Death by Nickel & Dime.

I can see the headlines now...

Dallas Woman Found Dead in School Parking Lot!
A Dallas woman was found under a pile of requests for $$. Apparently the woman was inundated with requests for $$ for various things from her son's school, and the woman crumpled under the weight of the requests...

Yes, that will be me.
Death by Nickel & Dime.

I blame the Book Fair.
I blame Schlastic.
I blame the fundraisers!

...which brings me to another series of thoughts: The Fundraiser. You want me to peddle this CRAP to people I actually know and love? There isn't even anything in there that I would buy! I can't ask people who KNOW me to buy this crap. $8 for a roll of wrapping paper? Really? If I pay $8 for a roll of wrapping paper--NEWSFLASH: that WILL be the gift. {"Oh, thanks...you got me a couple rolls of wrapping paper for my birthday...that's...different..."}
And THEN----say I actually sell this junk to people...I have to then pick it all up & distribute it???
I've got a better idea: why don't you just TELL me how much extra $$ you want, and for what purpose. I'll whip out my checkbook, and we can just cut the crap, and cut out the middle man. Mmmmkay?
ORRRRR----raise tuition by 5 bucks, and don't bother me with your peddle-this-crap fundraisers. Sound good?

Next year: I'm going to hand Gage's teacher a $20 bill on day one of school, and say, "Here's $20. You can buy supplies. You can donate it to the school. You can put it in your pocket & spend it at the liquor store. I don't care. But---it comes with ONE REQUEST: come fundraiser time---you skip Gage's folder when you're sending those little brochures home. Capiche?" That's right---I'll PAY the next teacher to not send that crap to my house.

...the book fair....
When I was little: the book fair came but once a year. If you missed it---you missed it.
Now, they send home these little magazines to order from Scholastic. I poured over that thing. If I engaged Gage in the whole ordering process, he would have wanted one of everything. So, I did it... Then, the same day that the books came in---they send home another magazine full of completely different books! And, a newsletter & magazine with yet ANOTHER set of books that will be available for purchase at the book fair.

I got news: you're killin' me!

But----alas, we did the book fair thing this morning. Gage had six 1-dollar-bills. He carefully selected his book, priced at $4.99, and had enough money to cover it. It was a tough selecting process, but I was very proud of him. And of course, after checking him into his classroom this morning---I returned to the book fair & bought all of the books that he wanted to buy but didn't have enough $$ for... I am happy to report that those are already wrapped in holiday wrapping & ready to go under the tree! {yes, I'm ahead of the game, FINALLY!....Hubby's even got 2-3 gifts with his name on them...I've got 'em wrapped & ready to go!}

I really need to get some house work done today, so for now I must sign off.
Happy Veteran's Day!
P.S. Gage wants an I-Phone for Christmas.
{yeah, buddy, me too.}

Saturday...11/7/9

Well, I had an early Saturday home visit....after that, Gage & I went to the movies!

Thanks to Zephra, who told me about Hollywood theater being a dollar movie place now...I decided to take Gage for a cheap-o afternoon movie.


My goodness...I remember being a child when this movie theater was brand new. The coolest things were the pizza place inside & the talking trash can. It's crazy what we remember, isn't it?
Well....they don't have stadium seating. It was built during the pre-stadium seating days.
But, it's the way to go when you aren't exactly sure that you're child will sit through an entire movie. This way we were only out $2 instead of $20!

But---he sat through the previews & the entire movie. What a hit!!!
We saw: Aliens in the Attic
It was cute. Funny. But, I will have to say that I've entered this new part of parenting that will include me sitting through a bunch of kid movies that I don't really want to see. Would I have chosen to see that? No. Was I ready for it to end when we still had about 30 minutes left? Yes. But, alas, it is part of my parenting duty, and he had a good time. That's what matters, right?

Friday Night Fun...

Saturday, 11/7 is our 6 year anniversary.
So, the celebrating started on Friday when I got flowers at work.


After I ***RUSHED*** home to get changed, we headed to dinner at this place: Kyoto Steakhouse for Hibachi! Mmmmmm!

