Who is Arlene???

...so, I'm a big fan of saying, "Dammit Arlene!"
But---who is Arlene?
I know---you're all just dying to know.

Arlene gets blamed for a lot of things. In fact, Arlene gets blamed for just about everything that goes wrong in my world, though she's rarely (if ever) to blame...

Arlene is my mom's next door neighbor.

She's fun & creative & I was going to describe her as "kitschy," but after looking up the definition of the word---well, I found that my understanding of kitschy was synonymous with ecclectic, but in reality---it doesn't mean that at all.

Vocab word of the day, kitsch: something that appeals to popular or lowbrow taste and is often of poor quality.
{thank you, www.m-w.com}

So...kitschy is a fun word, but not the right word for Arlene.

Arlene is...a balance between a free spirit & a sense of responsibility.
...she likes order, and believes in fairies.
She's just...ecclectic & fun, & creative.

So, why is she always to blame?
Ahhh...that's the question.

It started a while ago when she got me turned on to this pricey shampoo that I didn't need to buy, but wanted to buy because it felt so freakin' good.
"Dammit Arlene" came out of that.
"Dammit Arlene! You know all about the great stuff, so you share it with us and it's so good...then we have to have it...."
You see where I'm going with this.
If she just hadn't shared the shampoo & conditioner, then I'd never had known what a great thing I was missing every time I lathered/rinsed/repeated with some inferior product.

....and the face wash system that she got my mom using...don't even go there!
It's so delicious. {not like 'eat it' delicious, but rather 'my-face-feels-so-freakin'-good-i-don't-want-to-put-on-makeup' delicious}
Mamasita can guarantee each & every one of you that if I've gone missing while at her house---I'm upstairs in her bathroom washing my face with her good stuff.
Dammit Arlene! You just haaaaaad to share the good stuff, didn't you?! Now I want some, and I don't have any of it!

So there you have it folks---Arlene is my mama's neighbor & she's like a blame-sponge. I blame her for everything.
...well, not really....but the thick Southern accented phrase, "Dammit Arlene!" just flies right out of my mouth sometimes before I can help it.