Hello, vodka....

So, some days as a mother are just easier than others. Some days your plans go perfectly.

Other days, your creative or genius ideas kick you in the ass and beat you upside the head.

Like this BRIGHT idea I had:
....oh, she neeeeeds her own little shopping cart.
....she likes to pretend like Mommy, so this will be a great idea. Let's take it with us to the grocery store. What could go wrong?

It was cute for a hot minute. 

 Then she decided she needed ALL of the Fruit Rolls in the produce section.

The above photo shows you---I still thought it was darling, right? There I am, snapping pictures, and "oh, isn't she just divine?" 
Around the floral department things REALLY went down hill.  She just abandoned her cart in the at the end of one aisle and took off running. Oh, did I just leave my purse and cart on aisle 14 to chase a toddler on aisle 15? Yes, yes I did. Did I, like an un-anticipating-this-to-be-a-nightmare-IDIOT get the little cart for myself (you know---the one that DOESN'T have a child seat and is for the "I'm-just-getting-a-few-things shopper)? So there I stood with a screaming, kicking, super-fun toddler back on aisle wherever-I-was, and had no big cart with which to contain her!

The only good news from this whole event:
1) A dear friend/fellow mom came to my rescue after apparently watching my great plan go awry, and got me a big, regular cart while I held my thrashing and screaming toddler, and
2) I learned my lesson.

 ...such a cute idea, right?
WRONG.

Another fun Mommy moment:

Discovering the answer to the "what happened to all of the clothes," and "what's that all over the dryer" questions.
It was a crayola, my friends. A crayola.

Well, it's Tuesday.

Well, it's Tuesday.
That's about all I have to say about that.

Yesterday: t-ball practice after work. It got cancelled due to the condition of the field.

Tomorrow: Chemo 5!!!

This weekend: Hubby's birthday, Gage's first t-ball game, t-ball pics (I think...).

In not-so-great-news:
*We owe in taxes. Just got word from the accountant. Good times.

*Mom's cancer/chemo is stealing holidays: it's taken Christmas, and now that we're one week off of the original schedule, it'll be stealing Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day & 4th of July. Stupid cancer.

*Boat's in the shop. Should be out by the 16th. Got something called 'boat blisters,' which, quite frankly, sounds made up. {Dammit, Arlene. We've got boat blisters!}

*Got to buy a boat lift so we can prevent the previously referenced 'boat blisters.'

Gotta run. Gotta get to work!

Chemo 4: Done.

Why, yes, it is in poor taste.
But, whatever.
Got your attention, didn't it???

wink*wink.

Mom update:
Chemo 4 was increased from the 30% strength that she got in Chemo 3.
Chemo 4 was not quite the breeze that Chemo 3 was.

Remember when she had Chemo 1 & 2?
Remember when they knocked her down, made her sooooo sick & damn near killed her? Well, that's the genetic marker hypersensitivity to the 5-Fu thing. So, they titrated it down to 30%, and now they are slowly increasing it to get it into a therapeutic range. How do they know if it's in the right range? Well, these super-expensive blood tests that are mailed to Salt Lake City with the geneticists looking at them.

Speaking of therapeutic ranges....Mom's been on coumadin (blood thinner) to keep her blood from getting too thick & clotting. Well, even when the dose was doubled, she wasn't staying in therapeutic range. Dr.W even had Mom take her actual Rx coumadin PILLS to the pharmacist to make absolutely certain that they were coumadin and not some random fluke mistake that she was taking something else. Yes, she's been taking coumadin...and now, she's getting Lovenox injections at home too, administered by PawPaw. What troopers!!!!
Doin' what they can to keep the blood clots at bay.

Mom's current worst fear: she'll accidentally cut herself shaving & bleed to death from a teeny-tiny-little cut in the shower, and she'll be found down, in the shower, pale & naked.
I say: valid fear. Give up shaving, opening envelopes, handling knifes, or paper for that matter, avoid dart boards, ill-fitting shoes, thumb-tacks... Stay home. Eat only with a spoon. Pad the walls. Stay in bed.
I'm just sayin'....

In other good news: My mamasita, the Scarf Style Icon that she is, has been asked, along with Dammit Arlene, to teach others about the scarf styling & what not through the cancer center there where she lives.
How cool & flattering is that!???

She's also considering walking in their town's Relay for Life, but unfortunately, it will be on a post-chemo weekend, so I am not sure it's going to work out for her this year.
We'll just have to see what we can do about that...

