36 Weeks....& Other Stuff....

Okay, so today, I'm officially 36 weeks pregnant.
I feel every bit of 36 weeks pregnant, and I've decided that the third-trimester-pregnant-version of myself is not the best version of me....

Weekly Update:

How far along? 36 weeks exactly

Size of Baby: TheBump.com indicates that the baby is the size of a honeydew melon. {Oh, honeydew please come out!} WhatToExpect.com reads, "focus on your baby, who is now about six pounds and 20 inches long, with soft bones and cartilage to allow a safer journey through the exit door. Most of her systems (from circulatory to musculoskeletal) are ready for prime time, though her digestion system — which has done only practice runs so far — will kick into gear as she takes her first suckle at the breast or bottle."
Really? 6 pounds already? I don't know about all that. I mean, maaaaybe, and Lord knows I feel like this baby is huge, but I don't know that she's 6 pounds already. I'm just saying....

Baby Milestones: According to BabyCenter.com, "She's shedding most of the downy covering of hair that covered her body as well as the vernix caseosa, the waxy substance that covered and protected her skin during her nine-month amniotic bath. Your baby swallows both of these substances, along with other secretions, resulting in a blackish mixture, called meconium, will form the contents of her first bowel movement.At the end of this week, your baby will be considered full-term." {Awwwww.....Hubby, she's making her first bowel movement for you! I distinctly remember you changing soooooo many diapers in the hospital when Gage was born. It was so cute and wonderful, and then when it was my turn, it was post-circumcision, and I was soooo nervous and scared....and he peed all over my face and up the wall, and I was clueless! I'm counting on you, Hubby!}

Maternity Clothes: Yes, but most of the tops are getting too short in the front. My saving grace? These long, inexpensive tank tops from Old Navy. They aren't maternity, just long. I bought 5-7 of them! I've got a few colors to choose from..... But, then I'm caught in the situation of having to layer clothes, and I've been so hot lately, so that's not super appealing to me as I get dressed daily. Hubby's tees are covering me quite nicely, though I'm sure it's a complete turn off to see little ol' me completely filling out his tee. (And by 'little,' I mean, short. Clearly I'm no longer little....)

Gender: Baby Girl on the way....

Belly Button In/Out: Neither. Flat.

Stretch Marks: Yes, on my upper hips.

Labor Signs: Inconsistent Braxton Hicks contractions. And I can tell that she's moving down lower because well.... Well, sometimes when I walk it feels like she's going to come right out!

Movement: Yes, and it's soooo much fun to watch my belly now contort and get uneven, and then watch that foot or feet puuuuuush out on my right side. That's the one thing I'm going to miss the most about this pregnancy. Everything else can go, but that, I'll miss that.

Sleep: Ugh. I just want to sleep on my belly! Is that so wrong???? I want to lift this belly off and set it to the side for just one night. I'd like to be able to turn from right to left without 5-6 grunty tries before I actually get rolled over. Getting up to use the bathroom frequently, and I'm waaaaay over that, but then I am usually thirsty at the same time, so I drink. I just perpetuate my own misery. I know it.

Cravings/Aversions: I still want unhealthy food all the time.... Like this...

(Yes, that's all for me. I had a craving....and I totally got a salad to make myself feel better about loading all of that CRAP food into my body. Yes, I totally went to Hooters by myself in the middle of the day because I HAD to HAVE Hooters hot wings....mild, all drums, with dressing...)

Symptoms: The feet swelling is getting crazy. Crazy to the point that we went out with friends the other evening. I wore a pair of flip flops that I haven't worn in a while, but they are flip flops, so they seemed rather accommodating to the big fat freaking feet I have. By the time we ended dinner, I couldn't even stand to have those shoes on my feet to walk to the car. I walked through the parking lot barefoot because THAT was more comfortable than squeezing my very round feet into those flip flops.... I'll have to do a separate swollen feet post at some point.

Feeling: Over it, and anxious. I'm grateful that I've gotten pregnant, and we've made it this far. ....but, I'm over it. I'm over the 3rd trimester normal pregnancy body changes and swelling, and just all of the unpleasantries. Couple that with the irrational fears that I have... I know about cord entanglement and cord accidents and then stillbirths with no other symptoms.... I've worked cases like that, and I'm just....until I hold this little girl in my arms, I won't feel like we're out of the woods, you know?  Mentally, it doesn't make sense for me to want her out of me preterm, but I think, we've gotten this far, let's just get her out to make sure she's safe and then I will feel like everything is okay! I know that's not in her best interest since everything seems to be going perfectly with her. I just can't help but feel that way. It's my anxiety that I'm putting on the whole situation...

