Please excuse my offensive language...but what the f*ck?

An enema? Are you f*cking kidding me?
About that...I dont DO enemas.
Give them--sure, no problem. I've given them before @ work. I work in a hospital.
Receive them? Now that's a problem. Give one to myself?? I dont know if I am physically capable of such.

I suppose I need to back up & enlighten the blog readers about the conversation that took place prior to my enema-related freak out.

So, I'm sitting at my desk @ work yesterday afternoon when Wendy from the Dr's office calls. She politely explains all the details about my surgery...risks...consent forms to sign...where to sign in....& she so sweetly slipped in, "Oh, and you're going to need to give yourself an enema". It was somewhere between "Make the check payable to..." & "...tube down your throat to help you breathe..."

So naturally, we had to back up & discuss this whole "preparation process" for the surgery.

and just so you all know--I officially proved that enemas are negotiable. So, if any of you are going in for surgery & they tell you to give yourself an enema, you can refuse & go with a different plan.

I reiterate (and I have no idea if I'm spelling that correctly)... I DONT DO ENEMAS!

So...I'll be on a clear liquid diet for 24-48 hours prior to the surgery, thank you very much!!!! I'll give up food. That's fine. I'm not giving my colon a bath. I'd rather do without solid food that give myself an enema.

...and I have to say...I think I was highly effective in my whining & pleading against the enema. Who cares if I came off looking like the biggest titty baby in the whole wide world.

There are some things that I dont EVER want to do while I'm on this Earth. Getting an enema administered by me, or anyone else, is definitely on that list.