Dinner Tonight...

Okay, so I've cooked for a change.
wooohooo!

mainly it's b/c this is something that I enjoy eating...but, my hubby doesn't enjoy it as much as me, and so he doesn't cook it...

Seafood Stew

1 c. green bell pepper
1/2 c. chopped onion
1 tbsp cooking oil
1 tbsp cornstarch
1 can (14.5 oz) diced tomatoes
1 6 oz. can tomato juice
1 c. chopped frozen okra
3 cans (4 oz. each) cooked shrimp
2 cans (4 oz. each) crab
3/4 c. quick cooking rice

In a large pot, cook the chopped bell pepper & onion in hot oil until tender. Stir in cornstarch. Add the undrained tomatoes & tomato juice. Cook & stir until bubbly; add okra. Bring mixture to boiling; reduce heat. Cover; simmer 10 minutes. Stir in shrimp, crab rice, and 1 1/4 cups water. Return mixture to boiling. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand for about 5 minutes or until rice is tender.

:)
I think it's so yummy! And, it's not spicy, so that makes me happy.

Little Lips....

Well, those are the lips today.
Not NEARLY as puffy as they have been.
Woohoo! Progress!
His mouth is still flaming red, & so are the innermost parts of his lips...but, the sores on his lips are gone. Or...not exactly gone...but, they're not all puffed up. They've busted open (YUM!), so now it's just fresh little open spots. Poor guy....

So, today, his mouth still hurts.
He's still crabby.
He's still whiney.
He still breaks down in tears when it comes to eating.
But, "Scooby make it feel better."
We've been playing "garbage man" in the living room & watching Scooby Doo. I take junk mail, tear it into pieces, and wad them up into little crinkles and throw them all over the living room floor. He then takes the trash truck all around the living room, & pretends that he's visiting a neighborhood & picking up their trash. He loads it into the back of the truck until he's got it all picked up. Then he takes it to the "'cycle bin" [recycle bin...b/c it IS paper after all...] & empties it. Then, I start over---raining trash into my own living room.

....oh, the things I'll do for this child!

EeeeeeeeGads!

So...spoke with the nurse this morning at 9:40. He was crabby. Had a low-grade fever. Had the puffy lips. Tongue: fine. Mouth: fine.

Got an 11:10 appointment.

By 11:10, he had sores on his bottom lip.
He had sores & spots all over his tongue.
He had sores all in his mouth that looked like mini-mountain-ranges along his cheeks where his gums met his cheeks. Top, bottom, middle---you name it, it had a sore on it. Gums: red, puffy.

Gross.

When the swelling first started, we thought: allergic reaction.
To what?
You scour the list of "what's new?" The only thing different in his world is orajel. But, I think he had it back when he was getting his first teeth....
So, we were thinking, "could he be allergic to orajel?"

Then the nurse on the phone said that during teething, the saliva changes, and he could be having a reaction to his own saliva.
"Oh, great. I WOULD get the kid who is allergic to his own spit!"
But, turns out, that's not the case.

He's got a raging case of Coxsackie Virus.
Gross. And, the doctor said it looks like he's got some A29 strain of the virus b/c of the onset of symptoms & the sores presenting today....blah, blah, blah. Looks like this could last a week is what all that boils down to.

The doctor scraped his tongue depressor along Gage's tongue & these sores just busted open & stuff went everywhere & his little tongue started bleeding. Oh, it was so gross.

The good news: it's just a virus.
The bad news: because it's a virus, there's really nothing to do about it.
The worst news: it's going to get worse before it gets better.
But, as long as he's making wet diapers, no worries, let the virus run the course.
Lovely.

Meanwhile: I feel dirty. I feel like Gage is dirty. The pediatrician told me not to feel dirty. Certainly wipe anything that may come into contact with his saliva, but that we can all encounter a virus at any time...yada, yada, yada.

And...it's contagious. I have to keep him away from other kids so that he doesn't give it to them.... No playing with Aubri...no playgrounds....nada until these go away and he's been fever-free for over 24 hours.
Great.