What I Miss: Being comfortable. Ever.

What I am Looking Forward To: Our little girl being born, finally!!!!

Next Appointment: May 2nd.

What I haven't blogged about: Gage's "Big Brother Class." Well, that's what I called it. It was actually the "Sibling Class" offered at the hospital where we intend to deliver. Cost: $20. Time: 1 hour, or 1.5 hours. Worth it: No, not really.

Complaint 1: The craft for the big brothers & sisters was the first activity. There weren't any special craft supplies for the big brothers, but there were for the big sisters. For the big brothers, Gage got a Halloween paper plate, and he got to do his craft on the back of that. If you think my child didn't notice that the girls' papers looked like cool framed certificates, you're mistaken.

Complaint 2: The "babies" that the kiddos each got to use during class were like abstract babies. They were faceless, and reminded me more of bean-bags that baby dolls. Seriously, they were like bean-bags shaped like babies, and they'd been well used over the years, you could tell. All of these other kids were picking up their babies, and holding them all nicely and neatly. My son? He pinched at the skin and held it up by what would be the babies nipples so that he could announce to me how filthy he thought the dolls were. {Gage, you are soooooo your father's child!} Gage seriously didn't want to touch the filthy baby: 50% because it was dirty in his opinion, and 50% because it was a baby doll.

Complaint 3: Changing diapers. I thought that including this for a bunch of little kids learning how to be a big brother or sister was a waste, but I didn't feel strongly against it. All of the kids in the class that are going to be siblings are way too young to be changing diapers. Gage was the oldest in the class. Anyway.... Gage certainly would voice this portion as his #1 complaint. In fact, when the kids were circled on the floor with their babies, the instructor indicated that we'd be diapering next. Gage stood up, looked at me (and the other parents), and said, "Can we go now?" He was sooooo not having it. Turns out, he can't swaddle for sh*t, but he can change a diaper.... He didn't WANT to, but he kind of rocked it....

Complaint 4: We got a brief tour of L&D, the waiting room, the mother/baby unit....and the biggest part of that was a pitch to pay extra $$ for the upgraded rooms. Now, granted, I totally want the suite with the mini fridge and a table and chairs in the room, and better sleeping accommodations for Hubby..... On the other hand, I felt like that was the point of the class....like I was being pitched a time-share somewhere! Free room and 3 day stay if you come and listen to this 1 hour presentation... $20 sibling class if you come and listen to this 20 minute room comparison pitch???  {Dammit....they got me!}

Anyway.....Gage hated it. I still snapped a few pictures....

They concluded the class with a video....

Gage hated that too.
But, alas, he completed the class. Got his certificate of participation, and we got to leave. Not soon enough, he'd tell you! He doesn't like hospitals. He doesn't like medicine and blood, and any of the things that drew me to work in the hospital environment...the drama, the trauma, the rush.... He'll pass. You couple that environment with him getting a new sibling----it's all crappy in his mind!

He was happy that we got to go out to lunch afterward, though.... Just me and him. That's exactly how he wanted it to be....

That's about all for today's post. I'll post more later!

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle...

Gage had an assignment at school to recycle things from around your home or trash, and make something out of it. Luckily, the directions did not read, "make something functional out of it."

So....Gage made a remote control robot from stuff around the house. I helped him brainstorm with items around here and we came up with a drawing/plan. Daddy helped with the actual assembly of the robot, as that was Gage's request... "No, I want Daddy to do it!" {Where is this coming from!? *sniff*sniff*}

Pics....

The final product:

...and my husband would like the world to know that he doesn't spend ALL of his time in white undershirts. He feels that perhaps he is disproportionately represented here as one who forever wears his undies around the house. To note, he has nice clothes. He wears them to work. Then he comes home and gets comfortable. Just so y'all know....

:)

Shower #3!

So, Shower #3 was a total surprise to me.
I only have one photo of me, and one photo of one decoration. Why? Because I had no idea and didn't take my camera!

...and RIKKI WAS THERE! Can you believe I didn't get a pic of me & Rikki. {My mom is going to be so disappointed just reading that....}

So, where was the shower: where I used to work full time. Now, I'm just PRN at two area hospitals, and one where I used to work in the ER for like 10 years threw me a surprise shower the last time I picked up a shift. So unexpected & nice!

Now, in the pic below, don't judge me: we were in a break room and I was hotter than hot, so I took off my jacket....

Rejected Reality.

I had a super sucky day.

Took Gage to school.
Ran to the cleaners to drop off Hubby's clothes.
Went to the grocery store to knock out grocery shopping before my feet got too swollen.
Had Braxton Hicks contractions all through the store....heck, I had them all through the night and the evening before, likely from dehydration b/c my ketones were up again. I was trying to drink a lot of water!

