"Hi, Poison Control....yeah, it's me again..."
So...on Sunday...I had to make call #2 to Poison Control.
Scene: Gage was playing on the back porch, did not want to come in...NEVER wants to come inside. So, I attempted to bribe him with a bath.
He still threw a fit, but at least bathtime typically distracts & the fits are much shorter & less intense.
So, he's in the bathroom, I'm kneeling next to the tub...starting the water...getting the toys & baby wash ready...when I hear a spitting & hacking sound.
"Gage!"
He had yucky white drool coming out of his mouth...because he took a bite out of:
Daddy's deodorant.
A bite.
His breath was all "sporty fresh" or whatever the scent was. I just couldn't believe Gage could reach it, open it, & then would bite it, chew it, & swallow it.
Gross.
So, I read the back..."call poison control immediately."
So, Damon comes in the bathroom. I tell him what happened & that I'm fixing to call poison control (yes, that's a very Southern saying...I know). Anyway...he says, "well, what should I do? I mean, what if we have to go to the hospital?"
Typical ME response: "You should get to bathin' him then. I'm not taking him to the hospital all sweaty & dirty after playing outside all day! And you should hurry too. We might have to leave for the hospital in a few minutes!"
Turns out....poison control said that it was not a big deal, and less than 1% of the people who consume that product have nausea & vomiting in the first 4 hours.
...which led to the following conversation between my mother & I:
"How do they know?"
It's not like they called me back 4 hours later & asked if Gage had any of the symptoms. What kind of study did they conduct???? "Come Eat This Deodorant & We'll Pay you $50.00!" WTH?
Anyway...it was funny...maybe you just have to be one of us to get it...who knows. But I'm tellin' ya---it was funny.
And for future reference: I will not accept any job or offer that includes me eating deodorant.
Period.
Labels: Gage
posted by Lainey-Paney @ 7:05 AM
11 Comments:
You'd think the first feeling of the deodorant on his tongue would have kept him from taking a bite!! Poor guy - glad it all ended well.
I tell ya, little kids must not have any taste buds because some of the things they put in their mouths must just taste NASTY.
Glad he is fine after that.
Yikes. Glad he's OK.
Oh, and I believe that the proper Southern phrase is "fixin' to" (without the "g").
Glad it all worked out. And I was thinking the same thing as danigirl - that he'd stop after one bite.
Ick. I always wonder what little kids' taste buds are like, because they'll eat the nastiest stuff!
Glad he's alright.
I am very glad he is OK. I once took a sip of my moms perfume. Not really sure why. I guess I wanted to smell good from the inside out.
OMG that is funny/scary! You know those dishwasher tablets you can put in your dishwasher now? Well somehow my son licked one and I freaked out and almost called poison control, too. It's scary, how many things they put in their mouth in a day! We have to stay sooo on top of them at this age. Your post was so funny, though, like lets make sure he's clean first, then we'll go to the hospital... LOL... glad that he is okay. :)
second :) I will tell you a story.... remember when you were younger and those cheap sneakers were in style, you know the white bobo's you would wear with no shoe laces? anyway I had a pair and one day I was trying to bleach them. My little sister was 3 and she would follow me around the house. I was carrying a cup of bleach to wash my sneakers with. I put it at the bottom of the stairs and ran up to get them. Well long story short she drank it, I mixed oil and milk in like 3 seconds made her drink it and called 911... they say I saved her vocal chords by thinking so fast... all I can say is smell before you drink. I can still see the look of horror on her face when it burned her mouth. poor baby..kids do the craziest things.
I am happy he is ok.
I can picture the study saying something like, "Try this, ask no quesitons and you get $50".
Ah, the good ol' phrase "fixin' to". I believe that is a definite trait of a Texan.
My MOTHER used to stick her finger down our throats when we were sick and make us swallow Vick's Vapo Rub. It is amazing that we all survived. It is one of those "sister" things we all talk about. ALL of us went through this. (And what was she thinking? I mean, it says "do not injest" right on the damn label!)
My mother used to also give us whiskey when we were sick.
If we had eaten deodorant, she would have thought nothing of it!
Um, ew. And ew to the people who commented who have drink perfume and eaten vicks!
I'm glad he is ok - but love the idea of a study where they make you eat deodorant. You'd wanna hope you got a good flavour to eat, eh.
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