Life Is Just So Daily

Friday, June 06, 2008

F*CK! F*CKITY-F*CK-F*CK!

OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWD.

So, I walk through the den after a particularly rough afternoon with Little-Mister-No-Nap....you know, he refused a nap all day, and his behavior got soooooooooo horrible, then I reluctantly put him down for a nap at 4:45 b/c it's a Friday....

I walk into the den to see that Gage, who shall now be known as "Random-Crayon-Boy" has colored all over the F*CKING FURNITURE.





I think I know when this happened.
See, earlier we had cabin fever. While I was blow-drying my hair, things got quiet. Checked in on Gage. He had gotten his crayon box from the kitchen & two coloring books. He was in his room coloring. I expressly told him that we ONLY color on paper. When we returned from the mall, I saw that he colored on the hardwood floors in his room. No biggie, since I was able to get most of it up with a baby wipe, and I know that I can get the rest up with the Magic Eraser. I put the colors up, and was talking to him about not coloring on the floor, and told him that he will not be able to use his colors again for a week. That's the deal. [To note: like he really cares. He colors once in a blue moon...but hey, I was trying to put my foot down!]
Anyway....after the mall, I was stoked about my shower gel deal, and we were tooting around here. I tried to put him down for a nap. didn't work. Finally, things got so bad starting around 4:15....so at 4:45, he went down for a nap.
As I'm walking from his room, into the hallway, and then into the den---I see a random blue crayon on the den room coffee table, and he's colored on the glass. I leave the room to fetch cleaning supplies. When I enter the room again from a different angle---that's when I see it: HE HAS COLORED ON THE DAMN COUCH.

This child may never see another crayon until the first day of Kindergarten.

Hubby JUST steam cleaned the den furniture because: we are giving them to our neice, Jordan, for her apartment. She's going off to College Station in a few months, and this is kind of her "graduation/first apartment" gift. Yes, I know it's hand-me-downs, but it has sentimental value to me (my first "living BY MYSELF" apartment furniture, and I bought it with one of my first paychecks from my first career job), it's in good condition, and it's so cute. ...or at least, I think so. So anyway, it's supposed to be Jordan's any day now, and it was JUST CLEANED.

I'm afraid to steam clean it b/c crayons are made of wax. I'm afraid of smeering the blue pigment everywhere.
UGH.

I need some Calgon.

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30 Comments:

At 4:27 PM , Blogger Laura said...

oh crap!

My kids did this last summer and our couch hada seal on it - so just soapy water took most of it off...

maybe google it to see if there is a strange way to remove the crayon - you know like using soda or something.

Good luck!

Poor you....hang in there.

 
At 4:58 PM , Blogger Mandy said...

Oh ouch, that is crappy. Consider investing in the color wonder markers, the come in cool characters and are do not color on anything BUT the paper! NatNat loves them, and they are even decent for car trips!

Hopefully you are able to get it out!

 
At 5:05 PM , Blogger Zephra said...

O! M! G! I would have to leave the house for fear of killin em.

 
At 6:35 PM , Blogger Judy said...

Here - Google is your friend...

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070416110146AAZGDs2

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/758957/remove_crayon_from_just_about_any_house.html?cat=6

http://www.ag.fvsu.edu/teletips/stain_removal/856.cfm

http://www.mrscleannw.com/tips/crayon-stain-removal.html

Surely one of these will work...hang in there!

 
At 7:09 PM , Blogger Kate said...

Oh. No.

 
At 7:37 PM , Blogger *~Sarah Lynn~* said...

Oh Boy! I don't know what I'd do!

 
At 7:44 PM , Blogger Chris H said...

Hmmm... yep... been there done that... only it was ink pen on leather!!! It did not come off and the lounge suite was BRAND NEW... luckily for us the suite had a manufacturing fault so they took it back, ink and all!!! Kids .... they can be such pains sometimes. Why oh why do we have em???? I hope you can get the crayon off....

 
At 7:47 PM , Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

First, great title.

Second, sorry, but that just makes me laugh.

Third, I'm only laughing because I'm punchy from listening to 3B scream, beg, cry, whine, plead, and grovel for two hours rather than just going to sleep.

Fourth, Ann and Nan's Clean it! Fix it! Find it! book is pretty good, but I couldn't find it anywhere to point to.

Fifth, it's a good thing he's cute, right?

 
At 7:53 PM , Blogger Tanya said...

Oh No!! My jaw dropped when I saw that!

Your title had me laughing because that's just what I would say if that happened to me. I hope that you have some really pretty quilts to lay over them for awhile!

 
At 8:34 PM , Blogger Mojavi said...

holy shit.. LOL at first I thought it was your BRAND NEW sofa set!