....anyway.
Got home.
Bag ripped.
This happened:

By that point, all I wanted to do was sit down and start drinking my Gatorade.
I snapped the above pic, and emailed my mom: "If you need me, I'll be sitting on my a$$ somewhere in my house, pretending this didn't just happen."

I headed to the living room, absolutely putting off the task of cleaning the spaghetti sauce off the floor, and plopped down on the couch.
...and then I felt something cold and wet on my neck and in my hair. What in the woooorld????
OH GAG!
The dog freaking puked on the couch cushion and I didn't pay attention in my pity-party state, and I plopped down in it!
Yeah...I'm not going to post the picture here....
I emailed it to my mom and told her that I REJECT THIS REALITY. 

The realization that my suburban princess life was actually quite disgusting and not nearly as glamorous as it seemed....well, that was just getting the best of me.

Suburban princess? Me?
Somebody's got to do it....

Sadly these days, I'm realizing that 'polishing my tiara' is more like scrubbing grout on your hands and knees at a million months pregnant, and scrubbing dog vomit off the couch.

{"Hello, Vodka? It's Mommy calling...."....It's just a matter of time. It's just a matter of time...}

Baby Products You Don't Need....

So, I recently read this article/list on yahoo.com, about Baby Items You Don't Need....

http://news.yahoo.com/8-products-baby-doesnt-190321489.html

So, in a nutshell, here are my opinions, b/c on some of these, I disagree!
The list:
1. Diaper Genie (or any other diaper disposal system for that matter)
2. Baby Shoes
3. Baby Laundry Detergent
4. Crib Accessories
5. Double Stroller
6. Baby Sized Food Processor
7. Oversized Diaper Bag
8. Video Baby Monitor

*****

Okay, so here are my thoughts:
1. We had a diaper disposal system when we had Gage. Used it. It was soooooo gross to change! So gross. So, this time, I'm trying a different kind that has better reviews. We'll see.... But, I like the idea of having a place there in the nursery to dispose of the diaper and not carrying my clean baby and a dirty diaper to the garage big trash can to toss. I'm just saying....

2. Baby shoes.... Yeah, so they aren't necessary, but they are soooooo cute! And at times, you know, they really complete an outfit. Sometimes you just really can't resist.

3. We use detergent that's free of dyes and scents, and all that jazz because Gage has super sensitive skin. So, we don't have to make any changes in that department, but I think that other families do. You don't want all those dyes and perfumes on your new baby! I'm not all in favor of "baby detergent," but I think using a milder soap to wash the blankets and bedding and baby clothes is a good idea...

4. Crib accessories? Yeah....I don't have much of an opinion on this. We have a pretty bare crib. No bumpers....

5. Double stroller: they put that this is not necessary on their list? Well, okay, it's not necessary if you've got a singleton coming....or two that are super spaced apart in age, like mine. But, I can just imagine that if I had twins or two little ones, I'd want a double stroller. Imagine your two year old running off and you've got to chase him/her, but then you have to leave the stroller and the new baby. What do you do???? Now, I'm clearly not 'in the know,' with regard to those specific situations, but I can imagine I'd want to have a stroller to accommodate both of them. I'd rather push little kids in a stroller than chase them all about in public...

6. Baby sized food processor: Ohhhh, my husband is sooooo going to laugh that this is on the list because I wanted one so bad, and I actually got two at my first shower! He thinks this is the dumbest waste of space and money. Me? I disagree! I am actually excited to make baby food! The point in the article is that your food processor will work just as well, and these create smaller portions. My point: I don't have a food processor, so I need a baby food maker! My husband's point: you don't like cooking, so why do you think you'll like doing this, especially with a baby on your hip??? The answer: I don't know, but I'm going to try it!

7. Oversized diaper bag: I'm sorry, but I don't ever recall a moment where I have said or thought, "Golly, I wish this diaper bag were smaller." That's just crazy to me. If you want to run out on a short errand or short trip to the park, you grab a diaper & a small wipes container, and you just go.... Nobody says that you have to take the diaper bag everywhere you go.... But hey, that one time that you just run up the road to the park with your friends....that's when your kid will walk up to you covered in a substance that looks like brownie batter {head to toe, hands included}, and you'll learn that the muffins your friend shared with your son were FiberOne muffins {Shit-uffins, as they are now known....}. And you know what will happen? You'll sit there with your 2 wipes, 1 diaper, and only source of water being the playground drinking fountain....just wishin' you had that big ol' full diaper bag! {Hey, I'm just sayin'.....}