That's my Mamasita Update.
4 Down.
We're 1/3 of the way there.

"You Aint Got No Hair!"

Dammit-Arlene is AMAZING Arlene.
Mom's hair was falling out. It was BAD. It made her sick. It was just awful. And so Arlene, mom's neighbor & hair stylist got the call. It was time.
So, she came over, and they did it.
They shaved her head.
They sat in the laundry room, bawled, & shaved her head.
And then what did they do?
PawPaw, Arlene, & my Aunt Wanda sat around drinking wine {or some such spirit} while they tried on 18 million styles of scarves that Arlene brought over.



My silly mom....


Arlene is an AMAZING friend with an AMAZING heart.
In going through all of this, my mom is just so blessed.
PawPaw is wonderful to her.
My aunts are wonderful.
My mom's friends are wonderful.
My friends are wonderful, and continue to check on her & pray for her.
Every single day someone sends her a card, or flowers, or calls to check on her. She truly is so very blessed.

Mom, on her first day to work with no hair...
I think she looks fabulous!


The reality is that in a 2 week span, Mom gets about 3 good days when she can go into work for a little bit. Maybe this will get better over time...we just don't know yet.

...Now there are many that would likely shave their heads in solidarity & support for something like this. My mom is one of those who would say, "What a waste! I don't have hair right now & it's not my choice! You could have hair & you give it up to match me?! Idiot." So, to answer the question that people have ACTUALLY asked me---no, I will not be shaving my head.
.....although....getting up each morning & throwing on a wig instead of washing hair, conditioning hair, blowdrying hair, & styling hair...well, that sounds pretty freakin' appealing, doesn't it!? Until the 100+ temperatures of Summer come along & you've got a kind-of-itchy-keep-the-heat-&-sweat-in-wig on your head...
{And by that, Mom, I mean---Summer's going to be great. Don't you worry about it!}
xoxoxoxo

I saw Mom without hair for the first time today. I didn't expect to have a freak out melt down. But I did. It was just...unexpected. I expected to be stoic & brave & just roll with it. I didn't. It was kind of like when they wheeled her back into her room at the hospital after surgery. I didn't expect to feel so scared and sad, but suddenly I did. I work in a hospital. I see sick people every day. I see cancer patients every day. I see bald people every day. It's just different when it's suddenly so real, and right there, and it's YOUR mom...not just some patient going through something with some diagnosis that makes you feel for them, but it doesn't really make you ache for them...
And so, I just have to get used to it. And I will.

The Good Stuff....

Okay...so I failed to name the products that Dammit Arlene got us into...

THE GOOD STUFF: Tuel (or 2L) Skin Care; it's OMG-wonderful.
www.tuelskincare.com
For Texas, the website only lists one place to get it:
Tyler
Arlene Gregg
903.944.8157

The shampoo & conditioner: I've posted about them before. They are WONDERFUL for every-once-in-a-while use if you have a very dry scalp like me. If you have a normal head then they are probably wonderful all the time. Mom loves them for all the time, but I need something a bit more nourishing to the scalp.
The shampoo & conditioner I'm talking about---Alterna's Hair Caviar.
What I actually prefer for my scalp: Tigi Oatmeal & Honey {mmmm....and it smells like cake batter!}

Okay...those are my product updates.
:)

Who is Arlene???

...so, I'm a big fan of saying, "Dammit Arlene!"
But---who is Arlene?
I know---you're all just dying to know.

Arlene gets blamed for a lot of things. In fact, Arlene gets blamed for just about everything that goes wrong in my world, though she's rarely (if ever) to blame...

Arlene is my mom's next door neighbor.

She's fun & creative & I was going to describe her as "kitschy," but after looking up the definition of the word---well, I found that my understanding of kitschy was synonymous with ecclectic, but in reality---it doesn't mean that at all.

Vocab word of the day, kitsch: something that appeals to popular or lowbrow taste and is often of poor quality.
{thank you, www.m-w.com}

So...kitschy is a fun word, but not the right word for Arlene.

Arlene is...a balance between a free spirit & a sense of responsibility.
...she likes order, and believes in fairies.
She's just...ecclectic & fun, & creative.

So, why is she always to blame?
Ahhh...that's the question.

