady a yogurt that Gage opened & told her that he opened it. She looked at me(keep in mind, my kid is still SCREAMING) & said, "you're going to pay for this." It was not a question. She TOLD me that I was. Well, of course I was. That's why I brought it to the checkout to begin with. If I had no intention of paying for it---I'd have left the shit in the yogurt section.
But---whatever. So...she is checking me out---gets to the end, and I hand her my coupons. She rolls her eyes, scans my coupons, & gets to one---if you buy 10 of these things, then you get a free Triaminic cough syrup. I got the ten designated items, but forgot the cough syrup b/c that aisle comes after the yogurt aisle, and by then, my brain was fried. So, I aked her if I could just bring the receipt & the coupon back this week & get the syrup then. She told me to go get one right THEN off the shelf. Gage was screaming & crying & kicking so hard then, that he THREW UP. My hands are covered in vomit & I snapped back at that woman. "No. CLEARLY I'M HAVING A BAD DAY HERE. IT'S NOT WORTH IT TO ME. JUST FORGET IT & GIVE ME MY COUPON BACK." The register lady behind me handed me some sani-wipes to clean up the puke & my hands, and I just knew that any second now Gage would lose his voice from screaming & crying so hard & so long.

I pay for my goods, take them out to my car, and just bawled my eyes out as I loaded my groceries into my car. Gage then hopped up into the backseat, and refused to get into his car seat. So, I stood there. Crying. What was the hurry now? He was finally no longer crying, but suddenly I was. Feeling like a horrible mother who has NO IDEA how to manage her child. Looking at all of these ballerina-dressed-perfectly-behaved-little-good-girls & their moms. Feeling like all eyes were on me & how I was managing, or not-managing the situation. Finally, I told Gage, "I NO LONGER CARE WHAT YOU WANT, NOW YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT I WANT, & WHAT I WANT IS FOR YOU TO GET IN YOUR CARSEAT." I hoisted him in there, and strapped his little ass in. Pushed the cart out of my way (at this point, I didn't care about returning my cart to the proper cart return section), and I left. Crying.

From this point forward, if we just need Milk from the store, that's all we're getting.

So, on the drive home, Gage, who has finally stopped crying, says, "Mommy, look ah da trees. Mommy, Look! Look!" I look, and he says, "Da leeeeeeaves is faaaaaaaaaallling."
It was so cute. See, God does that. God makes them sooooo cute sometimes so we don't abandon them or wring their little necks.
At home, he found his foul mood again, but the fits were much shorter, and not nearly as big of a deal. We hid from Daddy before bath time. Daddy found us & Gage took a bath. He ate a banana for dinner (that's aaaaaaaaallllllllllll he would eat), we watched some TV, read about 5 books, and went to bed.

And is going to be a much better day. I can feel it.


Monday, October 08, 2007


I want this.


In my dream world: my house would clean itself. I could lay something down, and magically it would fly around the room & place itself where it is supposed to go. Papers would be organized the way they are supposed to be filed, and when I no longer needed them, they would disappear. Junk mail would recycle itself, and the trash would haul itself to the curb. I would not need a washing machine, b/c our clothes would magically clean themselves when we took them off, and on top of that--they'd hang themselves up or fold themselves.

In reality: this house will not ever be cleaned if LAINEY-PANEY doesn't clean it.

Welcome to my world.

It's Monday. I switched working today for working Wednesday, so I'm home today. I need to clean, clean, clean. No---really, I have a paper worth 50% of my grade due in 10 days. THAT is what I should be doing. Can we say, "procrastination"????

But, again---my house really does need a good cleaning. There's sh*t scattered from the front door to the back door.

Gage a MOOD today.

Over the weekend: went to Corsicana on Saturday for a birthday party. Came home. Went to Corsicana on Sunday for a different birthday party. Last night, came home.
Pics & details coming soon....but I have not uploaded the pics yet.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Let's Talk Halloween Decor...

Do you go all out & decorate your home for Halloween?

I just....don't.

I put up all kinds of decorations for Gage's birthday party, and I generally go all out for Christmas.

Last year....or the year before, i bought some Halloween lights to put up. Little ghosts or pumpkins or something. i haven't put them out yet....they are still in the box. So far this year, I haven't gotten any pumpkins to set out....

What about you guys?

I *DID* actually remember to bring my Halloween skirt w/ me today. It needs to be altered. I've worn it once before, on Gage's 1st Halloween. But, I didn't wear it last year. This year----I'm gettit it altered, and I'm going to wear it! It's looks like a spider web & has a spider on it. I just put it on while Gage goes trick or treating. (or that's what I did in the past....)

And....randomly---here's a Halloween pic for you!
Imagine going to THIS costume party!
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...but, I could not stand the blue I'm back to green.

Green is my favorite color.