8. Video baby monitor: Are you kidding me? THIS is on the list???? We didn't have one with Gage, but I wish we had. You put your baby/child down for a nap. Sure, the room may get quiet, but that doesn't me that they are asleep. I would have been able to better calculate nap times if I'd had the video monitor. Oh, and what's worse??? When it gets quiet in there, so you sloooooowwwwly turn the doorknob and open the door, just to make sure.....and up pops a little head who thinks naptime is over. A video monitor would eliminate those "Why the hell did I just open this door" moments. My friend Susan's video monitor was the first one I'd actually seen in use. It was like baby crack. Little M was down for a nap, and I could barely look up from the little portable screen during conversation because I was just glued to watching him sleep. I think video monitors for the nursery rock, and I just can't believe that they put them on the list.

Okay....so that's my $0.02 on the article....

Let me provide you with a small sampling of baby items that I think are stupid, or impractical, or...well, I just wouldn't have them....

1. The Tummy Tub

 Does it look comfortable to bend over like that to bathe the baby? It doesn't to me. The pitching points of this product: it's popular in Europe. It's non-toxic plastic. It keeps the baby warm if you fill the water up to the baby's shoulders. ....something about it's center of gravity to keep from tipping over easily.
What's not a selling feature to me? The fact that when I googled pics for this product, images like this come up and they TOTALLY FREAK ME OUT!

Auuuuuugh!
It looks like the baby's head is under water, but then you look again and realize it isn't. Whatever. I'm not going there. I have no intention of spending $45 on a bucket to wash my baby in. If I want to wash my baby in a bucket, I'll go to the garage and find something suitable. {Though, I can't imagine in a million years that I will ever decide to do that...}

2. Baby Bangs
Yes, this is just crazy. CRAZY. Baby hair pieces so that your little girl doesn't look bald or bald-ish....

3. Baby heels. As in, high-heels. This is just stupid.

{Hey, Hubby, that baby food maker isn't looking so dumb after all, now is it!?}

4. Sniffle Buddies

Riiiiiight..... Because teaching your kid to wipe his boogers on his wrist, and then later breaking that habit when you introduce tissue is such a good idea.... If he's old enough to understand where to wipe his boogers, he's old enough to grab a Kleenex. I'm just saying....

5. Outlet Covers.
In general, I'm a fan of babyproofing the home, and covering outlets... But not like this.

Seriously. Babies are going to be drawn to cool, bright colors that likely stick out against your wall paint/outlet color. Duh!!!!! I just think that no, this is not a good idea.... Call me crazy....

Okay, so that's the end of my list for now.
My brain hurts.

35 Weeks...

How far along? 35 Weeks (on Tuesday, 4/23)

Size of Baby:  From whattoexpect.com, "Your baby is standing tall (so to speak) this week at about 20 inches and continues her steady weight gain (she’s about 5.5 pounds). While she won't get much longer, she will continue to pack on the pounds — including large amounts of baby fat — right up 'til delivery day. Something else that's moving at a mind-boggling pace these day: fetal brain development! There’s a lot going on inside that tiny head, which is, by the way, still soft to allow an easier exit through the birth canal."

But....from thebump.com, the baby is the size of a coconut. Gotta say----that doesn't feel right.... 

Baby Milestones:  According to babycenter.com, "The kidneys are fully developed now, and her liver can process some waste products. Most of her basic physical development is now complete — she'll spend the next few weeks putting on weight." {You & me both, baby..... I look forward to that....}

Maternity Clothes: Not quite cutting it these days. This belly of mine is hanging out of the bottom of most of my shirts! It's sooooo crazy. I've stocked up on some longer Old Navy tanks to layer with my clothes so that I'm not ALWAYS flashing the belly at everyone....

Gender:  Been told multiple times that it's a girl.... I hope it's true because the room and clothes are geared for a girl!

Belly Button In/Out: Still in, but getting flatter.

