Pics from the past few days....

Gage came to visit Daddy in the hospital...



He was pretty intimidated at first, but in the end...he was very glad to see Daddy! He even tried to take his temperature.



And of course, there was some nose-picking with Darnin'.


As a side note...have I ever told the story of why he calls her "Darnin'"???? Well....everytime we would part ways with her after a visit, she would stand outside of the car & blow kisses. She would say, "Bye, Darling!" One night, Gage & I were rocking, and we were practicing blowing kisses. He started saying, "Bye, Darnin'." He associated my mom with "darling" & blowing kisses. He's called her "Darnin" ever since. It's so cute!

Like I said...my mom stayed with us for a few days to help with Gage, and give my mother in law a break & a chance to visit with Hubby....AAAAND....she helped me clean house, and put the Christmas stuff back up in the attic (it has been boxed up & sitting in various locations around the house for a while now, but Hubby hasn't felt well enough to help me load it up in the attic). Anyway...it was a BIG help!
THANKS DARNIN!





...Now, take a moment to look in his crib. LOOK AT HOW MUCH STUFF IS IN THERE. He insists on it. And, if you remove one item when he's nowhere around, you can bet that come bedtime, he will notice that it is missing. So, parents of kiddos younger than mine---BEWARE. Set limits now on what they can & cannot take into the crib. Because now, he INSISTS on sleeping with AAAAALLLLLLL of those things!

There's No Place Like Home...

We're home now.
We got released last night.
We were able to keep our appointments today, so that was good!

Last night, got home....got Gage to bed....my mom's staying with us for a few days. Gage woke up from a noise, or bad dream...something. So, I took him to bed with me. He kicked all night long, and woke up at the butt-crack of dawn, but that's perfectly OKAY.
:)

Hubby's head was hurting, so he drank some coffee...and then stayed up late late late watching American Gangster with my mom.

Got up early....Kept our appointments today. We've been cleared by the neurologist for surgery. But now, in light of the GI bleed, we have to be cleared by the GI doc before we can move forward on surgery. So....that's where we are. And, we're looking tentatively at surgery next week.
Still, just waiting on the all-clear from the GI docs, and the blood levels to increase.

...and being home is so great.
We were busy most of the day, but when we have been home, life has been good. I made seafood stew for dinner. It was yummy to the tummy. And, I am picking Eddie up from the kennel tomorrow. That will be great too. We'll all be back to normal!

One thing after another...after another....

Well....so, the verdict is: Hubby has torn his esophagus.

Of course, everyone (including us) wants to know what caused this? We may never know, but it could be two different things: (1) about 12 weeks ago when Hubby was w/ this one doctor, he was told to take X amount of Advil per day for 2 weeks to manage the pain associated w/ his diagnosis at that time.....well, come to find out: in SOME people, large amounts of NSAIDS over that period of time can cause GI bleeding & ulcers. (2) Hubby was put on a drug recently by Doctor #2. One of the side effects: vomiting. So, Hubby took the drug for 3 days & just had to deal with vomiting. If the drug had worked---the vomiting would have been worth it! But, after 3 days, there was no improvement with the drug, plus he had the vomiting, so the doc took him off that drug.
And, so---here we are.
According to the GI doctor, this tear is most likely caused by vomiting, but both scenarios above may have contributed to this happening.

UGH.

So, when they scoped him yesterday, they were able to see that they'd stopped the bleeding. They're giving him meds to help it heal, and it's supposed to be fully healed in about 10 days w/ the help of this medicine.



Apparently---tearing your esophagus HURTS A LOT. So, he's been on morphine for the pain. BUT: his blood pressure has been low from the blood loss. Then, he was getting morphine every 4 hours. That wasn't really lasting 4 hours, so they increased it to every 2 hours. Last night, his blood pressure was just too low, and they had to hold off on any pain meds until they were able to get his blood pressure back up. So, FINALLY early this morning his blood pressure was 103 over something, and they gave him some more pain medicine.

