Well....I'm pretty much all cried out.
The dr's office called.
My beta has not doubled in the 48 hour period. apparently, they usually "at least double" in 48 hours. My test was a period of 47 hours, and it went from 39,000 to just over 47,000. My progesterone level is apparently "not high enough to maintain a pregnancy." They want to see me "first thing in the morning, to see if the baby has a heartbeat, and is growing in the right place. Dr.B is just concerned" (to quote Kim, the nurse today).
It's just amazing to me that I found out about the existence of this baby 1 week ago. One week. I've been so excited & in love for one week. Is there a baby? Is there something wrong with the baby? Did I cause this b/c I didn't know I was pregnant? It's just....awful feeling.
On the flip side: what if we get there & the baby looks great. Can I take progesterone (shots, pills, patches, whatever...hand 'em over & I'll take 'em!) Or should I? Is this nature's way of telling me, "not this one....something's wrong." ?????
Does my baby have a heartbeat? Did it ever?
I just feel hot & cold & nauseated & horrible.
And, of course I've been sooooo excited, so I've told everyone & their mom about my new baby. I've been looking at maternity clothes & strollers, and we went out & bought some new non-gender-specific baby clothes.
So....just pray for my baby, and pray that no matter what is to be, that we are all able to find peace about this.
We're just scared.
Damon will be with me at the appt. in the morning, but he's got people coming in from out of state to meet with him about a project. Considering the fact that they are already in route, it's not like he can reschedule. So, since he probably won't be able to stay the whole time, my mom is coming up too.
Will it be horrible news?
Will it be be fine news: you have a baby, it has a heartbeat, it's in the right place, & your hormones are just funy. Here take the pills, y'all will all be fine.
I don't know what will happen. Like I said...we're just scared.