It started a while ago when she got me turned on to this pricey shampoo that I didn't need to buy, but wanted to buy because it felt so freakin' good.
"Dammit Arlene" came out of that.
"Dammit Arlene! You know all about the great stuff, so you share it with us and it's so good...then we have to have it...."
You see where I'm going with this.
If she just hadn't shared the shampoo & conditioner, then I'd never had known what a great thing I was missing every time I lathered/rinsed/repeated with some inferior product.

....and the face wash system that she got my mom using...don't even go there!
It's so delicious. {not like 'eat it' delicious, but rather 'my-face-feels-so-freakin'-good-i-don't-want-to-put-on-makeup' delicious}
Mamasita can guarantee each & every one of you that if I've gone missing while at her house---I'm upstairs in her bathroom washing my face with her good stuff.
Dammit Arlene! You just haaaaaad to share the good stuff, didn't you?! Now I want some, and I don't have any of it!

So there you have it folks---Arlene is my mama's neighbor & she's like a blame-sponge. I blame her for everything.
...well, not really....but the thick Southern accented phrase, "Dammit Arlene!" just flies right out of my mouth sometimes before I can help it.

Dammit Arlene!

Dammit Arlene!
Gage is clearly dealing in weapons & precious stones.
We need an intervention to get him walking the straight & narrow again.
Gage---you don't have to resort to this type of life. Monopoly money will do just fine for now. While the weapons dealing may be a fun and exciting alternative, doing the 'right thing' is rarely easy, and perhaps not as thrilling....but...but...it calms your mommy's heart.
Now empty the contents of the register into this bag, and nobody will get hurt!

Dammit Arlene, and Dammit Direct TV

So, it's past bedtime around here, and I'm up blogging.
why??
Because my frick-frackin' laptop overheated (what? you shouldn't use it for like 5 consecutive [or more] hours while it's propped on your down comforter???) and I really started to get the vibe that it was about to fritz out on me. So, I hurried & emailed myself an attachment of my paper. Schlepped my stuff upstairs to Gage's computer, which luckily has the internet, but doesn't have the same Word stuff installed, and I need all kinds of product keys & codes to adequately configure it....yada, yada, freakin' yada.
Point is: I was chugging coke to vamp myself up for a few more hours of quiet homework time. And now---I'm taking a break, and hoping that I'm giving my little laptop a little time to cool itself down so I can get back to work soon.

So, in the meantime.....I sent a little statement to the Customer Service people at Direct TV {after all, THEY sent ME a customer service response card to fill out. It's only appropriate for me to tell them how I really feel}.
Here are my questions relating to the service at the Casa de Lainey-Paney:

1) I've had service for about a week now. Why have I already gotten a bill for a months worth of service?
2) A bill for $102? What happened to the nice price they quoted by phone that was in the $60s? When I said, "does that include the 4 receivers?" I was told "YES" not "Well, there's a $5 charge for each of those, so no, your bill will actually go up by twenty bucks right there."

So far, the only thing I've liked about Direct TV: (1) the installation guy was nice, respectful (covered his shoes to walk into our new house!), and taught me how to use the product. I appreciated that. (2) The fact that I now get the Sprout channel for my son.
THAT's IT!

......I miss AT&T U-verse. I knew this whole "livin' in the sticks" thing was going to pose a few problems....

Update!!!!

Okay, so I understand that I have failed to update the blog appropriately----and for that, I apologize.

I've lived in my new house for a week now.
I'm still living out of boxes.
I haven't had a single commute to or from work that has taken less than 75 minutes.

This past week: glad to report that though the Novacain I had from my dental work and that lasted more than 7 hours FINALLY wore off. I woke up with actual feeling back to the right side of my face again.
Sadly I report: it's actually BRUISED on the outside of my cheek. I knew it was all tender, but I didn't know that it was bruised. OUCH.

This past week: I came home one day to a RED dog. I just KNEW that he jacked up the carpet at home. Luckily---I was wrong. It's a long story about what he got into---but let me break it down to say this: he got into some red icing. He was RED.
Sadly I report: Hubby's first instinct was to shave the dog, and that's exactly what he did. According to PawPaw, my little Ranger looks like CATFISH! And that's what we've been calling him: "CatFish".

Today: Hubby's sister & neice & dad came into town. They all went out to eat at SaltGrass tonight.
Sadly I report: I had to go to work, so I missed out.
hmph.

This past week: My new bedding came in & it ROCKS!
Sadly I report: the throw pillows that came with the set are sucky, but whatever---I tossed them onto the window seat & haven't thought much about them.