We have been looking at a possible blood transfusion because his Hematocrit level was 3 points away from needing one (so we were told). Since we've gotten here it's just been getting lower & lower....but, we're waiting on his morning labs to come back.

The GI doc says that he is waiting on Hubby's labs to stabilize, and that we can go home when the numbers (1) stop falling & stay the same for at least lab draws in a row, or (2) turn around & start increasing.

So for now, that's where we are.

Gage's heart is broken. Just completely broken.

When all of the blood vomit started at home, Gage was just right there behind Hubby when he started puking everywhere. So, he saw all that & got COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT! Then, we had to rush off to the hospital, and he was left in the arms of my mother in law. Certainly he loves her & is with her quite a bit----but everything was moving so quickly & everything was so out of the norm, that he felt that, you know?
He came up to the hospital yesterday for a visit. He just wanted to stay in my lap. It was wonderful & heart breaking at the same time.
So, when it was time to leave, he kissed me several times, and left the room without crying. My mother in law said that he cried for me the WHOLE WAY back to their house. She said that he would pause while crying & say, "I sorry I crying. I just MISS HER."

Ughhhh....so, you know when she told me that over the phone, I was crying too!
Bless his heart.
I called this morning to check on him, and wanted to talk to him on the phone. That was NOT a good idea, and it started all of the crying over again. I could hear him crying that he wanted me, and he wanted to go to "Mommy's house." [it's so weired that he doesn't just call it home...it's always been "mommy's house". ]
Anyway....I'm just missin' him, and he's missing me.

Everything is better when Gage & I are together...

"Better Together"...

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

MMM it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together....

I just miss my buddy. I can't wait for this grand adventure to be over & to get back home to playing soccer in the backyard, and playing TWUCKS on the living room floor...and him saying, "I wanna take a baff"....I'm just ready to get back to normal, and to hear him say, "Snuggle me!" in that sweet little grumpy way that he does....

Anyway....this whole "tear in the esophagus" may be a real set back for us...
Hubby is needing prostate & bladder surgery. We have been in the final stages of preparing for that. Tomorrow at 9am we are supposed to be meeting with the Neurosurgeon to get the "all-clear" for surgery. Tomorrow at 10:30 we are supposed to start everything with the fertility clinic since they intend to cut out part of Hubby's prostate. And finally, we were supposed to meet with the Urologist to finalize a date/time & details for the surgery.

Now....all this.
Will we be able to keep tomorrow's appointments? They are located here at this hospital, but will we be able to go? I don't know.
Will this be a set-back in doing the other surgery? I don't know.

It's odd to think that this episode is completely unrelated to the urology stuff...and maybe they're linked because of the meds he's been on for the urology stuff.... But seriously----this is just one thing after another, after another, after another. UGH.

But I appreciate all the prayers & well wishes from you guys.
We're hanging in here!

Blogging from the Hospital....

Well...I had no more than hit "submit post" on that last medical update before the Hubby came out of the bathroom from vomiting blood.

Not good.

He threw up several times before we made it out of the house & into the ER nearby.

Got him here to the hospital. He's got a GI Bleed. He's failed his "TILT" tests, meaning that every time he stands up, his heart rate is going down & so is his blood pressure. So far, his labs are coming back within normal limits, but they will be redrawn around 5am. The doctors said that it is normal for the first labs drawn to be completely normal, and then go down after a few hours from the onset of symptoms. Hmmm...

He's got an NG tube (up his nose, down his throat, into his stomach) to empty the blood from his stomach. He's been given anti-nausea meds, and a bit for pain, but they had to hold off on the pain meds for a while because his blood pressure was dropping pretty low. Now, they've given him fluids & his pressure is back up, but on the lower side of normal. The admitting doctor says that it will be okay to give him more for pain finally....

So, we're admitted, but waiting on our bed assignment. They'll be doing the esophagogastroduodenoscopy (a scope to look at his esophagus, stomach, & duodenum) "first thing in the morning". The doctor is not sure of the exact time yet, as tomorrow is Saturday....