He's so pitiful being sick.
"I jus sick."
"I don't feel well."
"I'na jus rest a while."
I ask him if he wants to play in the backyard..."No, I jus sick. I jus gonna stay on the couch."
You know this child is sick if he's refusing to play outside.

But...he was WONDERFUL at the doctor's office, for a change.
Perhaps it was the bribery.... whatever, it worked! After the dr's office, I took him to the grocery store to pick out popsicles & a "prize car." He chose a blue car, and we were on our way. When we got home, he wanted some "real cheese" (grated cheese), so I put a little bit in a bowl for him....but then he was immediately in tears telling me that the cheese hurt his mouth. Since Sunday, he's eaten about 3 tablespoons of jell-o, and now about 1/2 cup of dry Trix cereal. Which...kind of surprised me. Grated cheese hurts his mouth, but the dry Trix cereal was okay? Weird. But, whatever. if he told me he wanted a lasagna right now, I'd cook it just to get him to eat anything!!!!

So...we're stuck at home for the next few days.
Yuckola.
Poor kid.

My Little Freak Baby.

So...for the past 2 days now, Gage's lips have been swollen.

He's getting his 2 year molars, so we've had teething pain, fever, & a raging case of the whines.

....but yesterday morning, he woke up looking like SHE could be his mom.
">

So...he got Benadryl all day. Around 5, I spoke with the pediatrician...keep giving him Benadryl & watch him....watch for difficulty breathing, yada yada yada.

Around 7pm, he looked a little more like SHE could be his mom.

I was worried about the skin holding!

So, I talked to a friend who is a pediatrician....and just as we were getting ready to head out the door to the ER, the swelling started to go back down.

Kids are soooooooooooooooo weird.
I need to call the pediatrician's office when they open in a little bit.
Life is rough right now.
Gage is whiny. His teeth hurt. He's drooling like a Saint Bernard. It takes 2 adults to hold him down to give him his Benadryl/Tylenol/Motrin at their various due times.

I think it's going to be a loooooooooong day.

Today:

Today I...


....threw a snake in my neighbor's yard. (I've been known to do this on several occasions.)

....smelled my little boy's sweaty head & just soaked it all in.

....bribed my kid with Lincoln Logs so that he'd let me "click" his nails.

....washed the lint trap on my dryer.

....thought about cleaning a lot more than I actually cleaned.

....lied to my child & told him that I was drinking hot coffee & he couldn't touch my cup...when really it was filled with Dr.Pepper, but I don't want him to have any.

....brushed & flossed like a good girl should.

....wore an orange baseball cap because Gage put it on my head this morning.

....ate super yummy home-made chicken fried steak for dinner! And, no, I didn't make it.

....went to the store BY MYSELF, and took my time because it was...well, MY TIME!

....came home from the store with a "prize" for Gage. (It's a $5 lawn mower, and he's in love.)

....kissed Gage's various body parts with Mommy Magic healing kisses after he "bonked" himself. [instead of "bump", Gage says "bonk". As in, "I bonked my head!"]

....learned that only grated cheese is what Gage considers "real cheese".

....played a little "hut hut" in the backyard with Gage earlier. (that's code for "football".)

....enjoyed walking barefoot in the grass.

Well, those are some of the good things from my day.
:)

Today...

Today...I seem a bit snappy.
A bit...unpleasant.
I'm being a witch, I think.

I'm ready for the weekend. Not that being at home with a 2 year old is a picnic, but at least then all the problems that I have to deal with will be my own, and I won't have to listen to other people whine about sh*t that they repeatedly do nothing about.
...nah, I'm not jaded & sarcastic at all.

See...I can't even blog nicely today.
Clearly, I've gotta go!

...and maybe when I return tomorrow I'll be the ol' happy me.

Pity Party....and You're All Invited.

The truth is: I'm struggling right now.
I've got this wave that has been coming on for...a little bit now.
I've been missing Masyn just....so much.
God, I'm crying while I type this.

I'll get in my car & just cry by myself while I drive.
I'll rock Gage & just cry about the baby that I never got to rock.