Feeling: Better than I was. I woke up in the middle of the night Sunday night, at 2am to be exact, and just started throwing up. It was awful. I was throwing up off & on until 4am. Finally went back to sleep. Went to the doctor on Monday. Likely food poisoning. UGH. What did I have for dinner Sunday night? Cheerios. I doubt I got a bad batch of Cheerios.... So, who knows what caused it??? But, I have to say that by 7am that morning, I was keeping water down, and I kept down some soup before I ever even went to the doctor. I had Zofran on hand, but oh my gosh, the side effects are less than desirable. "Why didn't you go ahead and take some? It's perfectly safe during pregnancy." I didn't go ahead and take it because I was mentally weighing the vomiting spell which may pass vs. the side effects of Zofran, and trying to decide if it was worth it. Ultimately, I was told to take the Zofran. I did. And I took Prilosec which I will now be taking daily instead of 'as needed.' I also get to test my urine now for ketones because I was positive for ketones this morning at the dr's appointment. My Monday was spent catching up on sleep, drinking room temp Gatorade, taking Zofran, and testing my urine. Oh, and I took a Prilosec. The good news: after all the Gatorade I've had, my urine ketones fall in the range now between "negative" and "trace." Yay for rehydration!
{What are ketones? What is she talking about? From www.babycenter.com: "Ketones are produced when the body starts breaking down stored or ingested fat for energy. This can happen when you're not getting enough carbohydrates (your body's usual source of energy).If you're suffering from severe nausea and vomiting or you've lost weight, your practitioner may check your urine for ketones. If your ketone reading is high and you can't keep any food or liquid down, you may need intravenous fluids and medication. If ketones are found in combination with sugar, it could be a sign of diabetes.}

Best Moment this Week:  Hands down, it was my Mamasita coming to the rescue. She helped me in the nursery. We got the curtains hung. She emptied the whole room and then we reorganized the closet, and then we put things back in the room. It's soooo awesome to have it more organized, and I feel like I can move on to super-cleaning the rest of the house. Namely: our bedroom. Why? Because I want it to be super clean and organized before the bassinet is all set up and ready. I want to switch sides of the bed with Hubby so that I can be on the side with the bassinet. If I put the bassinet on my current side, it will interfere with the bathroom doors, and I just don't want all that.... So, anyway....those are my plans.

Wanna see some pics of the nursery while we're still in progress???
Here I am at work....

And here are some of the more finished, but the nursery's not quite finished pics....

Above the changing table, Hubby thinks it would be perfect for a TV. He's kind of right because the TV hookups are on that wall behind the dresser, but I just don't think we need a TV in there just yet.... So, I'm scoping out some mirrors to hang there.

Okay, so see the blue tape on the floor? That's the outline of the bookshelf dimensions. The bookshelf that is on back order for now.... And, just an FYI, I was tempted to take the blue tape up the wall to the 61 inches tall that bookshelf stands....but I refrained. In reality, since the bookshelf is on back order until August, the earliest her little nursery would really see it is September. So, I will likely take the tape up and store all of the bookshelf intended items under the crib until them...because the closet is full.
:)
See where the strollers are parked? That's where the rocker is going!

Here's the rocker. Except, ours is going to be white on white....AND, it's coming this FRIDAY! {Or at least it's supposed to....you know, we've been down that road before with the crib, so we'll see....but Friday is the plan.}

I still need to get a few things for the nursery and add all of the finishing touches, but for the most part, it's done! Yaaaay!

What I Miss: Seriously? I miss so many things at this point it's practically unreal.... In this very moment, I miss holding my son in my lap in any type of comfortable manner. I miss rolling over in bed. I miss sleeping through the night, though I won't experience that for quite some time.... I miss moving quickly. I miss hopping in and out of the car. I miss being able to do a full day of anything. I miss wearing cute shoes. Now it's basically, "Which flip flops look better with this?" Why? Because going out in public in my house shoes is just not something I'm ready to do.... or plan to do.... ever. I miss being able to tie my own shoes. I miss wearing rings on my fingers. I miss blowdrying my hair. (Seriously, if I stand through a shower, then I don't have the energy to then stand for the length of time it takes to blowdry my hair, so if I'm going to plan on having straight hair, I have to plan it at least 24 hours in advance because it will be an all day event to shower, shave my legs, and then blowdry my hair.) Oh, there are soooo many things that I miss.....

What I am Looking Forward To: The delivery of the rocker, the delivery of this baby girl! Mostly, I think I'm ready to have all of the nursery done, all of my exchanges/returns done, the house totally clean and the bassinet ready to roll. Oh! You know what else??? I found that I was light on burp cloths, so I ordered some cute ones off Zulily, AAAANNNNDDDD, they had my gDiapers on there for Earth Day! Yaaaaay!!!!! I ordered this:

Not everyone seems on board with the gDiaper trial that I intend to do.... Here's my plan: recover from the c-section. During that time, use disposables. I'm thinking we'll use disposables primarily through size 1. So, I've only gotten myself gDiapers in size M. They are cloth "gPants", like an cloth diaper. Then, they have a waterproof liner/pouch. You then can opt for cloth inner liners, or disposable inner liners. The disposable inner liners are supposed to be flushable, but I'm not brave enough to go there. I'm not trying to clog our whole system and have Hubby get mad at me! But, the disposable inner liners are smaller than traditional disposable diapers, and they are biodegradable, so that just makes me feel like I'm making a nicer choice for the Earth.