Review: the drinks are strong, or mine was anyway....like alarmingly strong. The food was good. The lobster---okay, but not worth their price. The shrimp was delicious, and the hibachi steak was PERFECT!

What was next?
A trip to the movie theater...
Why, a movie review? From me?
Okay! Surely I can give you what you wants!

The movie: Paranormal something-or-other.
My take: I'd have had more fun setting fire to $30 in cash & watching it burn. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn't have had a headache behind my eyeballs & feel queasy after watching the money burn.
Yeah----I saw about 10...maybe 15 minutes of this movie---shot in that bullsh*t-home-video-unsteady kind of way before I was about ready to vomit right there in the theater.
But hey---way back when---the Blair Witch Project got rave reviews, so if you liked THAT {piece of crap} movie, then maybe you'll be able to tolerate this style of film.
Now----I might also add that the movie content may have been stellar. I have no idea. The unsteady camera let me know that the program was NOT for me.

After that----picked up Gage & headed home.
I was so tired.
Hubby rented some movie about hijacking a subway train. Stars John Travolta & Denzel Washington. The first 15-20 minutes of it were great. But, resistance against sleep at that point was futile. I was wiped out from my day. Hubby finished the movie & said it was good.

:)
That was our Fun Friday!

Whitney Houston: "Kiss My A$$!"

World, I have a {gasp!} shocking announcement to make: I DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER.

And, to be perfectly honest, I don't know if the world could stand it if I *DID* have it all together!


Recently---people have been complimenting me on my balance of school work, mommy-hood, internship, real work....etc. They think I've got it all together.

Another friend was talking with me on the phone & saying that she didn't think she measured up in the arena of parenting & called me "the perfect mom" and "the fun mom."

News flash: I'm not the perfect student, or the perfect wife, or the perfect mom, or the perfect friend, or the perfect employee. I'm not the perfect anything, I assure you.

I let my kid eat marshmallows for breakfast sometimes.

I could not find my wallet the other day. It was right where I left it: in the fridge with the bag of booze I bought at the liquor store the night before.

I found myself in the midst of a caffeine-deprived-major-parenting-fail the other morning when I had NO individually bottled/packaged for Gage's lunchbox, other than one can of Dr.Pepper & a wine cooler. I had to STOP myself when I travelled down the mental road of: "well, this is loaded with sugar. But this one has fruit...well, fruit flavoring at least...WTF AM I THINKING? THIS IS A WINE COOLER!" Yes, Parenting FAIL.
{Parenting Tip #762: PreSchools frown upon you sending glass bottled alcoholic beverages in your kid's lunch.}

Without my calendar, I would NOT do my homework, or my papers.
I recently forgot a PAPER that was due until I received a text message from a classmate the night before. At that point, I got side-tracked by the fact that I couldn't find my wallet, so I put the paper off until the next day...

I was late to work 17 times out of a period of 24 shifts.

My kiddo is 4 years old, and I enable his baby-like behavior. I still warm his milk...and then I put Nesquick in it---just like he likes it!

I don't insist that he wear socks with his shoes every single day.

I don't insist that he take a bath every single night.

I let him play barefoot in the backyard.

I suck at washing his hair, and he lets me know that I don't do it nearly as well as Daddy does it.

I skip pages when I read books to him sometimes when I'm eager to go to bed myself.

I haven't taken him to the library....in like 2 months.

I hardly see my friends any more...

I don't have all my sh*t together: I have a calendar...and coffee....
I've made peace with fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mentality.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to a time when I don't have to juggle school in the mix with all of these other things. I look forward to a time when I can spend more time on walks, and crafts, and have the energy to create fun projects for us to all do together. I can't wait until I have more time to work on decorating our home for the various holidays....when I can sew more than the random hem on pants...

But--------in my defense: I'm not completely worthless.
My family loves me.
I've got good grades.
I get good feedback at my internship.
I haven't gotten fired at work.
My house may look like a bomb went off & I haven't been totally caught up on the laundry in...weeks....but we always have clean clothes to wear.
As far as I know, I don't smell, and my son doesn't smell...so that's something, right?