I have these totally raw & unprocessed feelings of guilt. Today it's like I finally had all the little pieces to put together this thought, although it may be completely warped, but still it's like it had been scrambled in my head & heart & finally came together today...
I was too busy to even know Masyn was there. Too busy to notice.
I was too busy to know when Masyn died.
Where was I in that moment?
What was I doing in that moment?
How could I have possibly been so oblivious?

And this guilt about every day getting a little easier.
How can it be easier? Some days are easier. Sometimes I've thought---with everything going on with my husband's health & surgery after surgery...what if I had to go through all that with a 2 year old & a brand new baby? How awful would that be????? And then I feel guilty. I feel guilty for thinking life would be harder right now with a brand new baby.

And now...Masyn would not be brand new anymore. Masyn would have been born in January or February. Probably February.

And while I'm visiting this topic, lets talk about regrets. In the grand scheme of things, I have many. I had no idea that I was pregnant with Masyn, so I was drinking & having a good ol' time. In fact, at my birthday party in June...a few people even asked if I was pregnant, but I just truly didn't believe that I was. I just had no idea. No idea. And there I was, partying it up.

Actually, in the above paragraph, I was going to cover 2 different regrets...so, here goes: I had a d&c the day after I found out Masyn was not alive. I just had to see. I had to see what came out of me. I just needed to see. I saw a plastic container with the "products of conception" & the uterine linings. I saw no baby. The entire container was sent to a lab for pathology. In speaking with...goodness....who did I speak with? Did I speak with Dr.B's nurse? Did I speak with the lab people? I forget now.... but I distinctly remember the word "decomposed". They did pathology on Masyn. Masyn had already started to decompose. What I wish I'd asked for ahead of time: gender testing. Yes, I know, the sex organs may not have formed on my baby, but if the baby just literally came out in pieces with the uterine lining, and they were able to find it---surely.....surely they could have done SOME type of gender testing. I want to know---was Masyn a girl or a boy? I don't know. I just don't know. I feel like Masyn was a girl, but my reasons for thinking that are completely unfounded.

Moving on....another regret: why didn't I have Masyn cremated, or buried? Why didn't I speak up in that moment? I asked some pretty direct questions when I was in there getting ready for the grand evacuation---what will happen to my baby when this is over? I was told that everything would go to pathology & then be disposed of. I knew this. There is no delicate way to say that. There are no words of comfort in that. That was not Dr.B's fault. I asked a direct question, and he was so very honest with me about everything I wanted to know. But in that moment---why didn't I say "after pathology, can we have all of it cremated?"
My baby was discarded with medical waste.
waste.
like trash.
I let them incinerate my child with trash.
why didn't I speak up? why wasn't it offered? It probably wasn't offered because the baby's growth was so retarded to begin with. Everything literally crumpled & fell apart as it was being taken from me because my baby had been dead for so long. My baby was decomposing inside of me, and I didn't even know it. They probably didn't offer it because in the state of Texas, I think it's anything 500 grams or larger you have to bury or cremate, and Masyn was not 500 grams. I think it was just assumed that since there was no longer a unified body, it just wasn't something to consider or address.

...speaking of regrets, and speaking of Masyn. I've got something else that still just...is bothersome. October. October is domestic violence awareness month. October is breast cancer awareness month. October 15th is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day. In honor of these things, this past October I made ribbons...tons of ribbons. I work in a hospital,you see, and we sport ribbons for all kinds of things. Pink for breast cancer, purple for domestic violence, and pink & blue for P&IL awareness. Prior to me making the ribbons & explaining their meaning, many didn't know about October 15th, it's significance, or the significance of the ribbon. I didn't mind sharing the meaning. Afterall, it was something important to me, and in society in general, it's not something that is so readily discussed like say....breast cancer awareness. So, I'm talking with one coworker at a table in our office, and she repeatedly told me "But THIS one is the most important." Referring to the pink ribbon. She said this in my face no less than 3 times, b/c each time I said, "I think they're all important." She is a breast cancer survivor. So, yes, I'm sure that to HER, the pink ribbon IS the most important. To me, it was not. And her statements....over & over & over again---insensitive. I don't think it even registered with her that what she was saying to me was hurtful & offensive. What I wanted to say: "Not to me. Your parents got to hold you when you were a baby. You had a childhood. You grew up. You got married. You had children. Compared to Masyn, you've had a pretty full life. My child got NONE of that. So to me, THIS pink & blue ribbon is the most important." But, I didn't say those things. And certainly I think that breast cancer is horrible, and I think we need to fund research...all those things. But, don't negate or belittle my experience and say that yours is worse. They are both horrible. Period. I suppose I could have shut her up quickly by saying, "You're still alive and I've got a dead baby." Or, "You fought the battle for your life, and I have a dead baby. In the end, ribbons are nothing compared to what we've been through." I suppose that would have been the nicer way to give us both credit for our experiences & send her the message to drop it...but no. I let it go. And why?
Why did I let it go if I still think about it being hurtful?
I dunno.