At this point, if it doesn't work out, I'm only out about $120 because Zulily had such.a.great.deal on the gDiaper bundle. Yaaaay!

Next Appointment: Well, I was supposed to go see my OB on Thursday, but since one of his partners worked me in Monday, I'm not going to go on Thursday now. I'm going to go on in next week, and I'll be going in weekly from this point forward.

In summation: (1) almost got the nursery finished, (2) got really sick, getting over it, probably food poisoning. (3) gDiapers & rocker coming soon. Yaaaay.

2nd Baby Shower....

Y'all, I'm so lucky! I am sharing pics from Baby Shower #2. I have lots and lots of pics, but I'm only going to share a few.... {Do y'all really want to see pics of me opening every gift? No, probably not....} The decorations were fabulous, and I swear, every little detail was addressed! It was so great! Bright colors, little owl theme....so cute!

Me & the fabulous hostesses:

{Tera, Leslie, Me, & Pam}. How'd we all meet? We used to all be neighbors in our old neighborhood. None of us live there any longer, but it's fun because we were all young and newly married, and in our first houses.... Anyway..... It was a fabulous shower!

The pics on the table are kind of hard to see, but the one on the left is me as an infant, and the one on the right is Hubby. He looked like such a chubby, happy baby! To hear his family tell it, he certainly was.
:)

We played these shower games....there was this celebrity baby name game. That game was HARD! I am clearly soooo out of touch with celebrity baby names.... We played the "length of string" game to measure around my belly. We teased with Kenzie that she was mapping out the bus line! Her string was soooo long! And, we played this baby item scramble word game. I've never been big on shower games, but I really enjoyed these little games. I wasn't very good at them, but I enjoyed them!
:)

The little shower take-aways for the guests were individual nail polishes in shades of pink! So cute!

{That's the little saying that was on each of the bottles...}

And then for the hostess gifts, I found these owl mugs out & about, and they matched the color scheme perfectly. I got them those & some Starbuck's giftcards.

It was a wonderful, wonderful, shower!

34 Weeks....

How far along? 34w3d

Size of Baby/Baby Milestones: According to babycenter.com, at 34 weeks, "Your baby now weighs about 4 3/4 pounds and is almost 18 inches long. Her fat layers — which will help regulate her body temperature once she's born — are filling her out, making her rounder. Her skin is also smoother than ever. Her central nervous system is maturing and her lungs are continuing to mature as well."


Total Weight Gain/Loss: As of the last dr's appointment, I'm up 29 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. But, that doesn't include the 17 pounds of IVF weight, so I'm feeling huuuuuuuuge. I'm currently weighing more than I've ever weighed in my life. No, it's not some crazy 500 pounds....but carrying an extra 46 pounds is just hard on me. It's hard on my feet, that's fo' sho'! I look at my body and just see this  3 inch layer of fat that seems to coat and surround the real me! Here's to hoping for some rich, thick, fatty breast milk for this baby! "I don't make breast milk. I make cream." {....okay, that seems kind of gross now that I put it out there....}

Maternity Clothes:  Are getting a little short in the front.... I'm just saying..... This belly of mine likes to peek out the bottom of maternity shirts now! It's crazy!

Belly Button In/Out: Disappearing. Well, not really, but it's getting flatter.

Labor Signs: Still with the Braxton Hicks. Other than that, not so much. It's crazy to think that by this point in my pregnancy with Gage, I was going on bedrest. Don't get me wrong---I'd like to stay in bed all day sometimes.... but I'm just saying.... other than the Braxton Hicks, this girl shows none of the same signs of wanting to make an early debut.

Movement: Movement for me is getting difficult. Picking up stuff off the floor is not so much fun. Mopping makes me want to vomit. Turning from my left side to my right is difficult. Getting up from various seating surfaces is difficult. If it's a really soft, cushy seat---no thanks. I'll never get up on my own!

Movement for this baby: generally wonderful. She's still head down. Her little feet s-t-reeeeee-ech out to my right side and it's really crazy. I swear that all of my internal organs are in some sore of a line going down my left side, and this baby is in the middle and so far to the right that she can practically kick the right side of my body almost to the back!

When I was this far along with Gage, he would put his feet in my ribs and his movements huuuuurt. This time, the positioning is just different, and very rarely do her movements hurt me. Some are not as pleasant as others, but they aren't as painful as I remember those finals weeks with Gage.... But, then again, this baby has time to grow and get bigger, so next week, I may feel totally different!

Another difference related to movement in this pregnancy is that when I rest, I can lay back and watch my belly move and jump and contort. When I was pregnant with Gage, I was told that I was "all belly." I dunno....maybe I had more fluid, or something....but, this laying back and watching the belly contort and feeling from it the inside and watching it from the outside----it's just amazing, and not painful, and all kinds of wonderful.

