So...today I'm going to blog about something that I haven't blogged about before.
It's something that has been going on in my world, and it's something that I'm struggling with.
Many people close to me know about it b/c we've discussed it....but I've never mentioned it here....until now.
Last night, my dad informed me that he proposed to his "girlfriend", R* (I am not going to type out her name & all that jazz....we'll just refer to her as "R*")
He only met her in June.
She's SEVEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME.
She turned 23 in June, and I turned 30 in June.
There are just a lot of concerns I have for my Dad.
I am concerned about her pulling some Anna Nicole Smith shit, and marrying him for his money. I am concerned that after some period of time she'll leave him, take his life savings, and he'll wind up old, alone, and penniless!
So, of course I mentioned "pre-nup" to my Dad, and he agrees that it is in his best interest financially.
I don't want to sound greedy about that. I don't care about any future inheritance I may or may not get. That's not what this is about. I see old people all of the time who can't afford to be old. I don't want to see my dad in that same boat after working hard his whole life.
On the other hand......
I would hate for her to come into this situation believing that I hate her.
I don't hate her. I don't even freakin' know her!
I do however question her intentions.
It's not that I think my father isn't worthy of love. I simply question what they could POSSIBLY have in common!
Anyway....I was trying to lay out my positive take on this situation:
---he won't grow old alone (oh wait, he'll grow old, and she'll be like...30).
---the more people that love my father, the better.
And maybe it's because of my job...where I work...I dunno.
I have this warped way of looking at things sometimes...but I think: what if he were in some horrible accident, and then all of his medical decisions were left in her hands, and she didn't even call me! What if he never puts it in writing about his advanced directives & she just yells "pull the plug!" before I could ever even get to him!
So, I have these sick & twisted thoughts, and then I feel just horrible.
I don't even know this girl (yes, I did just refer to her as a "girl." I can. I'm her senior!).
Anyway...I don't even know her & I am making assumptions about her, her personality, and predicting future actions, and that is completely unfair of me. It's judgemental, and I wouldn't want to be judged this way....
...but I can't seem to stop myself.
This is my life.
It is what it is.
My dad's going to marry a 23 year old that I've never even met, and I'm not ready to meet her yet.
I'll puke in my own mouth if I see her kiss him. I just will.
I'm not ready to see this stuff with my own eyes yet.
But, maybe I'll love her.
Maybe she'll be great.
She's already told my Dad that she hopes she & I "will be the best of friends!"