I'll keep you all posted.
Thanks for all of the well wishes & prayers...

Update...

The MRIs came back negative.
We follow up with the neurosurgeon on Monday.
We have our first appointment with the fertility clinic on Monday.
We will set the date for surgery with Hubby's specialist next week.

Thank goodness the MRIs are negative! Wheeeeew.

Today....

Today, we were back at the hospital for Hubby to have some more tests. Today's goal: MRIs to rule out cysts or tumors in his spine.

So, picture this: he's getting ready for the MRI & some young thing is starting an IV on him.

Hubby: "You're not going to put air in my vein are you?"
Gal: [looking at Hubby like, "Gosh, I hope not!"] "No."
Hubby: "Well, how much air would it take to kill somebody?"
Gal: [looking at Hubby like, "WTF?"] "About 5 cc."
Hubby: "How big is that syringe?"

That girl thought he was so wacked out & weird. Goodness! He wasn't asking her to kill him! ....he was just morbidly curious....& afraid that she was...underqualified!

....Good times.
At least we had our laugh for the day...


What else was good & funny today?
Gage told me that he was "busy" & had "chores to do." He promptly pulled a chair up to the sink & began "washing" the dishes. After that, it dawned on him: WATER! So, he ran & got his Fireman hat from his 1st birthday party. Lately, he's been pointing out that his ride-on firetruck does NOT have a hose & does NOT have any water. So, when he was doing the dishes, he found the water, and just had to get his hat & pretend to put out fires in the sink. I was cooking & we had the radio going....good times. I snapped a few pics & will upload them soon.

:)

"Why you trippin', Boo?"

Well....today, Baby Gage took a spill. He tripped outside in the backyard on the cement. It was awful.

In fact, I am not sure if it was worse for him or for me.
I was down by the street on the other side of the fence. Hubby was sitting on the back porch while I was blowing & bagging leaves. I heard Gage screaming & crying over the sound of the blower, so I was running up to the fence while he was running down to the fence to get me. His little face was covered in blood. I couldn't exactly even see where the blood was coming from. It was in his mouth, around his teeth, going down his little chin where he'd spit it out...and it was smeared across his cheek up to his eye. So, I run around, open the gate & swoop him up, thinking that we would be headed to the Pediatrician's office or to the ER.
I look at him...and it's a cut on his lip going up off the lip & toward his cheek. It's bleeding A LOT.

So, I'm immediately on the phone with the pediatrician's office to see if they do liquid stitches in the office....

While I'm on the phone & my heart is racing & Gage is screaming, the Hubby cleaned off Gage's hands & face.

Suddenly....it didn't look so bad. In fact, it didn't even look stitch-worthy. In fact...it's ummmm....maybe a quarter of an inch long & not really deep.

Crisis averted.
And....while my brain was going 90 miles an hour & I'd say that I handled this "emergency" very well....it turned out to not really even be an emergency, and I totally over-reacted. Whatever. Hey, I'm just preparing myself for the real deal someday.

In the end---Gave him a popsicle, a bath & warm sippy of milk...then he took a nap.
What I overlooked: the scrape on his knee. That's okay. Hubby noticed it, and bandaged it all up for him. Gage has been showing us his "battle scar."

Unfortunately, naptime was short-lived because I guess he turned his head while sleeping & rubbed his face on his pillow or something...he woke up screaming & crying about his face hurting....

Poor guy. His lip is cut & his skin below his nose & on his chin are all red & scuffed up from the pavement.

:(

Like a sponge...

So, Gage soaks things up like a sponge. I mean, you look at your child, and this ever-expanding vocabulary, and you just get amazed at how much they grow and change and learn all the time.

