Warning: long post... Baby Scares...

Well, I had Thursday & Friday off from work. Thought it would be awesome.... turns out, not so much.

Thursday...I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for 10am. I get there...and they've got my insurance info all screwed up again. Word to the wise: if you switch insurances...make big changes like United to Aetna....or Cigna to PHCS. Dont switch from one Blue Cross plan to another. The doctor's office will never get that mess straightened out. Back in January I got insurance through Damon's job rather than my own. So, I went from BC of Texas to BC of Alabama. The doctor's office has gotten a copy of my new card at least once a month since January. They are still filing claims under the BC of Texas info. I asked that every piece of paper with the old insurance either be removed from my chart or marked as old info. Finally--they did it.

Anyway...I'm sitting in the waiting room...people go in...people come back out...I'm still sitting there. FINALLY...it's my turn.
Nurse: "Did he call you in for another ultrasound?"
Me: "No, I had an appointment."
Nurse: "He didnt talk to you about doing another ultrasound?"
Me: "No."
Nurse: "Why dont you have a seat in his office & he'll be right in to talk to you."

So there's the longest 20 minutes ever....just me, sitting there...in the office rather than an exam room, talking to God...promising to do EVERYTHING better & faster if he'll just make my baby be okay. I'm not really sure what all I promised him...but I know I'm supposed to be on time to work & brush my teeth longer, harder, faster, better....I wont ever speed again...& I'm sorry for every wrong thing I've ever done ever...You get the point.

The last time I was in his "office" (rather than an exam room), we talked about doing surgery back in the Fall. This is not the office of good news.

Anyway...the doctor then came in & he doesnt "want to worry" me, but there could be something wrong with the baby. He wont know until we do another ultrasound.....
Dr: "Have you felt the baby move?"
Me: "well, yes, I've felt the baby move"
Dr: "Well, then that's a good sign."
My brain: So, he thinks there may be something wrong that would either keep my baby from moving, or my baby may be dead...no, my baby's not dead...I can feel him....not right now, but I can feel him....

The doctor tells me that he doesnt want me to leave until I have another sonogram. Well, the office sonographer is busy. She just took an 11 o'clock appt. into her office, and they were scheduled for their big ultrasound (I know because I watched them go in with their little video cassette to see probably a perfect baby...I wasnt bitter...not at all...even though--here I was with a potentially HUGE problem & they get to go in just because they have an appointment!) So, the doctor said that if the office sonographer could not get me in, he would walk be down to the hospital to get a follow up sonogram. He said that if he had to guess, he would guess that the baby's umbilical cord might not be going into the baby at the proper place.

My brain: his belly button might not be where it's supposed to be. Okay...that's a problem I can deal with. We live in Dallas,TX...there are probably as many or more plastic surgeons in this town than there are Starbucks. Half of the women in this town have had some work done. I dont care if my baby's belly button is crooked or on his side. I'll pay a plastic surgeon to move it, or do whatever.


So...then I was starving, & scared. I was starving before I was scared. So, I thought I was still hungry. So, they tell me that the sonographer is going to try to get me in between 11:30 & 12, and that I have time to run get something to eat, but again, "the doctor doesnt want you to leave the hospital." So, I go downstairs to this little deli area. I paid $7.31 for a sandwich, no chips, & a drink. It was so not worth it. I thought I was hungry & going in for a sono @ any moment....I was juggling calls between my husband & my mom, and trying to find a place to sit & eat this sandwich. I get back up to the waiting room for the dr's office. Scarf down my sandwich. Get called back in for the sono...

Sono: "okay, there's his belly. Let me go get the doctor."
Me: "okay."
My brain: bitch--you need to tell me what's there. You know what you're looking at. You've pointed out all kinds of stuff in the past. Now I know that there's something wrong. Otherwise you would have said, "oh, everything looks great." You suck...oh, it's not your fault...when are they going to be in here? She's not coming back in without him because she doesnt want to look at me. She knows I'll ask her what's wrong, and she doesnt want to have to tell me. She's probably already told him that I'm waiting...and she's just hanging out in the hall so that she doesnt have to come in here & tell me something's wrong. Well, we saw him moving, so I at least know he's alive...when are they coming back???

So, they came back in the room...they both tell me that everything looks great, the umbilical cord is going in right where it should.... it was just hard to make that judgement with the last sonogram pictures because the cord was likely tangled or kinked in the way, making it look like it didnt go in at the front of his abdomen. Well, looking back...and our big ultrasound where they take all the measurements & stuff....Gage did not cooperate. At first he was bouncing all around & would not sit still...then, he finally got into one position, and he would not move for anything. I decided right then that this baby boy deserves a spanking when he gets here for scaring his mom like that!!!! The doctor then tells me about all the complications that can come from umbilical problems, including fetal demise, still birth, or death shortly after the baby is born....and thank God our baby's umbilical cord is just fine.


After that, I called my husband. Then my mom.
I was sooooo happy & smiling. And, yet, I just wanted to cry & rock myself! Mom said, "that's relief". Well, I guess I only thought I'd felt relief before...I'd certainly used the word before....but I guess I never really felt it until that moment.

My feelings on relief: sure, it feels good....but I dont like the feeling because before relief comes this extreme, intense, amazing worry that is just all-consuming.

So, when I got home, my hands finally stopped shaking, but I threw up my seven dollar sandwich that I never should have eaten on a nervous stomach.


So, that was baby scare #1...

Onto baby scare #2...

We're getting the house ready to sell. We spray painted some ceiling fan blades & a light fixture. On Friday, I was cleaning around the house, working on various projects...Damon was at work...Dad was in town @ Pop & Gammy's.... Dad was going to come over & see me & all the progress we've made on the house...So, I open the back door to go out on the back patio & start cleaning up the painting stuff out there. I tripped on a can of spray paint (that I left on the step) & fall on my knees & hands...and my hands slid along the stupid stone patio so that I fell chin to knees on the patio.

Well, of course I'm crying & get up & call the doctor's office. And of course, I cant feel the baby move...I just knew that I smushed him!!! So, they tell me to come right in. Dad's on his way to my house, so he takes me. Damon meets us there. By now, I'm not crying--but I still wont stop worrying until they tell me this baby is okay. So, they put me in a room. One of my dr's partners comes in....checks the heartbeat, it's good...examines me...I'm good...scraped knee & scraped palms of my hands...that's about it. So, I felt a ton better just knowing his little heartbeat was there. Then--this doctor starts telling me that he's only seen a couple of babies injured from trauma to the mother....he then tells me these two horrible stories, and I wish he never had! He told me about a woman who was 35 weeks pregnant, and t-boned another car at 60 miles an hour...and then a 15 year old who shot herself in the stomach to terminate her own pregnancy. .....two stories that I could have gone my whole life without hearing. Mind you--I just typed in brief scenarios for you--he told of all kinds of horrible details belonging to each case.

So, everyone says that in every ob/gyn practice, there is one doctor who you hope is not on call when you go into labor... for me, he's the one. He's just weird.


Now looking back....Thursday & Friday were just emotional roller coaster days. Saturday & Sunday now seem so uneventful. No, really we worked on house stuff & the place looks a ton better....

This has taken a long time to type...so I gotta run. But, everything is going well with the baby!