...maybe it's all because I'm having a pity party & in one of those "start crying & end up crying about everything that has ever gone wrong ever" modes.

But...I'll get through this.
And thank you to Jamie, who called me, and gave me a wonderful distraction from my old friend, Sadness. It was time for her to go anyway....

tired.

i just walked 9.3 miles while pushing gage, a 32 pound toddler, in a regular non-jogging-not-easy-to-maneuver-stroller.

i'm too tired to blog.

Happy Earth Day ! ! !

Well, around here we recycle...a lot.
I'm often referred to as "the recycling nazi".
So, we didn't plant a tree or anything today...just the usual stuff.
What we didn't do that I wanted to do: go to the Green Apple Festival over the weekend. Our weekend was very full with family, fun, & friends....so the Green Apple Fest just didn't work out for this year. There's always next year!

Today...I walked 4 miles with Gage in his stroller. I'm so freaking proud of myself.
I know, I know...it would be more impressive to say "I ran 4 miles with Gage in his stroller!"....but, I don't yet have a jogging stroller, and I haven't run in...a while.

So tomorrow....who knows? Maybe I'll walk a million miles...
Or maybe I'll walk to buy a jogging stroller, and then run home!
(not likely...)

Tons of Pics from Camp Wanica...

Well, I took a ton of pictures, and sadly, did not get everyone photographed. I think my Aunt Loraine said that there were 94 people in total.... Something wild like that.

Anyway...my grandmother is Mema. She's one of many many children. (maybe 10? 12? I forget.) 4 of her sisters were there...two were in from Flagstaff.
Mema & her sisters

That's my Mema in the white visor.
:)

And then Mema went on to have SEVEN DAUGHTERS!
Sadly, two have passed away, so there are now 5 left.
Left to right: My Mom, Aunt Pat, Aunt Billie, Aunt Wanda, Aunt Loraine


Going down from there....each of the daughters had at least two children, all of them older than me. I'm the youngest grandchild, and I'm almost THIRTY!
So, Mema's got great-great-grandbabies!
Mema & her great-great-granddaughter, Tatum.

Isn't she so alert & cute???? Her hair is coming in, and it is just as dark as can be. So baby fine, but almost black. It doesn't look so dark in the picture, but it is. And she is So Sweeeeet!

There was a lot of playing on the playground...






What else?
My mom loves my child sooooo much that when he said, "May I can have some cake?" She said yes & let him pick which one. When he chose Great Aunt Wanda's Birthday Cake, she cut it up & served him a corner piece!

Of course, after that we had to change his clothes...but boy, was Gage a happy camper at Camp Wanica!

There were lots of smiles!




There truly are way too many pics to post...

A good time was had by all. I'm pretty convinced that the best time was had by Gage.
He was asleep before we even got on a paved road!


UPDATED: And just for Alissa... here are the cows & the road-runner!


The road-runner is in the center of this pic. He's small, fast, and hard to see in this pic!

You Know I'm From The City When....

WARNING: I never promised to be PC. I never promised to be smart either. I never promised to be anything but me.

So....over the weekend, we went to Camp Wanica. It's a big campground place that my family rents out at least twice a year for gatherings. In total, my Aunt Loraine says there are about 94 of us now.
Anywhooooooo.....

Getting out of the city, out into the country....well, it magnifies the city girl in me. I have three scenarios (true stories...and boy, am I proud) that took place while there...