On the flip-side...Gage said some things last night that completely took me by surprise. And, it wasn't all happy & cute... Now, he's 2 years & 5 months. He should not be talking about school shootings. He should NOT be afraid of going to school. (he doesn't yet go to school or daycare, but he will go to school SOME day!) Anyway, I guess with all of this in the media about the most recent school shooting, he's heard bits & pieces, and it has stuck with him. Last night he said something...I forget the wording verbatim...but it was something along the lines of "and he shot 'em with his gun at the school", "go to school and they just shoot me?" It was completely shocking & disturbing. He can't even grammatically construct a perfect sentence, and yet, he already knows about school shootings and that guns can kill people. [...or bullets can...or people who pull the trigger....let's not argue over that point of do guns kill people or do people kill people, mmmkay?]

So....I'm thinking that perhaps we don't need to watch the 5 & 6 o'clock news programs when he is up & about.

Nicole & Samai's Wedding!

The wedding took place in Nicole's Uncle's house in a historic area of Fort Worth...



The groom & bride...




Me & Vicki @ the wedding...


Nicole's Bouquet...


Wonderful reception at Joe T. Garcia's....


The cake was wonderful!


Just look at this 1950s cake topper!

Nicole's Wedding Day...

Today is my friend's Wedding Day....
She'll be married today @ 4pm!!!

Both of her parents have passed away. I can't imagine my wedding without my mom & dad. But, Nicole's strong, and she is as happy as can be with her fiance, Samai! They met in London, and they've both recently moved here to Dallas. (and I'm so happy they did!!!! I missed her when she was away!!!)

For Nicole...



"A Dozen Red Roses" by Tammy Graham

A dozen red roses
And a simple bouquet
Arrived at the church
On her wedding day

The bridesmaids gather 'round her
Last details done
But a dozen red roses
Who could they be from?

The moment was close now
The church filled with light
She stood like a picture
In a glow of white.
All her friends awaiting
The music softly playing
Yet, she reached for the roses
On the table where they lay.

Then from the roses
She picked up an envelope
Her hand was guided by her heart
And for every rose
A single teardrop fell
As she lifted her veil and slowly read the card:

"You're in your room sleeping
As I write these words
I know you won't read them
till years from now"

"God will call me home soon
I'll miss you're wedding day,
So your mom will keep
This note to send
With a rose bouquet"

"So take one of these roses
To hold in your hand
And I'll be beside you,

As Always,
Love Dad"

From Last Week....

Well, last week, we needed a break!
My friend & I took our little ones to Chuck E. Cheese for a few hours on 2/13 while hubby napped @ home.









It was a good day....


AAAAANNNNDDDD, on 2/7/8, the day before Damon's surgery, his best friend came in for a visit. He & his wife live in Atlanta. His name is Mark & we miss him soooooo much! We hope they move back to Texas soon....they're talking about it, so that's great!

Gage was soooooooooooo glad to see Mark. Mark got down on the floor & played rough-&-tumble with Gage. I've been trying my best, but I just end up bruised from the rough boy play.... And, with Damon being down-&-out, Gage was REALLY missing the guy-time!





What else???
Damon's been pretty pitiful lately.
I've got lots of pics of Gage & Daddy snuggling over the past few weeks....





More on the medical update later....
I lack the energy right now!

VD..........

I got my first homemade card from my son.
OMG.
It just made my heart melt.
...and he knows how much I like the color black....and green. So, my Valentine's card is black & green!
It's so perfectly MINE!

Not great....

Took Hubby back to the hospital for "the next test" today.
Not good. They couldn't do it b/c they couldn't even get the necessary equipment where it needs to go to tell us what we need to know.

We're waiting on the doc to call us back.
His office is closed on Thursdays b/c he does surgeries at Parkland on Thursdays.
We're supposed to meet with him SOMETIME tomorrow in his office to discuss our game plan.

After the no-go test today, we went to the fertility clinic to meet with a doctor there. Everyone there was so nice. We certainly learned a lot.

Gage is at the mother-in-law's now & is going to spend the night. No big Valentine's celebration planned---Hubby's spirits are waaaaaaaaaaay down, and we are both just SO BEAT DOWN by all of this.

2.14.8

Tuesday's Update...

Today I have been:
moody
overwhelmed
busy
frustrated
& even overjoyed at some of the things Gage has said to me...