Thursday, October 04, 2007


Today I wore a black turtle neck sleeveless sweater, and dangle earrings. The earrings kept catching on the neck of my sweater.
It was a beating all day.

...and my hair looks crazy, and I didn't care.

I'm tired.

Damon is sick.

I didn't go to school tonight b/c I needed to take care of Gage tonight. Damon wasn't up to it.

We had Panda Express for dinner.
Right now, Gage & I are watching Caillou.
Caillou is bald & cute.

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Answer to your question...

So, the question was posed over at, about where to keep a bottle of spray bottle cleaner, out & about in the kitchen, rather than under the sink.

Um...I don't have an answer to that specifically....but I have a fabulous bottle of soap in my kitchen. My husband hates it; I love it; & I forbid anyone to attempt to toss or destroy my soap dispenser.

It's a tequila bottle w/ a pour spout. It screams, "I just turned 21, and I'm cool b/c now I'm old enough to drink!" ....but, it's full of liquid dish soap, and it's all mine. I will not drink tequila anymore after the night that bottle was emptied, thank you very much.
I may or may not have drank the worm. I can't remember if there even WAS a worm.

But, I buy yellowy golden dish soap so that the old folk will freak out when they come to my house & I keep the tequila right there---out & about on the counter.

...I dare someone to take a shot. I'll cut the limes.
...and then I'll laugh my a$$ off as someone burps bubbles.

Dear Tequila Bottle: I love you. You've been with me since 2001. You are my friend. You've been so dependable through the years. You are mine, and I love you. So what if your contents are now a bit less intoxicating. You know how I too have grown & changed over the years....and now, getting my dishes done IS quite exciting. I promise, I will always protect you, and refill you as needed. I will clean the spout regularly, and strike down anyone who attempts to throw you away or destroy you in any way.

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Still Sweet....

Well, he can still be sweet when he wants to be.

That's him...kissing his purple cow.



Think Blue?

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
It is also Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I'm anti-breast cancer....but I'm also anti-DV.

Sooooooooo.....many are thinking pink this month. While I hope to save the ta-tas like many others, I have to support the Domestic Violence Awareness Month too.

Did you know....

One out of five women and one out of fourteen
men has been physically assaulted by an
intimate partner at sometime in their life.

Lack of income is a common reason victims
cite for staying in abusive relationships.

The costs of domestic violence exceed 4.1 billion
dollars per year in direct medical and mental
health care services.

Researchers estimate that 8% of the female
population are subjected to physical
violence during their pregnancy.

Up to 50% of adolescent mothers
experience intimate partner violence before,
during, or just after their pregnancy.

*******cited from

So...there you go. October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

A Whole New World.

So, it's raining today. But, guess what? (1) I don't have to go to work, & (2) I have a garage!

...and remember when I said, "clearly I'm expecting this garage to change my life..." Yeah, I was right. So far, using the garage makes me shake, sweat, & almost sh*t my pants. It's a ton of fun. I highly suggest everyone take a turn at parking your brand new freakin' dream car in this shoe box of a space.

Now, I'm told that when you have a garage w/ 2 entrances (one entrance per car), that this door is standard size for that type of set up.
Well, fuck me.

I get to make about a 26 point turn just to make sure that I am perfectly aligned with the opening. Here comes the shaking...and I'm already sweating.
As I inch forward, I'm convinced that I am going to slowly scrape the sides of Car #2 along the door frame. I have to give a little gas to get over the cement lip, and of course, I'm not THAT used to driving Car #2, so I almost shit myself when I ALMOST run into the wall that marks the end of the garage/beginning of the house. Yeah, I'm sure our Home Owner's Insurance doesn't cover stupidity.
"Maam---you're too stupid to own this car. We're repossessing it b/c you're a dumbass."
"But----I made the payments on time!"
"That's not why we're here. You clearly can't park the S.O.B., so we're removing it from your possession."
Okay....that above conversation didn't really happen...but I can feel it coming.

Oh yeah...this whole garage thing is going to change my life.... In fact, yesterday it kept my ass home. Why? because the car was in the garage, and there was no place that I wanted to go bad enough to get it out of the garage. I'm sure that pulling it out will be easier that pulling it in....but still. We stayed home.

Oh, I just couldn't waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait to have a garage....


Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Where Did Baby Go?

So...many years ago, I had a Little Golden Book called, "Where did Baby Go?" It was illustrated by Eloise Wilkin. (my mom just loves the little faces she drew...) anyway, it was one of my favorite books as a kid.

and now, I have my own baby....and sometimes I look at him, and see nothing but a little boy. I think to myself, "where did my baby go?"

He's running, and jumping, and talking. He's just....a little boy.

We still have our snuggly baby moments....but he's growing up so fast.


Spidey Coat.

Well, Gage loves his Halloween costume!

He calls it his "Spidey Coat."

Now, I just hope it still fits a month from now.
and, I hope it gets cooler so he won't be sweating his little behind off!

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