So..........I'm not the world's best Mommy. I don't have all my shit together. For those who would judge me for it, I'll let Whitney Houston sum up my response: "Kiss My A$$!"



{okay...did I really let crazy-crack-head-Whitney sum something up for me? just another example of how warped I am, right!?}

Overdue: Trip to visit Darnin'!

Gage & I took a little road trip to visit Darnin' the weekend before Halloween.

Clearly the sun was in Gage's eyes, so he had to borrow my shades...


And with that, we were on the road!
Ahhhhh the joys of a backseat-radio-commando, and the 8 million Are-We-There-Yets, not to be surpassed by the How-Much-Longers????
Good times.

Glad to report: we arrived safely.
And in fact, we were in time for dining out!
We went to:





And when we got home, Darnin showed us "the broom trick."

Just in time for Halloween...and of course Gage asked Darnin', "Are you gonna fly on that thing?"

Allen broke his arm. Well, not that night...he broke it before, so he's got a cast on. And---we got to sign it! How cool!? {well, we had fun with it!}


And he helped Gage build a huuuuuuuge pile of pillows for a soft landing spot...

It didn't take long on Sunday morning for Gage to REQUIRE his SpiderMan costume.


Gage got a special Halloween goodie bag with some Halloween books, and some Halloween Peeps {gag a maggot!}.


And then it was Halloween craft time! Darnin is so creative & fun. She found some cute Owl on a stick Halloween treats made out of Moon Pies. {Hey Darnin', where's the RC Cola? Come on! A Moon Pie & no RC Cola? You're doing it wrong...}
Anyway....Gage & Allen had a blast decorating these. Only...2 or 3 looked like owls because the boys got a bit more creative with their decorations.


The final creations:


After that, we decided to go for a "hike" in the woods...Check out Darnin's hiking boots...Yeah, she's a rockstar like that.


Pics from our hike...




It was a good time, and when we got home---Daddy tucked Gage in, and read him one of his new Halloween stories...

The Knee....4 days later.

Ouch.

Halloween Fun! {Part TWO}

Ready to Trick-or-Treat...

OCTOMOM & SPIDER MAN


My Octomom Halloween Costume was a hit. Spider Man was cute too. His mask got a little warm, so he didn't wear it long!

{"Has anyone seen the California Welfare Line? Or Oprah? I could use another room makeover. What about all those free nannies? Where the hell are they? What about the rest of my kids? They should be around here somewhere.... Kate Gosselin ain't got nothin' on me! And Angelina--no, I didn't have my lips done to look like you. These are all natural...I promise."}



The coolest-spookiest-house that we visited....




Really, it was cooler at night. With all these different sound effects, and lighting effects. The flash on the camera didn't allow me to capture it the way it really was. Gage loved it! He got scared, but loved it!

Gage crashed on the way home. Sooooo sleepy. Daddy put him in bed, still in his costume. But---we'd already made plans for Tera, Nathan, & Aubri to come over. So, Gage slept through it, while the rest of us were hanging out with the fire pit in the backyard.

Halloween Fun! {Part ONE}

This year was THE BEST Halloween for Gage.

Remember how in the past he wasn't such a fan of Halloween?
That's all changed.

In fact---it's fair to say that he's worn his costume out.

Pics from our Halloween celebrations...

Halloween Festival at the Harbor:







I was totally excited when we found this guy dressed up as a GhostBuster! We thought Gage would be too. Not so much....He was afraid that ghosts were going to come out of the ghost-busting-machine.

{and pardon the bruised knot on his forehead. sometimes Gage & corners of the wall don't mix...}

Funny story from Trick-or-Treating the police @ The Harbor: Gage got 2 suckers from the cops that read, "Just Say No." Gage said, "What does that say?" I told him that it read, "Just say no."
Gage: "To what? Just say no to what?"
Mommy: "Just say no to drugs. It means don't do drugs."
Gage: "Well, I'm doin' 'em. I'm doin' drugs."
Mommy---laughing---nodding to Daddy.
Gafe: "No, not Daddy. Me. Gagie. I'm doin' drugs."

