One thing after another...after another....

Well....so, the verdict is: Hubby has torn his esophagus.

Of course, everyone (including us) wants to know what caused this? We may never know, but it could be two different things: (1) about 12 weeks ago when Hubby was w/ this one doctor, he was told to take X amount of Advil per day for 2 weeks to manage the pain associated w/ his diagnosis at that time.....well, come to find out: in SOME people, large amounts of NSAIDS over that period of time can cause GI bleeding & ulcers. (2) Hubby was put on a drug recently by Doctor #2. One of the side effects: vomiting. So, Hubby took the drug for 3 days & just had to deal with vomiting. If the drug had worked---the vomiting would have been worth it! But, after 3 days, there was no improvement with the drug, plus he had the vomiting, so the doc took him off that drug.
And, so---here we are.
According to the GI doctor, this tear is most likely caused by vomiting, but both scenarios above may have contributed to this happening.

UGH.

So, when they scoped him yesterday, they were able to see that they'd stopped the bleeding. They're giving him meds to help it heal, and it's supposed to be fully healed in about 10 days w/ the help of this medicine.



Apparently---tearing your esophagus HURTS A LOT. So, he's been on morphine for the pain. BUT: his blood pressure has been low from the blood loss. Then, he was getting morphine every 4 hours. That wasn't really lasting 4 hours, so they increased it to every 2 hours. Last night, his blood pressure was just too low, and they had to hold off on any pain meds until they were able to get his blood pressure back up. So, FINALLY early this morning his blood pressure was 103 over something, and they gave him some more pain medicine.

We have been looking at a possible blood transfusion because his Hematocrit level was 3 points away from needing one (so we were told). Since we've gotten here it's just been getting lower & lower....but, we're waiting on his morning labs to come back.

The GI doc says that he is waiting on Hubby's labs to stabilize, and that we can go home when the numbers (1) stop falling & stay the same for at least lab draws in a row, or (2) turn around & start increasing.

So for now, that's where we are.

Gage's heart is broken. Just completely broken.

When all of the blood vomit started at home, Gage was just right there behind Hubby when he started puking everywhere. So, he saw all that & got COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT! Then, we had to rush off to the hospital, and he was left in the arms of my mother in law. Certainly he loves her & is with her quite a bit----but everything was moving so quickly & everything was so out of the norm, that he felt that, you know?
He came up to the hospital yesterday for a visit. He just wanted to stay in my lap. It was wonderful & heart breaking at the same time.
So, when it was time to leave, he kissed me several times, and left the room without crying. My mother in law said that he cried for me the WHOLE WAY back to their house. She said that he would pause while crying & say, "I sorry I crying. I just MISS HER."

Ughhhh....so, you know when she told me that over the phone, I was crying too!
Bless his heart.
I called this morning to check on him, and wanted to talk to him on the phone. That was NOT a good idea, and it started all of the crying over again. I could hear him crying that he wanted me, and he wanted to go to "Mommy's house." [it's so weired that he doesn't just call it home...it's always been "mommy's house". ]
Anyway....I'm just missin' him, and he's missing me.

Everything is better when Gage & I are together...

"Better Together"...

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

MMM it's always better when we're together
Yeah, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well, it's always better when we're together
Yeah, it's always better when we're together....

I just miss my buddy. I can't wait for this grand adventure to be over & to get back home to playing soccer in the backyard, and playing TWUCKS on the living room floor...and him saying, "I wanna take a baff"....I'm just ready to get back to normal, and to hear him say, "Snuggle me!" in that sweet little grumpy way that he does....

Anyway....this whole "tear in the esophagus" may be a real set back for us...
Hubby is needing prostate & bladder surgery. We have been in the final stages of preparing for that. Tomorrow at 9am we are supposed to be meeting with the Neurosurgeon to get the "all-clear" for surgery. Tomorrow at 10:30 we are supposed to start everything with the fertility clinic since they intend to cut out part of Hubby's prostate. And finally, we were supposed to meet with the Urologist to finalize a date/time & details for the surgery.

Now....all this.
Will we be able to keep tomorrow's appointments? They are located here at this hospital, but will we be able to go? I don't know.
Will this be a set-back in doing the other surgery? I don't know.

It's odd to think that this episode is completely unrelated to the urology stuff...and maybe they're linked because of the meds he's been on for the urology stuff.... But seriously----this is just one thing after another, after another, after another. UGH.

But I appreciate all the prayers & well wishes from you guys.
We're hanging in here!