Gifts
I have some thoughts today about gifts....
Someone I know recently gave someone else a very large/expensive Christmas gift. As I watched the events unfold....it became very clear that this gift came with strings attached. I just feel like when you give a gift---you are giving it away. The receiver should be able to do whatever he or she wants with the gift. He or she should graciously accept the gift if they want it (in this case, it was very graciously received), but throughout the day---the gift giver was very adament about letting everyone know that he/she paid for it, and therefore he/she should have some say in how things went/were done.
It just got ugly. It made it so that others could not even completely enjoy this gift because they had to not step on the toes of the gift giver.
I know I'm being completely vague....sorry.
Anyway....this whole strings attached has been a problem for years. It makes you sometimes not accept help or gifts from this person because then he/she feels like they have a say in your life or how you use the gift.
I say, give a gift & let go.
If you can't give a gift away completely, then you shouldn't give that gift.
Does that make sense????
UGH.
You wouldn't give someone a camera & tell them what they can photograph. Ya know???
posted by Lainey-Paney @ 6:04 AM
9 Comments:
I'm confused! I think I know what you mean....sort of. But I can't think of what the gift might be. This post is too cryptic!!
it is very cryptic!! I'm dying to know what the heck this gift was and what were the strings? TELL US!!
I agree with you tho...don't give it if you have to say HOW/WHEN/WHERE/HOW to use it
good point.
i've always been a firm believer of gifting and it's done.
no strings attached.
& i see no harm in re-gifting as long as you think someone else can put it to better use.
for example, one of my students' parents gave me 3 scripted deco words to hang on my wall, you may have seen them.... live laugh love
tho it was a very nice gift (and very uncommon for such a nice gift from this clientele of students) it just didn't work in my house.
so i regifted it to my sis. unbeknownst to anyone involved.
and she LOVES it. found a perfect place to hang it....
and was very touched.
tho i feel slightly guilty b/c i didn't exactly think of it and become a supreme gift-giver as she presumes, i did think she'd appreciate it and wanted to pass it on instead of collecting dust in a closet.
wow, sorry i'm talkative!
I absolutely agree. Part of giving is the joy. If one dictates how a gift is to be used or a point is made that strings are definitely attached, that joy is taken.
I wholeheartedly agree about the gifts thing. If you want a say in the future of the gift, it's not a gift. It's a loan or ... something.
Also, speaking of pictures: I have a bunch of coupons for disposable cameras and every time I see them, I think of you. If you want them, send me an email at erinlooneybin[at]yahoo[dot]com.
A gift is a gift to be given without strings, of course. I'm with elaine and beth though. MUST. KNOW. MORE!!!
My husband and I had a conversation about gift giving this weekend. Maybe men are different, or maybe he and his friends are different. He was listening to some tape of crazy music. It was actually taped from a CD that he gave to his brother, so his brother could then dub it to a tape for him. He does this with his close friends as well. I told him it was rude, and he just laughed at me. I do think it's rude to give someone a gift, and then say, "Hey, dub that over for me." It's like bringing wine to a party and then making the host open your bottle, because the other offerings are subpar. Anyway, I understand what you mean.
There's a word for gifts that we don't let go of: loans. Gifts require us to be confident enough to let go, which is the gift we get when we give them. If we give them.
I know exactly what you mean. Sounds a lot like gifts my mother-in-law gives. Gives with a but....
I agree with you totally a gift it suppose to be from the heart, no strings, no buts, no conditions.
Excellent point!
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