Life Is Just So Daily

Saturday, February 12, 2011

"You Aint Got No Hair!"

Dammit-Arlene is AMAZING Arlene.
Mom's hair was falling out. It was BAD. It made her sick. It was just awful. And so Arlene, mom's neighbor & hair stylist got the call. It was time.
So, she came over, and they did it.
They shaved her head.
They sat in the laundry room, bawled, & shaved her head.
And then what did they do?
PawPaw, Arlene, & my Aunt Wanda sat around drinking wine {or some such spirit} while they tried on 18 million styles of scarves that Arlene brought over.

My silly mom....

Arlene is an AMAZING friend with an AMAZING heart.
In going through all of this, my mom is just so blessed.
PawPaw is wonderful to her.
My aunts are wonderful.
My mom's friends are wonderful.
My friends are wonderful, and continue to check on her & pray for her.
Every single day someone sends her a card, or flowers, or calls to check on her. She truly is so very blessed.

Mom, on her first day to work with no hair...
I think she looks fabulous!

The reality is that in a 2 week span, Mom gets about 3 good days when she can go into work for a little bit. Maybe this will get better over time...we just don't know yet.

...Now there are many that would likely shave their heads in solidarity & support for something like this. My mom is one of those who would say, "What a waste! I don't have hair right now & it's not my choice! You could have hair & you give it up to match me?! Idiot." So, to answer the question that people have ACTUALLY asked me---no, I will not be shaving my head.
.....although....getting up each morning & throwing on a wig instead of washing hair, conditioning hair, blowdrying hair, & styling hair...well, that sounds pretty freakin' appealing, doesn't it!? Until the 100+ temperatures of Summer come along & you've got a kind-of-itchy-keep-the-heat-&-sweat-in-wig on your head...
{And by that, Mom, I mean---Summer's going to be great. Don't you worry about it!}

I saw Mom without hair for the first time today. I didn't expect to have a freak out melt down. But I did. It was just...unexpected. I expected to be stoic & brave & just roll with it. I didn't. It was kind of like when they wheeled her back into her room at the hospital after surgery. I didn't expect to feel so scared and sad, but suddenly I did. I work in a hospital. I see sick people every day. I see cancer patients every day. I see bald people every day. It's just different when it's suddenly so real, and right there, and it's YOUR mom...not just some patient going through something with some diagnosis that makes you feel for them, but it doesn't really make you ache for them...
And so, I just have to get used to it. And I will.

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At 9:01 AM , Blogger kim-d said...

Awwww, Lainey...I'm just so sorry you, Darnin' and the rest of your family have to go through this. I know I've been there, and I would not wish the situation on anybody. But...

With hair, without hair, with a wig, with a scarf, with makeup, without...your Mom is incredibly beautiful. I have always thought that she looks so much like Sela Ward. Gorgeous. There is just no doubt that Darnin' will get through this with as much class and grace as is possible, and there will come a time when it is all just a memory. I pray for this, and I believe this.

As for your meltdown? You're entitled. It's your Mom, and you're entitled. But bear in mind that this is coming from the person who had a meltdown or two of her own when in the midst of dealing with the "c" beast. Said meltdowns may or may not have involved torrential tears and stomping of the feet. Yeah. I was 44 at the time. Not my proudest moment, but I was entitled, too...because it was the love of my life. You, too, are in my thoughts and prayers...all the time. It's just SO hard.

Congrats on your new job...I just got a new job, too (finally)!!! Go us!!!

At 9:44 AM , Blogger Zephra said...

She looks amazing in the scarfs though!

At 10:58 AM , Blogger TwinsanityMom - Janet said...

Even without hair she is still one hot mamasita! {{hugs}}

At 2:48 PM , Blogger Rikki said...

My heart just breaks reading this. She is just so beautiful! I love you and I am still praying. Call me if you want....I MISS YOU!!!

At 7:14 PM , Blogger Kate said...

You're both in my thoughts and prayers. What a difficult time. And truly, your Mamasita is a hottie even in a scarf. Hugs.

At 7:23 PM , Blogger @NYCPatty said...

She looks amazing! I love all her styles.

Remember what you told me when my dad was sick. You told me it was no normal to feel what I was going through. I know those moments when you lose your breath from utter fear but she's here and she's fighting and you will both get through this. Love you my dear friend..

At 6:32 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

She's so beautiful... What a blessing to have a daughter like you, a good husband, friends and neighbors, and a whole online community that cares about her.

At 3:22 PM , Blogger Stephanie and Jeff Stovall said...

Just caught up on the blog posts. I am a HUGE fan of wig #1 too!! I can't believe how real it looks. It looks so good and sassy. Wigs have come a long way!

Thanks for updating so often about your mom's situation. I remember when my dad lost his hair, of course I was 5, but I still remember vividly. More traumatic for a woman than a man, but still very difficult for the kids as well.

I pray that your mom starts feeling better and has more days filled with energy!!

(Oh, and I have also had alopecia areata! Nothing like having your dermatologist inject a steroid solution into your scalp to help the hair grow back faster. Ugh.)

At 4:05 PM , Blogger mpotter said...

she looks fantastic!
i really hope she gets to feeling more fantastic SOON.

all the best for all of you.....

At 10:56 AM , Blogger Just Jiff said...

Lainey, I've been MIA for a while now and just read this. I cried a little reading this and it made me so sad for all of you. But I'm going to focus on the good right now: Your mom is GORGEOUS ...she can rock the no hair look like no one else! I mean, it takes true beauty to go without hair and your mom is beyond beautiful.

And I know completely what you mean when you say that being around patients all day is one thing, but it hitting so close to home is completely different.

*HUGS* to you and your mom.

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