And in other news---I've got mega-homework to work on this weekend. Darnin' & PawPaw spent the night with us last night. First official sleepover guests.
:)
Took a 2.5 hour nap today that was lovely and just reminded me that occasionally, I love a good nap.

That's about all I know for now.
I've been even busier than usual lately....but come on, May!
I CANNOT wait to be done with school.

Updates, and the Misadventures...of Us.

First & foremost: we sold the house today. We signed the paperwork today, and the $$ transfer should go through in the morning. Good times.

And in other news: we had the walk-through with the builder on our new house.
Would you like to know how that went?
Here's a hint:


Why---yes, that is Clark Griswold from Christmas Vacation.
Why---yes, that picture is from the attic scene.
Why---yes, our very own Hubby---much like Clark Griswold, put his foot through the attic floor/dining room ceiling.
Good times...
Just prior to that, Hubby was the nit-pickiest guy to "walk through" with....after his "incident," suddenly---all the things he pointed out seemed so very minor.
He just proved my statement: "You're the reason why we can't have anything NICE!"

Anyhow....now that we've sold our house, if something bad happens to the house closing that we are hoping & praying will happen on Tuesday---we're going to be freakin' homeless.
But I tell you something: we're moving SOMEWHERE. I'm NOT unpacking all this stuff!

That's all for now.
:)

Belated Valentine's Day Post....

To my husband on Valentine's Day: I got you 1/2 a house! Happy Valentine's Day!
....what?
...You got me the same thing????

Copy-cat.
You NEVER do anything original...or spontaneous...or creative anymore.

Half-a-house.
I sooooooo already did that!

*********************
And in other news---we're trying to close on the houses before the March 1st payment is due on our current house. Can't hate us for that!?

*********************
We finally got to return home to heat & electricity yesterday.
It was not without casualty, though.
Let's just say----we've moved onto to Teddy #2. {Teddy...the fish...remember?}
Well---on Friday, I was fretting because we left the fish behind. Hubby assured me that the fish would be fine.
Checked on Teddy Saturday when we went home to check on the heat/electricity status.
It's never a good thing when you have to break the ice at the top of the fish bowl before you flush your kiddo's fish.
And by that---I mean that Teddy was taken to the pet-store to ride out the storm. And, when he came back home last night---his colors were magically a little different. We hear that snow storms can do that to fish.
....you heard that too, right????
The other casualty of the storm: about $300 worth of food.

Here's a trivia question for you: what do a single serving fruit cup & a bag of onions have in common?
Answer {I can't type it upside down, or I would!}: they were the only 2 things left in the fridge after the Great Power Outage of 2010. Really. Everything in the fridge was warm....everything in the freezer(s) was melted & mush. And, no, we DIDN'T think to empty that stuff out when we checked on our house on Saturday because HELLO! There was ice forming in the fish bowl. It was 32 degrees or LESS in our house. It was flippin' cold. And, the inside of the freezer was all icy & everything was still frozen on Saturday morning when we checked on it.
But---by Sunday afternoon: not so much. Big moooooshy mess. Mmmmmm.

Okay---that's it.
I gotta get to work now.....
:)

Today. No Heat. No Work. More Snow.

Well, we woke up at 2:30 in the morning to the Dallas Fire Department being at our house.
Why?
Down power line in our front yard.
There were sparks.
There were flames.
There was smoke.
There was NO HEAT & NO ELECTRICITY in the Casa de Lainey-Paney.

At 2:45 in the morning, I was calling in to work.

We couldn't leave the house.
We couldn't go in our front yard.
We couldn't watch the news.

Hubby moved the guest bed mattress into the middle of the living room floor, and we all bunked in there---keeping warm by the fire.
Pics from the backyard this morning:
The tricycle....










FINALLY---late this morning we got to leave. The fire department was at our house ALL NIGHT LONG.
But, this morning---with no heat, no coffee, no way to warm Gage's milk (yes, he still likes his milk warm, and I oblige him....), and no cartoons----I was fairly certain that our house may just implode.
We packed our bags & headed to the in-law's.

Pics from driving in:



And then the fun REALLY started....
The in-laws live on a golf course in a golf community.
Everyone was out w/ their golf carts---getting stuck in the snow, but riding around. Playing on the hills....We had so much fun! For.....about 30 minutes....and then we were all wet & tired...










So, we still have no idea if we have electricity back at our house or not.
I have no idea if it was just our house or if more were affected... We'll just have to wait & see, I suppose.