Sleep: Well, Benadryl is approved during pregnancy, so that helps on occasion. But, I am now up 3-4 times a night to go to the bathroom, as this little girl doesn't allow for my bladder to expand much! I've got this all day and night insatiable thirst (no, my blood sugar is not a problem), so I wake up to drink water. I go through two water bottles per night these days....which only contributes to the bathroom breaks....but what's a thirsty girl to do???? Then there's the snoring that bothers my husband. Then there is a 7 year old who comes into our bed every night at some point. His knees find their way to my belly at least once a night. So, between the kicks from the inside, the kicks to my feet for snoring, and the knees to the belly.....that's usually at least 3 more waking incidents per night.

Let's add it up for the # of times I wake per night (using minimum #s):
bathroom break: 3
family kicking: 3
drinking water: 2
get hot/kick covers off: 1
-----------------------
That's a minimum of 9 times per night.
No wonder I'm cranky all the time!!!!!

Cravings/Aversions: Tums can't really be counted as a craving, but they are a daily staple for me. Not much as far as cravings. Still liking milk a lot. We are going through about a gallon a day here at our house.... Still not wanting much meat....

Symptoms: Tired, short of breath, waddling now my predominant mode of self-transport, weight gain, swelling.... Oh, let's talk about the swelling. Yes, my feet swell. That's super sexy (not!) and super comfortable (not!).... My hands are swollen/stiff. My fingers hurt in the mornings when I wake up. My wrists are tight and uncomfortable. When I drive, if I put my hands at the top of the steering wheel, my hands fall asleep, so I have to put them down low. It's sooooo weird!

When I lay down, I primarily lay on my left side, but that gets uncomfortable after a while. If I switch to my right side, I get some weird burning sensation on top right side of my belly. Is it my gallbladder? Is it bile? Whatever it is, burning from the inside is not pleasant, and can't be good for whatever it's burning! So, I don't ever stay on my right side for very long. I'm ready for my organs to go back to their normal spot and normal functioning.... I'm just sayin'! Anyway----so, if I lay on my back for any length of time, my feet and legs start to fall asleep, and they say something about it not allowing for the best oxygen/nutrient flow to the placenta when you lay on your back, so there's that....

Have to say this though: haven't had the leg cramps in a while..... (I'm sure I will now because I just put that out in the universe)... The backaches that had me up and soaking in the tub and crying almost nightly when I was pregnant with Gage----hasn't been the same this go around. When she was transverse I had a period there where walking for any length of time reeeeaaallly made my back hurt, but overall, it has been to a lesser degree than when I was pregnant with Gage. Looking back, I really think I had some kind of pinched nerve or something when I was pregnant with Gage because my back would hurt to the point that I'd lose my breath and feel like I was going to vomit all at once, and it was upper back/mid back pain, not the typical lower back/pregnancy back pain.

Anyway.... I'm having lots of pregnancy symptoms. All normal. Few are pleasant. And new to the list: bat-shit-crazy-mood-swings. I think I covered this yesterday....but the smallest things make me cry, or feel alone/neglected/mad/sad/you name it. And then I look back over these episodes and I can see how irrational my thoughts were during certain times....but, in the moment, things that I say, think, and do make TOTAL SENSE to me.

....one month to go.
....one month to go.

Feeling:  huge, crazy, thankful, sometimes feeling every emotion under the sun all at once.....

Best Moment this Week: This week, I had probably one of the sweetest moments of all time with my son. He loves me, and I love him more than he can imagine. Every day, by the end of the day, my feet just hurt. It hurts to walk from the bedroom to the kitchen. They just get that sore and tired. So, the other night, I took a shower or a bath, and then I got into my jammies, and I climbed up on my bed to prop my feet up. I was trying to put lotion on my legs and feet before we started reading in our Diary of a Wimpy Kid book, and Gage could see that I was struggling to reach my feet and getting winded just trying to tend to my lotion need! So, he sweetly asked if I wanted him to do it for me. He offered to do it.....and he did it. Somehow, magically, my feet weren't super ticklish, and he just did it without hesitation....and it was WONDERFUL. His little bitty hands just doing what needed to be done to help care for his Mommy. So of course, then I was crying while he just sweetly put the lotion on my feet and rubbed it all in.... That freaked him out. I explained that I wasn't hurting or sad, and that I was crying because I was just SO VERY appreciative that he would do that for me. Mentally, I went to the story of Jesus washing his Disciples' feet, and although I can't exactly say that the kind gesture that happened at my house was on a biblical level----it was a wonderful, wonderful, moment in my life that I will never forget.