Oh, we just cracked up!
Little criminal mind! The cops say not to do something, and he's instantly on it. He's opposite trained!!!

Halloween Fun Pumpkins....

Okay, so here are some of the Halloween Pumpkin submissions from a pumpkin contest at work...



{the inside of a pumpkin...x-ray style!}











:)
Hope you enjoyed!

My Face Plant....or rather, Knee Plant.

Yesterday, I fell.

I fell hard.

Scene: mother in law's driveway. I was wearing some really cute pants, a black sweater, and black boots. {yes, the details are important.}

Gage & I were playing a quick few rounds of "kickie ball", and I was trying to keep Gage's ball from rolling in the street. So, I ran to the side end of the driveway trying to catch up to the ball. The heel of my boot caught on the part of the driveway where it starts to form the curb with the street. AND I FELL. But no, I couldn't just fall....I had to land on my right knee. Unfortunately for me---there were some stacked border stones that broke my fall. And by that, I mean that my knee slammed into the edge of one of them. Tore my brand new pants. My knee cap looks like I took a cheese grater to it. At first, I used the tree to pull up, but I was not sure that I could walk. It was bad. And worse---right across the street from the mother in law is one of the tee-off spots for a hole of golf. Some guy was there getting ready to tee off. I wasn't loud, and I don't think he saw me fall---but he was definitely all ears as Gage started throwing a fit because his ball was rolling down the street, and he's not allowed into the street. Oh what a fit, and there I am holding onto a Crepe Myrtle just trying not to scream & bawl!

So, Memaw got the ball, and helped me doctor my knee. My super-cute pants are torn & blood stained.
The knee:
Yes, I can walk on it. I think it was just the initial blow that was pretty intense.

Last night---oh, the swelling started. Slowly but surely.
Didn't sleep so well.

This morning---I feel like a truck ran into me. My arms are sore, my shoulders are sore, and my knee....oh, my poor knee. Luckily, most of the swelling is down. So, that's good. But it's sore to the touch, and sore to bend.

Falling at 31 years old is a whole lot different than falling when I was younger. Now I feel like a Big Mac Truck ran smack-dab into me.

Chalkboard Fun

Did I mention how much I ***LOVE*** this chalkboard paint?
It's AWESOME! We just painted a chalkboard right on the wall.

These pics are from earlier in October...but, Hubby has started the process of framing it out with a wooden frame border which will be white. The white you see in the pics is just the white paint that was under the blue tape border...

Anyway...Gage & I both love it!





We got the paint at Home Depot or Lowe's. You can tint it, and it's so easy to use!
We heart Chalkboard Paint!

Sweet Pumpkin Boy!

...ummmm...when was this? 7 days ago? 8 days ago?

Once upon a time, we stopped by a pumpkin place, and Gage had a blast. How about that???

We were actually dressed up for something else, so here are pics from that evening...including out pumpkin-picking-out, which by the way: heels & pumpkin places don't really mix. Good times, I assure you...

My sweet boy...


At the pumpkin place...he was such a strong boy! But, he was on the go, so I have very few fabulous pics.









A good time was had by all.
In fact, we even carved 2 of the pumpkins the other night... {no, they didn't last once we put them outside...in fact I threw them away today because they were all rotten & caved in. Yum!}

Which brings me to a rather funny conversation...It just further proves the difference between men & women... or rather, the difference between myself & Hubby.
Lainey-Paney: Hey, did you clean up that pumpkin mess?
Hubby: Yes.
What I saw later:


By whose standard is this "clean?" Really makes you think about the definition of "clean," doesn't it? To me---no, this is not clean. To Hubby---the pumkin "guts" are thrown away, and the bowls containing said pumpkin guts were in the sink. Apparently that equals clean in his world.
Boys are so weird.

But, we've loaded up on pumpkins, so there will be more carving in our near future, I'm sure. More of the Halloween preparations await!

It's a Major Award!

Woohoo! Got an award from Cassie @ http://ringfamilycircus.blogspot.com


The rules:

1. Thank the person that gave you this award
(thank you, Cassie)
2. Copy the award
(did that)
3. Tell 7 things about myself that other's may not know.