Hope you can find a way to clean it :)

 
At 9:04 PM , Blogger Blinds said...

Can you at least flip the cushions? I hope so!!

 
At 6:26 AM , Blogger zirelda said...

Oh My Word.....

 
At 7:27 AM , Blogger Pokey Puppy said...

OMG!!!! that is horrible!!! I've found crayon drawings in interesting ways over the years.. but thankfully not the couches!!!

 
At 9:30 AM , Blogger Aubs said...

Oh my goodness....kids can be something else sometimes! Many well wishes coming your way that you can get it out fairly easily! Hang in there....it does get better!

 
At 10:29 AM , Blogger Shoeaddict said...

Whoa, that sucks. Someone would die!! I thought this was your brand new furniture, too. Whew.

You saying that he'll never see crayons again reminds me of my mom. When I was very young, a little older than Gage, I was playing with markers. My mom was on the phone and I got bored so I began dipping them in Coke and writing all over. She didn't let me have markers again until I was required to have them in the 8th grade, true story.

 
At 2:42 PM , Blogger Beth said...

This is where mothers learn patience and control. I'll just bet you wanted to scream, kick and hit something. (Not the little guy...)

 
At 6:07 PM , Blogger Aunt Becky said...

You poor thing! I'm sorry, dude!

 
At 6:59 PM , Blogger Christy said...

Oh no! Porgie colors all day. Seriously - ALL DAY. But I only give her washable crayons. They really do wash off just about every surface.

Sorry to hear about your poor couch.

 
At 8:03 AM , Blogger kim-d said...

Aw, F*ck! F*CKITY-F*CK-F*CK! I, too, was just relieved it wasn't your new furniture (which I hope we're gonna get to see pretty soon!). I agree with whoever said it's a good thing Gage is cuter than cute :)!

Don't have a clue what you should do about it other than flip the cushions, but you will figure it out. Sort of like I did when I spilled deep red candle wax on my off-white carpeting. And had no one to blame but myself. Grrr.

 
At 6:42 PM , Blogger Chas said...

OH dear...my mouth actually fell open when I first saw the pictures.

Is that microfiber? If I were you I'd start with something gentle...maybe soap and water. That stuff is supposed to be easy to clean.

 
At 7:56 PM , Blogger Marni Tiani Self said...

I would have been so pissed.

 
At 9:45 PM , Blogger Ann(ie) said...

oh.my.god. I almost bought crayons for Ben this weekend and now I'm afraid. I think I'll let him continue thinking they don't exist. meh. That sucks girlie.

 
At 5:56 AM , Blogger Kellie said...

That? Sucks. I see you have a lot of suggestions for trying to remove the crayon. Which is good, since my only advice is to ban all Crayons until he's 21 and to then hide in a tub of bubbles with a big margarita :)

 
At 6:30 AM , Blogger Beth said...

oh Lainey...you need more than Calgon!!! You need Jack Daniels!!

ahhh, the good old days...my one son was very fond of scissors, since he was learning to use them in pre-school....so he decides to get mommy's wallet and cut up all of her pictures....and her money...into nice little bits of paper. such a good boy.

 
At 8:30 AM , Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

I'm so sorry. I know you don't need any "at least it..." stuff, but at least it wasn't your good, new furniture. If it doesn't come out, maybe she can get a cover? Anyway, it will definitely be a conversation starter for her.

 
At 11:11 AM , Blogger Missy Marshmallow said...

Wow! That is a doozy.

 
At 2:33 PM , Blogger Steph said...

That is crazy. A couple we know, their son colored all over his blinds, his toys, his walls...EVERYTHING. Good luck getting it out.

The bf dumped an entire glass of RED WINE on the new carpet and new couch last night. Now that was a treat to clean up!

 
At 8:19 PM , Blogger cipriano said...

Yikes.
No kidding. That is profoundly disturbing!
Reminds me of when I bought my cream-colored damask couch and love seat. First thing I did?
Upset about a gallon of V8 juice on it.
Like.... tomato juice.
But kids and crayons? Yes, that is a recipe for disaster sometimes!

 
At 6:11 PM , Blogger angie said...

My soon to be brother-in-law just got back from College Station! He went to the fire academy up there. Yay I feel like I know where somewhere is haha!

I asked Dave if he knew of anything to help you get the crayon out and he said no, but he would be happy to recover them for you! I then told him that you are back in Texas :(

 
At 11:05 AM , Blogger ~love said...

anika didn't have gage's enthusiasum about it, but she did the same thing yesterday...with a blue crayon. AGH! have you gotten yours out??

 

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