For the most part, not a great day.
Drama & frustration over getting the next test scheduled.
Let's just say that there is a woman named Debbie some place who does NOT want to meet me face-to-face.

On the brighter side:
Gage "helped" cook dinner.
I saved about $75 in coupons & store sales at the grocery store.
I saved $26 in coupons at Walgreen's.
Gage had zero potty accidents yesterday.
Gage had....at least 3 today, but still, he was receptive to using his little potty.
And his newest trick at bedtime: "Um, no, I wanna talk. Let's just talk a while."
Nice try little one....
Okay...so it totally worked....whatever. I needed that at the end of today.

:)

Monday's Update...

Well....Hubby's still on Demerol.
It's not keeping him as "knocked out" as I'd hoped....
He's pretty loopy for about the first hour and a half....after that, he's right back to feeling everything.

Waited today to hear about the next test.
No such luck.
The doctor told us today that he would call over & see if they can't consider this case "urgent" & rush the scheduling...
We'll see....

So, for now...I have tomorrow & Wednesday off from work.
I plan to return on Thursday. I just have to.
I took Friday off...and today off....

We just need a plan!!!!

In the meantime....Gage was a holy terror over the weekend. I think he was just RELIEVED to come home & see Mommy & Daddy...but after that, he was going full-swing in "Operation Make Them Pay!" Today some of his little sweetness has returned...but yesterday was ROUGH. I'm glad we all survived it.

Tonight's Update...

Well...we're home.
We expected to get home around 1pm, but, no such luck. We got home this evening around 5 or 6.

Backup...Rewind....

Took Gage to Memaw's house around 6 this morning.
Ran by Starbucks & got a latte.
Came back to the house, and let the dog out, got Damon, rounded things up for the trip to the hospital.
Got there @ 7:15 as instructed. Ran into the doctor in the hallway; a little chit-chat, and then we had to check in.
Got checked in...labs drawn, EKG, x-rays.
Got into a room.
Waited..... And Damon's step-dad came up to be with us.
Damon fell asleep.
Then, they came & got him for surgery....we went to pre-surgical holding. Got his IV....met with the doctor....met with the anesthesiologist & surgery nurse.
They gave him the meds....and he drifted off as they wheeled him away.

Fast forward.....
Surgery's over....and he's in Recovery.
....an hour later....he's still in Recovery.
At this point, I've met with the physician, I've called some family members, I've even made a trip over to the dr's office to pick up a Rx (it wasn't ready yet, but whatever...)
So, I call to check on his status. I get a return call from his nurse in Recovery.
He's had a difficult time coming out of the anesthesia, and they were having a difficult time with pain control.
Also, the dr ordered additional CTs, so they had to take him down for the CT before bringing him back to his room.
FINALLY, around 3 he is back in the room, with a mega-headache. Here comes the pain medicine...and then comes the vomiting. Not fun.
When things settled down, he & I both fell asleep for a bit.
When he was finally able to hold down some solid food, we got to come home!

So, Damon's on Demerol.
I've explained to him a few times about what was found, what was not found, & what our next steps will be.
He's not exactly comfortable with me detailing things here on the internet, so I'm being pretty vague.
All in all: some good news, followed by some frustration.
We are still not 100% sure of the actual problem.
According to the doctor...He knew that we were dealing with "apples & oranges", but when he got in there, he found a "whole fruit salad!", representing a bunch of different problems, but none that single handedly explain the symptoms/main problem.
So, we have some answers, but not THE answer. We're at least one step closer to THE answer.

Doc should have the CT results by Monday.
We put our request in this morning for an outpatient procedure that will be the next step in finding some answers. We should hear back on Monday to see when the new test will be...and the doc said that they may be able to do it on Monday. Plus, we've been instructed to f/u with him on Monday...

Now...for a surgical funny:
Scene: Around 6am this morning...here at our house.
Hubby: What are you doing?
Me: Putting on make-up.
Hubby: Why?
Me: In case you don't make it; I want to look cute when I'm shopping for your replacement!
[okay, in MY DEFENSE, he is aware of my warp/sick/twisted sense of humor, and he was not the least bit offended.]
Hubby: Of course you are.