ONE:
We're in the car, cruising on down the white gravel road to turn off to Camp Wanica.
Gage: "Mommy, what are those?"
Me: "Those are cows."
Gage: "What do you call them?"
Me: "Cows."
So, we took pictures of the cows.
Two things to note about this: my child didn't recognize a cow when he saw one. He's only seen them in kiddie-books, and then they are drawings or cartoonish, and---there's the city girl: Out there taking pictures of cows!

TWO:
Some of my cousins were sitting around talking about how some of my other cousins went hog hunting last night. My brain immediately thinks they went bar hopping cruising for fat chicks. Um, no. Apparently that was not the case. They (the guys)pulled out a cooler, opened it up....clear ice on there. No biggie...could have been cokes buried in the ice. One of them grabbed the handle, tipped the cooler sideways, and started draining out the bloody water at the bottom of the cooler.
Me: "Oh, God, Did you kill her??????"
I wanted NO PART of that! I'm no accessory after the fact! No, um....turns out, they really went out hunting hogs. These are pigs that just live in the wild [wherever the hell that is!]. So, I thought that maybe they were like some kind of runaway pig that escaped from a farm somewhere (we've all read Animal Farm, right?)... No, there are just pigs that are born in the brush somewhere & they procreate & it's this whole thing of wild pigs that just....run around, procreate, and get hunted by my cousins. Hmmmmm....who knew? Not this city girl.

THREE:
Me: "Look at that bird-thing."
Cousin: "It's not a 'bird-thing.' It's a bird."
Me: "Well, I called it that because it looks like a bird, but it's running so fast!"
Cousin: "It's a Road-Runner."
Me: "No....those things are supposed to be like 5 feet tall, right? Remember that cartoon with the coyote & the road-runner? That thing was as big as a coyote."
Cousin: "Yeah...it was also a cartoon."
In my mind....a Road-Runner was more like an Ostrich. In reality...it's quick, it's small, it's cute, but it can keep itself away from me, thank you very much.

All in all, we had a WONDERFUL time....even if I don't know a DAMN thing about non-city-life!

I'll post pics soon!

Poll:

Is it horrible to do my yard work in a swimsuit?
I'm trying to multi-task here: get some sun & get some work done.
Would that just be completely white trash?

Honest answers here.
I don't want the neighbors talking...but then again, I don't want the farmer's/golfer's tan either.

Maybe I should just lay out, and pay someone to do the yardwork, right.
Oh, and while I'm at it---i should get a cabana boy to bring me drinks.
Where's that winning lottery ticket when you need it?

Friday Night Fun...

Went to Megan's for the birthday bash last night.
Good times!!!!!


Me, Megan, Susan


Susan, David, Hubby, Me


Megan & her Mom with the birthday cake.
Oh, it was so yummy! Strawberry cake is my favorite!

Megan, Make a wish!!!


Megan & Susan opening their birthday gifts from me...


Okay....Melissa, don't look b/c your gift is similar...

Megan & Susan with their votives...

Your party was wonderful, Miss Megan!

The Big Three-Ohhhh!

Happy Birthday, Megan!


Meet Megan.
She's one of my bestest friends evah!
Megan, Susan, & I have been friends since 6th grade. Can you believe it?

Anyway...she's the big 30 today! And....I didn't get to celebrate with Susan when she turned 30 b/c her hubby carted her off to Vegas! But, I'm super excited to see both of them & give them their birthday gift! Actually, I got Melissa one too for her 30th birthday, but I haven't given it to her yet either b/c the STL trip got postponed...

Anyway!

Megan & Susan are the kind of friends that will host a baby shower for you & make sure everything is PERFECT...fromt he invitations to the favors to the flowers to the cake.
:)

[Megan, Me, Susan]

They are the kind of friends that will bring you dinner, trashy tabloid magazines & come over to keep you company when you go on "bedrest" while you're pregnant. And they'll act silly with you & wear side ponytails for flashback fun! (yes, I know...I was up out of bed....)

[Susan, Me, Megan]

Megan & Susan are the kind of friends that will stay up all day & all night sleeping off & on in the waiting room while you are in the hospital having a baby, just so they can be the first to meet him!

