Okay. It's Tuesday.
I am working today, and then right after work I will be driving to Corsicana. It's about an hour & a half away. Why am I going...well, there are a couple of police officers there who will be getting an award. About 4 years ago...I think it was 4 years ago...my Aunt Jean was killed in a car accident. The police officers who tried to save her, & who successfully saved her dog, are getting an award. They have an often thankless job, and a dangerous one at that! A lot of the family is going to try to be there when they get the award. I think it will be good for them. I can imagine that on one hand they think that they did all they could--but on the other hand they may question that. I just want to go & be a part of the official "Thank you"!
My Aunt Jean... she was so sweet. She was soooo nice. When I think about her, the first thing I think about her is how non-judgemental she was. You could talk about anything with her. She would sit and listen about anything & it was wonderful. She was the "cool" aunt because nothing you could ever say was wrong or seemed to shock her! That being said--we all have our problems..we all have our weaknesses & all have made mistakes. I think that's how she was able to be supportive to people without judging them. Now, these are just reflections on my relationship with Aunt Jean. She was also a daughter, a mother, a sister. I'm sure that those relationships were unique & wonderful in their own ways.
...my mom just called. She said that they are going to show a video at the meeting, and it's from the rescue attempt. I dont know about that... Mom also said that there are 2 different videos from the accident, and my cousin Nicole has seen both. Nicole said that one is very graphic & the other is not. I just dont know if I can handle that. I mean, I've seen tons of traumatic stuff come through the ER. They've never been somebody that I love though. At Aunt Jeans funeral--it was open casket. At the end everyone walks by the casket one last time before they close it. I got close enough to see how bruised her face looked & I just couldnt go any further. I had to turn around & go to the bathroom & just cry. It was awful. I understand the need for closure--and even the need to be sure that the person is actually in the casket, is actually dead (a topic for another paragraph, another post I'm sure...). I just could not stand to see her body like that though. It was just not very much like her.
...which brings me to this: it is amazing how one body can look so different when it is filled with life & when it is not. When my Aunt Nell died, her body in the casket looked very little like she did when she was alive. It wasnt the makeup, it wasnt the hair...she didnt die in any type of traumatic event...it was simply the absence of life...the absence of Nell herself that changed the appearance of her body & face dramatically.
Ugh. Okay...so today is going to be hard. I think it is very important that we go anyway.
Tomorrow morning: I am due in the lawyer's office at 7:30 to start my deposition. I had a mini-deposition with the attorney last night on the phone just to prepare me for the opposition tomorrow. The attorney says that legally they are allowed to question me for up to 6 hours. All of this over a car accident. I am not even suing! But, my mother & Allen are. They were injured in the accident, and here we go. The accident was in 2001. October of 2001 to be exact. I was covered in blood after the accident, but it was all Allen's. We were hit by a car that ran a red light. The lady who was driving is now claiming that (1) She just came from over a hill (2) The sun was in her eyes, and it is as if my car appeared from out of nowhere; she never saw the car & (3) Allen was not in a child safety seat; Allen was not in a seat belt; Allen was in the front passenger seat standing up.
Okay--where do I even begin with that??? If you could not even see my car--how the hell could you see Allen standing up in the front passenger seat? That is just bullshit. I know for a fact, with all of my soul & being---Allen was in the backseat on the passenger side in a seatbelt. How do I know that??? Because it seemed like it took me FOREVER to get his seatbelt off of him to get him out of the car. His head was cut open & I could just see clean white skull. He wasnt crying, he wasnt moving, his eyes were closed. My god, I thought he was dead. I could not get him out of the car fast enough. I finally got him out, cradling him, I remember just screaming for someone to call 911. I laid him in the street & it seemed like people on the street were moving in slow motion to come & help me. He did not appear to be breathing. I tried to get his pulse at his wrist but my hands were shaking too much. I tried to get his pulse at his neck but I couldnt. I reassessed the breathing situation, and Allen still did not appear to be breathing. I got ready to start CPR when strangers reached us. At this point, mom was stuck in the car & could not get out to help. She also could not see what was going on & I could hear her freaking out. As I was getting ready to start CPR, Allen started moaning, his eyes opened & rolled back in his head, it was awful. But---I knew at that point that he was breathing & obviously had a pulse!!! A guy named Jason, who was a stranger to me until that day, took his shirt off & put it over the cut on Allen's head. Pressure to stop the bleeding--but that's when his face & eye starting swelling RAPIDLY & it was the deepest shade of purple... ugh, it was awful. That whole day was awful. Okay...enough about that. The point is--I have to be up early & get to look forward to 6 hours of questions about one awful day in my own personal history. Yuck. ...and, I miss that car. It was fun, full of a ton of memories...it was a convertible...and it was paid for!!! I cried & cried when they took it away. Now, it wasnt perfect---but I still miss it.
So...Wednesday after the whole deposition thing I need to go get my car registration renewed. My tag went out in 12/04, so what better way to spend the day than at the downtown Dallas County Records Building. Sure, they probably mailed me a notice...at my old address! I got nothing forwarded...and I have not updated the address on my license yet either. I guess I should try to squeeze that into Wednesday as well.
Wednesday night-- Knot get together @ Blue Mesa @ 6pm. Gotta go. I am the one who kind of coordinated the event. :) The knot is www.theknot.com where I chat frequently. I started with wedding planning, but they have message boards for newlyweds that are fun. So, all of us local "knotties" have get togethers occasionally to see each other, catch up, etc. Should be fun. You also meet new people that live near you...it's fun.
Thursday & Friday--work. I need to take my sister's Christmas gifts over. I may do that Wednesday on my way home from work & before the knottie GTG (get together). I may put it off until Thursday. We'll see....
I'm a bit miffed at Damon right now. He let the cat, Dixon, out yesterday. Dixon is an inside cat. And furthermore, Dixon is my baby! He's beautiful...white & gray with the biggest blue eyes. He tolerates Damon, but he adores me. And, at times I tolerate Damon & adore Dixon! (this is one of those times!!!) See, Damon does not always pay attention when he takes Eddie (the dog) out. He will leave the door open & just assume that the cat cant open the back screen door. Well, he has seen the cat push the screen door open & go out. So, he knows that Dixon can do it. Well, yesterday morning, apparently Damon took Eddie out & Dixon snuck out. When Damon got home from work yesterday afternoon, he saw Dixon in the neighbor's front yard. I told him (he was on the phone with me at the time) to go get the cat. Damon said he tried, but Dixon hissed at him & ran off. Damon said that he was like, "Forget it" & was going to let me get the cat when I got home. See, I can go and just say his name a few times & he comes running to me. (...he's so sweet...and such a mama's boy!) Well, I tried that yesterday, & I didnt ever find him. I tried it later in the evening, then just before I went to bed, then again this morning. I never found him! I am so pissed. I told Damon this morning that he needed to get up out of bed & find my cat before he went to work. That was around 7:15. Damon didnt leave the house to go to work until 9:30, but he never found the cat. (I'm not entirely convinced that he even tried.) So--I wont be able to try again until tonight.
Frustrating. And, I just am so afraid that someone would try to steal him because he's so pretty...or that some punk kids would be mean to him. This sucks.
Okay..I've got to get some work done.