Thanks you guys for all of the well wishes.
We're very tired of this limbo/not knowing...but, we're certain that we're getting closer.

...and my goal for the weekend: keep him doped up on Demerol so that he can't feel a thing...and hopefully by Monday he'll be feeling somewhat better! We're basically going to get through this weekend, and our life is pretty much scheduled up until Monday. We won't really know anything new or different until Monday.

Random Things that I like...

The following are items for sale...at various places...that I like.
Say....if money were no object, and I could just buy whatever I wanted...I've found these items, & I like them...and would buy them.
:)

Candelabra from www.sundancecatalog.com


Mirror with duck feet (I first saw it in the Anthropologie store, but didn't buy it...now I wish I had! Found it online at amazon.com, and can't find it at Anthropolgie!)


From www.zgallerie.com, I like these little wire musicians...



Large Terrarium... www.terrariums.com


...um, someday, I'd really like a heated floor in my bathroom. That's right---I want these radiant heat floor heaters installed under the tile. Oh, a gal can dream....


Someday I want a TV cabinet w/ an electronic lift for the TV...so that it can be PUT AWAY at times... www.comcore21.com


...okay...this has been fun internet browsing.
:)
....and random wanting!

Update for Today....

Had another dr's appt. today for hubby.
Not good.
No new answers.
Exploratory/diagnostic surgery scheduled for Friday.
I just pray that we know more after that!!!


In the meantime---my child is an entertaining MESS!

Hubby Update...

Had a dr's appt. today for a 2nd opinion.
Again: Not Lymphoma.
Not Prostate Cancer.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Thank goodness.
Thanks for all the well wishes & prayers!

My Plate Is Full...

Well, my husband has been sick.
Very sick.
And, this is not particularly the best forum to discuss his health.
But, I can & will say this: all signs point to him NOT having Lymphoma, and we're busy w/ doctors appointments, and bloodwork, and trips to the pharmacy to try this drug or that drug.

I applied today for a Leave of Absence from School.

We have an appt. tomorrow w/ a physician for a 2nd opinion prior to any surgical interventions. Plus we have to get all of his records from his PCP, specialist, the hospital...Then, we go back to the treating physician on Wednesday.

I'm just really....spread thin right now.
If my blogging slacks----well, blame my husband!

Tag...

The Mission
-Share five random/weird things about myself.
-Share five places that I want to see or see again.
-Tag five random people and link to them and let them know they've been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Okay...I'm not tagging anyone else...but, I will complete this b/c I was tagged!
If you want to be tagged---well, then consider yourself tagged!

Five Random Things About Me:
1. I'm afraid of the dark.
2. I don't eat or drink anything blue.
3. I don't like large bodies of water...or any water that I can't see through.
4. I smell my child's dirty socks & shoes when I take them off of his little feet.
5. I suck at sweeping. I don't mind doing it---I just don't do it well. So, to offset that little characteristic---I sweep often.

Five Places That I Want to See Again:
1. Cairo, Egypt. Specifically, the Sphinx, Giza, and Sakara Pyramids. But this time, when I go back, I WILL go into the pyramids...maybe.
2. Puerto Rico. Went there for my college graduation trip, and I loved it. I want to go back.
3. New Orleans....used to live there. Haven't been back since Hurricane Katrina.
4. Savannah, GA. Went there in the Spring for Megan's wedding....Loved it. I hope to visit that town again.
5. Washington,D.C. We went to the Holocaust Museum one year for my mom's birthday gift. We flew in that morning, had lunch in D.C., went to the museum, and then flew back home that evening. So far, that's the only time I've been there. I'd like to go back & stay a little longer! But, it was a really cool birthday gift, don't you think??

Gage gets a golf cart...

Gage's big Christmas gift from Hubby's parents was a bit delayed...to be given to him at a time when all the grandparents were present.

So...he finally got his own Golf Cart!!!

Pics coming soon!