[Susan, sleeping on the waiting room floor, around 3am & still no baby]

They are the kind of friends who will come to your child's 1st birthday & wear the fun firemen hats because your child will like it.

[Jamie, David, Me, Susan, & Hubby]

Here's to my gals being 30....and me still being TWENTY-NINE!
...You guys are sooooooooooo OLD.

[Me, Megan, Susan]


[Mr.Susan & Susan, Mr.Megan, and Megan]

Love you Guys! Can't wait to see y'all!

Kickin' My Shouts Out.

Congrats to Mike & Kat who are expecting!
I got a text & phone message & then I spoke with Mikey...but it was just after the Shituffin experience, so things were pretty crazy around here.
Anywho.....they are expecting a new baby, and that's mega exciting!
So, congrats to them!!!!
:)

Shituffins.

Just when you think you've reached the time when you can dart out of the house with your 2 year old, and one Pull-up tucked in your purse...THINK AGAIN.

Back up a bit: you have a newborn. You are convinced that you cannot leave the house without the diaper bag stuffed with pacifiers, bottles, formula (in case you need it), a plug in bottle warmer, wipes, toys (because you know---they can't see anything that isn't right in front of them, and heaven forbid they get bored), antibacterial hand gel in case someone wants to hold your baby, extra blankets in case there is a draft wherever you are going, 4 or 5 changes of outfits, disposable nursing pads, tampons (because you never know when your period is going to start again), a CD of classical music to make them smart, the car seat, a piddle pad, the baby sling, and I'm sure there's something that's been forgotten....

Then your child gets a little bigger, and the bag gets a little lighter.

Then your child turns 2, and you mistakenly think you can leave the house with just a Pull-up tucked into your purse. After all, the pooping usually occurs at X time during the day, and you'll be home before then---right?

You are so very freakin' wrong.

Today: today we went to the tax lady, signed our paperwork, e-filed & paid for her services. After that, trip to the post office to return the netflix movies. Out of the mouth of babes: "I'll have a haircut, please." [how CUTE is that???] So, we zipped into a SuperCuts & got Gage's haircut. It's VERY cute. And just think---not so long ago we were having it buzzed off. Now, it's grown long enough to warrant a trim. Anyway....after that, we headed back home to the neighborhood. Gage wanted to play with Aubri, so I called Tera & we stopped by. All the while, we had tentative lunch plans to eat with Mark. He's Hubby's best friend, in from Atlanta. Hubby was meeting with clients around lunchtime, so he had to ditch Mark for lunch, and so Gage & I were going as substitute lunch partners. Anyway....we stop by Tera's. She made muffins. She offered us one. I had a muffin, and Gage of course wanted a "puffin too!" So, he get his own muffin....eats it....but then it's time for us to leave & meet Mark for lunch. We go to Chili's eat...have a great lunch with Mark. Change Pull-Up, and head to the park to meet Tera & Aubri for a little afternoon play since we were only at their house for about 20 minutes earlier in the day. We're at the park....we're playing....Gage toots, it's stinky, no biggie. About 10 minutes before we were going to leave, Gage comes over to me & Tera & shows us his dirty hands. They look like they are covered in chocolate fudge. WHAT THE....???? Being the Sherlock Holmes that I am, I smelled his hands. What the hell is wrong with me? Why didn't I investigate in other ways??? Yes, his hands smelled like shit. They looked like they were covered in shit. Low & Behold: it's shit. Up his back. Down his legs. All over his hands. And there I stand with a lone Pull-Up left, no wipes, no change of clothes, and now, we're both covered in shit. Tera's laughing so hard, she can barely tell me that it must have been the muffins. "Shituffins" as we now call them. They were some "Super-Fiber" muffin mix that she added cranberries to. They were delicious, but holy cow. Clearly, Gage needs NO FIBER MUFFINS in the future. So, Tera had wipes. I used every last one of them, and still couldn't get all of the poop off. I stripped Gage down & wiped him up as best I could. Threw one of Aubri's diapers on him, and drove us home.
As I am blogging, he is in the tub. We've already scrubbed the poo from his lower half & really scrubbed his hands & fingernails. Gross. Gross. Gross.