Mmmmmkaaaaaaaaay.

7 things about me...

1. I want to be buried in my "good bra." You know---the one that holds the girls in juuuuust the right way so that they're pointing to Heaven & I don't look like a 10 year old boy laying in a coffin. Morbid, yes, I know. But hey---I'm supposed to list 7 things that people might not really know about me...so there's one.

2. My feet are usually cold & my hands are usually HOT. Like flashing hot.

3. I love "shopping" in my mother's closet, and she's lucky that I didn't take her strappy buckled Cole Haan heels when I left there...

4. I DVR Young & The Restless. I know it's sad & pathetic & what not. But I can't help my silly self! {shhhh....don't tell!}

5. I love hominy.

6. My favorite author is Dorothy Parker.

7. I would rather load the dishwasher than unload it.

:)

Colin & Melis!

Congratulations, Colin & Melis!
Happy Wedding Day!

Busy, Busy, Busy.

First & foremost---let me say that I am supposed to be in Jamaica right now, but I am not.

So---Colin & Melissa: I called y'all this morning, thinking that y'all were leaving today. I'm a super sucky friend b/c y'all left on Tuesday. On the upside: I spoke with Allison, and your pets are doing well {as if you are reading this while in Jamaica...who am I kidding!?}.

Busy Bullets:

* No Jamaica. Life is sucking right now, eh?

* Still had the days off from work! So, what have I done? Busted my hiney at the ol' internship. I seriously logged some hours over these past couple of days.

* Dentist: took Gage on Tuesday. No cap. No bling-bling-silver cap. Wooohooo! That's the good news. The bad news: he had 3 cavities, 2 different kinds---aerobic & anaerobic. Why? "He has deep grooves" in his little teeth. The other bad news: the medicine they give him---supposed to make him sleepy & groggy, yada, yada. Um. How about no? Has the same effect on him as Benadryl...except---it was like Super-Benadryl. Benadryl on crack! He was literally bouncing off the walls. He was jumping up on the benches & jumping down. He could NOT be still. Luckily the orange scented laughing gas helped him calm down. For a while. And then---as they are doing his fillings, he'd randomly panic & freak out & just start pulling all this stuff off his face & out of his mouth. Then, I step up & try to calm him---step on some pedal & water starts squirting about. They were so patient with us. I couldn't do that all day every day. They truly take the cake for patience, and being upbeat, etc. They rock.

* Got pumpkins from a Rockwall Pumpkin Patch on Sunday night...

* Tuesday night brought the carving of pumpkins....after Gage & I had a long nap. Let me back up to Tuesday....the medicine that made him bounce off the walls---well, it made him an evil-demon-child when he was coming down off of it. Seriously. He was just....awful! And I felt awful for him because it seemed like he couldn't help it. He was just unhappy, unsatisfied even when I gave him what he demanded...we HAD to have a nap. We snuggled on the couch at 1:30 & woke up at 4. It was nice to randomly get a nap in the middle of the week!

* So---anyway, Tuesday night brought the carving of pumpkins & the frying of the pumpkin seeds. Yes, I fry them. In butter. Then I salt them. Then I eat them until I practically make myself sick on them, and I don't do it again until the next year. It's a sad tradition, and I do it annually. Can't help myself. It's like eating one of those Easter marshmallow peeps. They're so cute & fluffy, and then I have...oh, ONE of them, and I feel sick afterward. That's my Easter tradition....

* Got an A on my Monday night paper. Super excited about that.

* Think I got an A on my Thursday night test. She'll finalize the grading stuff soon.

* Got an online survey about how my experience was when my car was being fixed...gave the insurance co. a good review, but gave a rather vivid description of my driving experiences in my rentals (the 2nd one w/ the bad smell....yes, I assure you that my description included the phrases "hot flowers," & "snorting cigarrette ashes in a chicken coop." That was this morning. Got a return call from the car rental place this afternoon. I missed the call & the guy left a message. Talk about "service recovery!" We'll see what he has to say tomorrow...

* That's about all I know now...I've been super busy!
:)