Life Is Just So Daily

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Whitney Houston: "Kiss My A$$!"

World, I have a {gasp!} shocking announcement to make: I DON'T HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER.

And, to be perfectly honest, I don't know if the world could stand it if I *DID* have it all together!


Recently---people have been complimenting me on my balance of school work, mommy-hood, internship, real work....etc. They think I've got it all together.

Another friend was talking with me on the phone & saying that she didn't think she measured up in the arena of parenting & called me "the perfect mom" and "the fun mom."

News flash: I'm not the perfect student, or the perfect wife, or the perfect mom, or the perfect friend, or the perfect employee. I'm not the perfect anything, I assure you.

I let my kid eat marshmallows for breakfast sometimes.

I could not find my wallet the other day. It was right where I left it: in the fridge with the bag of booze I bought at the liquor store the night before.

I found myself in the midst of a caffeine-deprived-major-parenting-fail the other morning when I had NO individually bottled/packaged for Gage's lunchbox, other than one can of Dr.Pepper & a wine cooler. I had to STOP myself when I travelled down the mental road of: "well, this is loaded with sugar. But this one has fruit...well, fruit flavoring at least...WTF AM I THINKING? THIS IS A WINE COOLER!" Yes, Parenting FAIL.
{Parenting Tip #762: PreSchools frown upon you sending glass bottled alcoholic beverages in your kid's lunch.}

Without my calendar, I would NOT do my homework, or my papers.
I recently forgot a PAPER that was due until I received a text message from a classmate the night before. At that point, I got side-tracked by the fact that I couldn't find my wallet, so I put the paper off until the next day...

I was late to work 17 times out of a period of 24 shifts.

My kiddo is 4 years old, and I enable his baby-like behavior. I still warm his milk...and then I put Nesquick in it---just like he likes it!

I don't insist that he wear socks with his shoes every single day.

I don't insist that he take a bath every single night.

I let him play barefoot in the backyard.

I suck at washing his hair, and he lets me know that I don't do it nearly as well as Daddy does it.

I skip pages when I read books to him sometimes when I'm eager to go to bed myself.

I haven't taken him to the library....in like 2 months.

I hardly see my friends any more...

I don't have all my sh*t together: I have a calendar...and coffee....
I've made peace with fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants mentality.

I am soooooooooo looking forward to a time when I don't have to juggle school in the mix with all of these other things. I look forward to a time when I can spend more time on walks, and crafts, and have the energy to create fun projects for us to all do together. I can't wait until I have more time to work on decorating our home for the various holidays....when I can sew more than the random hem on pants...

But--------in my defense: I'm not completely worthless.
My family loves me.
I've got good grades.
I get good feedback at my internship.
I haven't gotten fired at work.
My house may look like a bomb went off & I haven't been totally caught up on the laundry in...weeks....but we always have clean clothes to wear.
As far as I know, I don't smell, and my son doesn't smell...so that's something, right?

So..........I'm not the world's best Mommy. I don't have all my shit together. For those who would judge me for it, I'll let Whitney Houston sum up my response: "Kiss My A$$!"



{okay...did I really let crazy-crack-head-Whitney sum something up for me? just another example of how warped I am, right!?}

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23 Comments:

At 5:51 PM , Blogger Lainey-Paney said...

And to add: YES, I had a wine cooler in my fridge.

Don't judge me.
Jamaican Me Crazy is the bomb.

 
At 8:13 PM , Blogger Kate said...

Sometimes only a wine cooler will do the job. I don't judge. Seriously, sounds like you're pretty darn normal.

And sometimes, no one can say it like Whitney.

 
At 1:49 AM , Blogger Chris H said...

You are doing just FINE girl!~

 
At 6:35 AM , Blogger Judy said...

Um, did you just write my post for me?

And what's wrong with marshmallows for breakfast every now and again? Hellllooooo...preschool teacher here, and I'm telling you, that is OKAY. At least you feed him something.

You are FANTASTIC. Don't think anything else, either.

We were at a concert in the park here this summer with a huge group of people from church when one of my friend's sons picked up her cup and took a huge SLLLUUURRP through her straw. It took us all a moment to react before we realized what was happening...that wasn't LEMONADE in the cup! ACK! HAHAHA Totally classic mommy-moment. If a wine cooler is all you got, hon, we need to talk...our garage fridge looks like the Shiner Brewery right now.

 
At 7:18 AM , Blogger DramaCity said...

Uh, hello!? That sounds somewhat familiar!!
No one has it all together all the time and if they tell you they do-they are definetely lying!!

 
At 12:44 PM , Blogger Just Jiff said...

Oooh. I so need some wine coolers in my fridge right now. I think I will be making that trip tomorrow. :)

I am doing the same things as you, minus the internship and my child is only 19 months, not 4 years. I just whined about being tired on my blog so I love that you wrote a nicer post than me. lol.

You know you rock when you can do all that we do and you still have clean clothes. I am wearing a pair of khakis that I wore earlier in the week and I didn't wash them last night. They look and smell clean!! :)

 
At 1:15 PM , Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

That's so funny about the wine cooler! I could see my mind working the same way. And even though I know you aren't perfect, it's still pretty amazing all of the stuff you have on your plate, and that you're obviously doing a pretty good job with all of it.

 
At 7:59 PM , Blogger Zephra said...

You summed me up almost totally. My kids regularly have cereal for dinner, there are days when we have NO clean clothes, I always skip pages, I sometimes let the TV or Wii baby sit. I yell at the kids, I drive my kids to school in my pajamas, and poor hubby does not "get some" nearly as much as he used to.

Sometimes, I feel guilty and want to quit. We could afford it but...I got so far after putting it off for long. I know if I quit now, I may not ever get up the courage to jump into this career again.

I tell you this though, I have considered telling my husband to get a second wife so she can do all those things I can't seem to get done lately.

You and I must clear some time to get together and bitch about things. I miss you.

 
At 3:22 PM , Blogger Rikki said...

I just now read this post...where have I been? You forgot to mention that you have friends that think you are great too!! ;)

 
At 5:32 PM , Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

Socks are overrated.
Why shouldn't he play barefoot in your own damn yard? What else is all that warm weather for?
Do you find it a tad ironic that your husband of all people is better at washing hair than you? Where does he practice? (Spoken as a folically-challenged man myself.)
Also, you find the time to keep all of us updated and laughing.

It's not the things you don't do in a day (I didn't fly to the moon today, I didn't go scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef...), it's the things you do that count, and nothing counts more than family.

 
At 1:48 PM , Blogger Erin said...

The wine cooler thing? KILLED ME. That is several kinds of awesome, right there.

And, just so you don't feel to bad: I don't bathe my kids every day either. They are supposed to be on an every-other-day schedule to keep their skin from getting too dry, but every-other-day usually means every few days. When we think of it. Or when we realize it's been nearly a week and our kid is about to start being the "Stinky Kid" at school.

 
At 6:31 PM , OpenID thesmallmoments.wordpress.com said...

My 14-month-olds? They watch way too much TV. They still drink from bottles even though it seems as though they should be mastering the sippy cup. And I still feed them pureed food because they like it and I am too lazy to actually make them dinner every night. Oh well...they are happy and is that really all that matters?

 
At 10:44 PM , Blogger ~love said...

yummmm...wine cooler sounds perfect right now.

and--i've been meaning to do a post almost exactly like this. it is coming....

 
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