Never again will Tera offer my child a Shituffin. (she agreed!)
Never again will I leave the house underprepared for such an event.

Offended, or Amused?

I can't decide if I am offended or amused.
www.trackyourbitch.com
If you want to know when your period is coming next, input the first day of your last cycle, and track your ovulation, PMS days, and expected first day of your next cycle.
Yes, it's free...it's online...and it keeps you from counting to 28, or however many days are in your cycle.
But...the name of the website...about that...I can't tell if I am offended or amused. The fact that I'm PMSing, bloated, irritable, & pissed about a lot of things in general probably doesn't help anything...
According to my cycle, I'm in the "PMS Caution" phase. Lucky me. Lucky everyone.

It was bound to happen...

As a child, I was bossy.
I know this.
Now, maybe...okay, yes, I'm probably still bossy.

As a mom, I would say that I give Gage a lot of room to play, explore, etc. Some would say that he runs about, rules the roost, gets away with murder when Mommy's on duty....okay, my own mother would even tell you that...I'm not so much of a disciplinarian. I somehow rationalize his behavior, or justify it, thinking, "oh, he just wants to play with this for a little while"....

But, I've been working on that.
I have been working on sticking to my word when I say things like, "If you do that again, you are going to sit in Time Out."
And, I've been working on letting my No mean No.
It's HARD!

And yesterday, I used a phrase that I have never said before. A phrase that I just wasn't used to using because I was used to providing lengthy explanations as to why the answer was No....but yesterday, "Because I said so" snuck out. And it worked. I mean, he was still mad because he wanted to play outside but we needed to be inside...yada yada yada. But, he quickly got over it and we moved on.

So...um, how long does this whole "because I said so" thing work anyway????

Watch Out for Flying Golf Clubs

So, Gage, at the age of 2, can be described as an avid golfer.

"Keep your eye on the ball!"
"Don't like that putter."

He's so cute.

Despite the fact that he has a really nice set of golf clubs at Memaw & Poppa's house (they live on a golf course & he gets to play 3 days a week now that the weather is nice), and a metal Snoopy set here at the house---his favorite golf clubs are made of plastic & held together by tape.

So....on Friday evening, we're driving from Dallas into Garland, and Gage wanted his window down. All was well for a few minutes, until SSSSHHHHOOOOOOM! Out the window goes his favorite golf club. What a tough lesson to learn. It broke my heart that he was so upset. But truly---he's been told not to throw stuff out the window, and he had to learn this lesson the hard way. So, after we left Home Depot, we went back & drove the area, leaning forward searching for a bright colored plastic golf club. We found it---near the median of the road. We retrieved it. The whole way home, "Cars Just Runned Over My Golf Club!" It was barely held together by tape to begin with, so being run over a few times by cars didn't help anything. It's cracked in many many places, and nearly flat. Very sad.

So....I'll be scouring local dollar stores over the weekend looking for some cheap plastic,but perfect golf clubs.

And the next time you are in Dallas---watch out for flying golf clubs.

This Made Me Chuckle Today....

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he
knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think
you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only
time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'My God, are you the
stripper from my bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with
all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?'
She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.'

New Game...

So, Gage has a new game.
It started with me trying to balance a marshmallow on my nose.
Then....he ate it off my nose.
Then we balanced a marshmallow on his nose...


...and then I ate it off his nose!


It's amazing what little crazy things he finds so entertaining.
:)

Stop.

If one more person asks me if I am pregnant.....I am probably going to lose my cool.

And, "Why are you wearing that shirt? Are you trying to hide a pregnant belly?"

What I want to say: "How the FUCK is that any of YOUR business?"

The answer is "No", I am not pregnant.
And No, I don't think it would be the perfect time for me to be pregnant...
But, in light of everything that is going on in my family that affects our future fertility---I don't want to have to say 500 times a week that I am not pregnant.

And, there is more to that really....
In all that has been going on with Hubby & his man bits....I'm a bit scared about getting pregnant again.
After losing Masyn, I'm a bit scared about getting pregnant again.

