You must have lost yo' DAMN MIND.

So...apparently I'm married to a complete moron.
[maybe i'll apologize about this post later...but NOT right now.]

So....I don't work on 2 days during the work week. Tuesdays & Wednesdays.
Well, Wednesday is also my husband's poker night at his friend's bar. So...after yesterday at home (which was great) & today at home (which is also great), I get to do night duty by myself also. Not horrible, it's fine.

HOWEVER....

Scene: Gage & I in the living room. Remember yesterday----the toys exploded everywhere. Well...I got it cleaned up, but we have been here today & therefore, there are toys strewn about. That's not the issue.
The issue is this: don't bring company home without calling me first. (1) I could have been naked. [not likely, given the hour & the fact that I was hanging out in the living room with my son...but, I'm just saying....] & (2) I would have preferred a little time to clean up.
My husband & his friend dropped by to pick up clay poker chips b/c the regular ones they use were stolen from the bar....yada, yada, yada.
Let's see....our friend enters our living room to find tampons & corn on the floor from one end of the room to another. Yes, Gage wanted some corn with dinner, so I happily fixed him a bowl & let him sit at his little table. When he was done eating, he picked up the bowl, and started spinning....showering the room with corn kernals as if he were a sprinkler watering the yard. And the tampons---well, he grabs them by the handful if that particular drawer is open in the bathroom. It's easier to let him play with them as swords until he forgets about them, and put them all away later. It's a fun little cycle for me...

So yes....our friend, with no kids, comes in to find tampons & corn & toys all over the living room. He went with my husband over to the dining room & went no further. The entire dining room table is covered with laundry, and a stack of my panties front & center. Yea buddy.

He'll say he's sorry...he was just going to pop in & get the poker chips...he didn't know Josh was going to come in...yada, yada, yada. Save it. Heads are going to roll. I'd say, "tell it walkin'"....but, in this case...it's going to be "tell it cleanin' MF'er!" You know...when I saw him----his fingers were not broken. So, he could have DIALED HOME on the phone. If ET can do it, so can he (or....I thought he could....maybe he IS a moron).

WTF?
And why do I care so much? I don't know.
It's part of who I am to care about this kind of stuff. And you know Josh just added ONE MORE reason to his list for "cons" about having kids. He'll go home & tell the wife, "Yeah....maybe we shouldn't have kids. they get corn all over your floor."
OOOOOORRRR....even worse: "Laine sucks as a mom. she just sits around & lets the kid throw corn on the floor."
I guess that's my biggest beef: random drop ins like this show that I don't always have a perfectly clean house & perfectly behaved child... somehow I just feel like this is a reflection that I'm not super-gal who can balance it all.
And, I know that Josh is our friend & non-judgemental like that....but still.

UGH.

....and, I've pretty much decided that the corn stays on the floor tonight. Mr.Hospitality can clean it up tomorrow.
And---Megan & Susan----I won't be home Thursday night, but feel free to stop by my house unannounced. Let's see how he likes it! Oh, and call me if you still see corn on the floor!