What I Miss:  ....being able to reach my own feet easily. Sleeping through the night. My pre-IVF weight. My pre-IVF non-puffy, not super-round face. Not feeling crazy all the time. Energy.

What I am Looking Forward To:  My mom coming this weekend to help me get organized!!!!!!!! The arrival of the bassinet. The arrival of the rocker (though, I'm still peeved about the book shelf being on backorder....).

Next Appointment: Next week? I think.... I forget. It's on my calendar.

Changes...

Sometimes, I don't do so well with changes....
....and you throw these pregnancy hormones in the mix?
Well, it just seems to fuel the water works!

I can't help it. I'm a crier, even when I'm not pregnant!
Yesterday, I spent so much time crying, it was just....such a waste of time. But, I can't help it.

So, the changes: the changes fuel the crying.

The bookshelf I ordered: on back order with the soonest delivery date at the beginning of September. They'll be happy to call me in August to schedule delivery.... So----I cancelled the bookshelf for now, and ordered the rocker. The rocker was the final step, but now with the book shelf on back order for so long.... Well, I just changed the order. I'll get the bookshelf in August/September, I suppose. They'll let me know when it's back in stock....

Still waiting on the delivery of the bassinet. Last I was told, it was supposed to be delivered by 4/16, but it was just 4/17 yesterday, so I'm trying to be patient....

Speaking of delivery: my csection date got bumped up from a Friday to a Tuesday. I'm crazy neurotic to care about the Friday connection, but....
...I met my husband on a Friday.
...We got married on a Friday.
...Gage was then born on a Friday.
I just wanted to round out this Friday connection!!!!!!!
But, it's not going to work out in my favor. Can't do it the Friday before b/c I won't be far enough along. Not willing to wait until the Friday after b/c that will put me past my due date. They tried to schedule me for a Wednesday morning, but I said no, "Oh, no. I'm not having Wednesday's child. Wednesday's child is full of woe." Wendy, the scheduler just laughed at me. I'm neurotic. I know it. I was neurotic BEFORE I was pregnant. Now, I'm just plain cra-cra. I can't help it!!!!

So, the change in baby's csection date threw me for a loop, and I just cried and cried.

In the big picture: she could really come at any time. We can try to plan all we would like, but it may not change what is meant to be at all....
....and besides, "Tuesday's child is full of grace."
Gage HAS told me that this baby's name is "Gracie".... Maybe he just meant that she's coming on a Tuesday.
:)

Our Alleniversary....

That's our word around here for the date that Allen went to Heaven. {Well, it's the word Gage and I use for today....}

I told my mom that I'm just boycotting today. My mind can't help but go there, but I'm just not wanting to dwell on it and live out my day in a state of sadness. I don't want to wallow there, if that makes any sense. I just feel like I want to wrap myself in a heavy blanket and not let all of that in....but it comes from inside, and I can't help but look at the clock and turn back the clock one year....
...he'd just be waking up....
...he'd decided to ride his bike...
...he had no idea what was coming....
....the accident had happened now...
etc. etc.

So, this is not going to be some long, drawn out post about his death, or that day, or what I was thinking then..... I just miss him, and all of the details are in my head and I want this reality not to be true....

Sweet boy.....
....we just miss you.
Love,
Nana

Hubby's Real Birthday....Art Show.

On Hubby's actual birthday, we had an Art Show at Gage's school to attend. While we were invited to participate in a fundraiser where Gage was going to get to meet some REAL Navy Seals, we had to opt out because of the school art show and the birthday plans.
{But thank you, thank you, thank you for the invite, Amanda! We'll definitely take a rain check!}

Pics from the Art Show, 2013....

After the school function, we headed downtown for dinner as a little family of 3. It was very nice. Hubby had a steak that was to-die-for! For me to say that about a steak---well, it's practically unheard of! ....especially with my current meat aversion....

Happy Birthday, Hubby!
You'll always be older than me....

Today....

Today I....

....ordered the bookshelf!

...and I am waiting on the delivery of this gift from Darnin & PawPaw:

So exciting!
I'm so ready to have it all here and all put together & done!!!!

Hubby's 38th Birthday....

We had a small birthday party for my husband this year on the Saturday before his birthday. He had some of his family over, and we cooked out in the backyard. It was a joint celebration for Hubby's birthday and his nephew's birthday. They're 20 years apart!
:)

Pics from the day....

Gage was the only one brave enough to venture into the water.... Too cold for the rest of us!

Hubby cooked fajitas for us. Yum!

I think everyone had a really fun time!
I know that I was sooooo tired by the end of the evening.
:)