This issue just crawls all over me on many levels.
First of all, it makes me feel fat. Yes, I've put on about 5 pounds recently. I'm not very tall, so on me---5 pounds must really show if everyone around me asks if I'm pregnant.

I don't know. I'm just pissy about this right now. ...and I have been for a couple of weeks now.

1990.

So....when I was about...ummmmm....twelve years old....getting Glamour Shots was the in-thing to do.

Me in my school picture when I was twelve:


And the Glamour Shot... well, let me warn you: I look...um....like I am from Texas with that BIG HAIR! (Okay...I am from Texas, but I've never intentionally styled my hair that big other than these Glamour Shots. And then---it wasn't me. They did that...the "glamour stylists"....)

Are y'all ready for a laugh????


Laugh all you want. I thought I was hot stuff.

And just for fun today....come up with your best captions please!
It reminds me of a very Nancy Grace type pose....

But you guys---humor me. What caption goes with that Glamour Shot???

Melissa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This just in:
Melissa & Colin are engaged!
Don't know the details yet....other than, I was supposed to go to STL for her 30th, but given our situation of Hubby being down & out for so long, and the general upset that has been going on in Gage's schedule...it just didn't seem right for me to take a solo road trip right now....so, of course, I missed out on the proposal, seeing the ring, seeing Melissa's face, and her 30th birthday.
BUT---I suppose it's not about me, right?

Anyway, I'm super excited for them! Colin----you are so lucky.


:)
So, um...Melissa, this makes turning 30 not seem so bad, right?

Questions...

There are lots of things that I don't know....

Like....

On this whole freaking planet, is there a weedkiller that I can put on my lawn that won't kill St.Augustine grass?

What is Spencer Pratt's job?

What's on the inside of a golf ball?

If a diamond can cut through glass, what's strong enough to cut through a diamond?

Okay...those are some of the random thoughts in my head today. Feel free to offer answers to all of those questions.

One Day Last Week...

...Or Maybe The Week Before...
I may have lost track of time.

Anyway.... One day last week, my mother in law was here managing my husband's care, and I had yardwork & a 2 year old to tend to....

How it all ended:

Gage & Me in a water sprinkler...
Why yes, those are my pajamas & galoshes. Why yes, I had worn them all day. Some days are like that.

I did a lot of hard work....and I was sooooo pleased with myself!

I planted Sweet Broom.
And, as I was digging my last hole, my mother in law said, "Laine, did you read this tag?" To which I replied, "Well, I saw that it would tolerate full sun. That & the fact that they smelled so good made me buy them." And then she informed me that the tag indicates that they should be planted four to five feet apart because they grow to be four to five feet tall. FUCK. Oh well. I left them. They aren't four feet tall yet...and if the truly do all grow that large then I will just trim them routinely & they'll look like one big giant bush. Some day.

Got my patio hanging baskets re-lined & filled....


And the day ended perfectly after Gage & I played in the sprinkler...


Never mind that I had to go to 3 different stores to ultimately buy the wrong size hanging basket liners (couldn't find the right size ANYWHERE), ran out of garden weedstop fabric spikes, and then ran out of mulch. I still got plenty done that day, and had fun with my buddy.

Another thing that I did was fix another hanging basket for the front porch b/c I got this super-cute hanging basket holder. Of course, I forgot to take a picture...but, oh well. It makes me happy. I tried to find a pic of the basket holder online at Home Depot...but, no such luck. I'll save it for another day...

More Blasts From the Past...

Okay, so....my child doesn't look a THING like me, does he????

Me...when I was about Two....


Gage at Two....


***********************************

Today....the truth about today: I am not having a very good day, but I don't really have the time or the inclination to blog about it right now. I'll do it later...or tomorrow...or another day.

Woke up during the night & just cried.
Now, I'm sleepy....and I am ready to get busy at work to just be distracted & let this day fly by.

But...looking at pics of my little buddy is always a good pick-me-up!

....The same, but different....

My mom and me when I was younger....


Gage and me...when I was older....



I've got more blasts from the past in store for you guys....

My mom's kindergarten picture...


My kindergarten picture...


:)