What I reeeeeeeeally want to do is drive out to the new house & see how it looks all covered in snow! But....I won't....

snow....Snow....and more SNOW!

Mother Nature, have you forgotten that this is Texas?

So, this morning, when we woke up, it was snowing....
Pics from this morning:


This evening:


I left work @ 3:30.
I got HOME at 6:40.
My commute was HORRIBLE {needless to say...}

But, we had fun tonight...






Hubby & Gage made a monster-snowman.


And all was well...until Ranger brought these snow-balls in....WTF? We're clearly not used to this whole "snow" thing...



If the weather is not better in the morning, there's just no way that I can go in to work. It was AWFUL driving home tonight, and...I'm just sayin'........
I feel a snow day coming on.

2/9/10: I got a ticket. "What do you mean I didn't stop?"

I would just like to say, that if my car stops---that's a stop.
This whole "3 second thing"....what thah....

I got pulled over by a cop on foot.
Really?
Really.

Alleged Violation: failure to stop "good enough."
Well----if I am a "not-good-enough-stopper," why would you (Mr.Ticket-Master) step in front of my moving car, and hold your jazz hand straight forward signaling me to stop? You already think that I don't stop well, so you place yourself in harm's way?
How much sense does that make?

Needless to say---I got a ticket.
And of course, Gage was with me.
He was soooooooo freaked out that we were going to jail.
{Where he came up with this, I don't know.}
I assured him that we were not going to jail...
So, I get my ticket from Mr.Ticket-Master {who, I will say was very, very nice about the whole incident}, and Gage instantly wants to see the ticket. So, I give it to him. Afterall---I don't want it.

A second or two later, what comes out of my child's mouth?
"Can I take it to show-and-tell!!!????"

No, Gage.
No, you cannot.

Ahhhh....Tuesday----thank goodness it's over!

Family-Photo-Schmoto. Eat it up.

So, Sunday morning---we had our family photo shoot, right?

Well....let me say a few things first.
I worked late the night before. Got home around 1am. We were up until about 3am b/c I can't just immediately go to sleep when I get home, and we watched some TV, and next thing we know---it's 3 o'clock in the freakin' morning.

We wanted Ranger in our picture, so we had to have the 10am slot. Fine. Booked it. Thought nothing of the fact that I was working the night before.

Well, on Saturday I didn't bathe the dog, which was my task, and my turn to do it. So, I got my behind out of bed at 7am to bathe the dog & get myself ready.

The outfit that I planned to wear for family photos: Hubby vetoed. And, really...he was right b/c we all wanted to be kind of coordinated, and they really don't have anything to complement my top....and it's not really all about me, now is it? So, I muted it down & planned a different outfit based off what I'd selected for Gage this morning.

Which brings us to about 8am when he begins the fit about his clothing selection that he had absolutely no say about. Deadline to leave the house: 9:15am. I had to get ready, Hubby had to get ready, and I had to fight with the little drama-king about whether or not he looked "cute." Then we had to bicker about his hair, and the tan socks vs. white socks, and the fact that there was no place in our family photo for his light-up-Spider-Man shoes.

FINALLY---we were all ready to go. Ranger was ready, we were all ready. I purposefully didn't feed Ranger in the morning b/c of the car-sick tendencies this little shit...I mean, shih tzu has... So, he gets outside to go potty one last time, and WHAT did he get into? I don't know but suddenly his little mouth & face smelled just awful. Ran into the bathroom---cleaned it off with a baby wipe & sprayed him down with a bottle of Country Apple Bath & Body Works spray that I found in the bathroom cabinet.

And---we were off. Only leaving 15 minutes late.
Have I mentioned that the whole morning was an ordeal yet?

So---we're about 10 minutes into the trip & Ranger pukes all over the front floor mat in Hubby's car. IT SMELLED LIKE.....well, it was awful. For the love---can we turn off the floor-heaters?

Get there, get inside, and what does everyone want to do? Cuddle my dog's face. His little I-just-puked-up-God-knows-what puke face. I took him to the bathroom & washed his little face off, so he was doing much better.

We got some GREAT pics. Well, I think so, anyway....
They'll be ready in 2-3 weeks.
Hubby was happy to report that we didn't spend $800 on pictures! Woohoooo!

I will say this though---although the family picture morning resulted in some great shots---I won't quickly do it again. For real. It was just toooooo hectic this morning.

And so, until our family photos come in & I am able to share those with you---I'll leave you with these, from AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com
Enjoy.











Enjoy?