Life Is Just So Daily

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

You must have lost yo' DAMN MIND.

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So...apparently I'm married to a complete moron.
[maybe i'll apologize about this post later...but NOT right now.]

So....I don't work on 2 days during the work week. Tuesdays & Wednesdays.
Well, Wednesday is also my husband's poker night at his friend's bar. So...after yesterday at home (which was great) & today at home (which is also great), I get to do night duty by myself also. Not horrible, it's fine.


Scene: Gage & I in the living room. Remember yesterday----the toys exploded everywhere. Well...I got it cleaned up, but we have been here today & therefore, there are toys strewn about. That's not the issue.
The issue is this: don't bring company home without calling me first. (1) I could have been naked. [not likely, given the hour & the fact that I was hanging out in the living room with my son...but, I'm just saying....] & (2) I would have preferred a little time to clean up.
My husband & his friend dropped by to pick up clay poker chips b/c the regular ones they use were stolen from the bar....yada, yada, yada.
Let's see....our friend enters our living room to find tampons & corn on the floor from one end of the room to another. Yes, Gage wanted some corn with dinner, so I happily fixed him a bowl & let him sit at his little table. When he was done eating, he picked up the bowl, and started spinning....showering the room with corn kernals as if he were a sprinkler watering the yard. And the tampons---well, he grabs them by the handful if that particular drawer is open in the bathroom. It's easier to let him play with them as swords until he forgets about them, and put them all away later. It's a fun little cycle for me...

So yes....our friend, with no kids, comes in to find tampons & corn & toys all over the living room. He went with my husband over to the dining room & went no further. The entire dining room table is covered with laundry, and a stack of my panties front & center. Yea buddy.

He'll say he's sorry...he was just going to pop in & get the poker chips...he didn't know Josh was going to come in...yada, yada, yada. Save it. Heads are going to roll. I'd say, "tell it walkin'"....but, in this's going to be "tell it cleanin' MF'er!" You know...when I saw him----his fingers were not broken. So, he could have DIALED HOME on the phone. If ET can do it, so can he (or....I thought he could....maybe he IS a moron).

And why do I care so much? I don't know.
It's part of who I am to care about this kind of stuff. And you know Josh just added ONE MORE reason to his list for "cons" about having kids. He'll go home & tell the wife, "Yeah....maybe we shouldn't have kids. they get corn all over your floor."
OOOOOORRRR....even worse: "Laine sucks as a mom. she just sits around & lets the kid throw corn on the floor."
I guess that's my biggest beef: random drop ins like this show that I don't always have a perfectly clean house & perfectly behaved child... somehow I just feel like this is a reflection that I'm not super-gal who can balance it all.
And, I know that Josh is our friend & non-judgemental like that....but still.


....and, I've pretty much decided that the corn stays on the floor tonight. Mr.Hospitality can clean it up tomorrow.
And---Megan & Susan----I won't be home Thursday night, but feel free to stop by my house unannounced. Let's see how he likes it! Oh, and call me if you still see corn on the floor!


At 6:20 PM , Blogger gmcountrymama said...

As we live in the country, I frequently, daily, walk around in my underwear and sometimes topless-just on my way to get some clothes of course. However,I did flash the UPS guy once. Now he just tosses the packages on the porch and runs.
Thanks for noticing my lack of blogging lately, I finally posted tonight.
I hope your hus has fun cleaning up!

At 6:57 PM , Blogger Shauna Loves Chocolate said...

I SO get you, Laine. It's always the people without kids that don't get it. I didn't get it until I had kids. And now I have two (kids). I TOTALLY get it.

At 7:09 PM , Blogger Alissa said...

I know where you're coming from. Nothing like being in a t-shirt and panties because your kid just spit up all over you, trying to clean up the kid and yourself, trying to keep the other kid out of the toilet, and having your husband walk in with not one, not two, but FOUR friends. Walk in the back door. And not announce that he's home. And then just arrive in the living room, with all of them, while you're half dressed...

Yep, happened. You are not alone. Men can be very inconsiderate.

At 9:04 PM , Anonymous anonymouse said...

This post kills me. It reminds me of the time that I nearly sent a dirty text message to my husband who was out with some guy friends before I realized that the person texting me from his phone was our friend.

Also - I have no kids and I've always hated drop-ins. Always. Maybe because I'm a terrible housekeeper.

At 5:43 AM , Blogger Patty said...

I am so sorry this happened.I TOTALLY get it and I don't have kids but I can related to being unprepared for company. I would be annoyed too at him for not calling...making him clean up is a GREAT way to remind him to give you a heads up next time!

At 6:28 AM , Blogger Papa Bradstein said...

But if Josh was a parent, he would have come in and said, "Holy crap, your house is so clean." Trust me, if I came in, my reaction would have been, "What? Only corn and tampons? How do you keep up so well?" You're a great mom, but that doesn't mean that he can't clean up all the corn as payback for not calling.

At 7:08 AM , Blogger Beth said...

I understand why you are pissed off - I would be too. But it is NO reflection on your mothering skills to be "caught" with a toy (and popcorn) cluttered house.
With three boys, my home was frequently a disaster area. What are you going to do? Have your child put away each toy as he finishes playing with it? You'd be raising a little robot.
Be mad - but don't change how you manage your home. It's your home!

At 8:42 AM , Blogger S said...

I'm LMAO over here because I have been there w/crap all over. At least the "no kids" guy can't say you don't have excitement at home -
panties and corn, YEAH BABY! :-)
(did I make you laugh, even just a little bit?)

On that note, he definitely needed to check first!
Sorry you had to deal w/that.

At 1:38 PM , Blogger shoeaddict said...

Yeah, Luke does that but, he invites people over for dinner without asking me/telling me until after. I can be sick or not in the mood or whatever...

I hate it!

At 7:23 PM , Blogger Erin said...

My husband does very similar things. Usually it is inviting someone over for dinner on the ONE NIGHT that I have planned to slap some hot dogs on the grill and throw beans in the nuker and call it dinner. Grrreat.

At 8:35 PM , Blogger Mojavi said...

i had one of those "you must hav loss' yo damn mind" too... sometimes........just uuuuuuhhhhh!!!!!!!!

At 8:48 PM , Blogger ~love said...

okay..i'm so laughing right now, but i so understand, too.

hope you do know, though, that's it's totally not a reflection of your mothering. actually maybe it is...but a good one.

making gage feel secure, loved, valued and a real part of the family is so much more important than a shiny dining room table and spotless floor!

At 7:42 AM , Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

That was funny! I know it had to be miserable while it happened, but I think you can probably milk it for more than just one clean up session. If you don't feel like doing something, you could say, "Remember when you brought Josh in and he got to see my tampons and underwear? Yeah, I think you need to do (fill in the blank)."

At 5:34 PM , Blogger hellomelissa said...

ok, that's just darn funny.

At 8:18 PM , Blogger Zephra said...

"Maybe we shouldn't have kids...they got corn all over the floor" HAA HAA HAA that had me cracking up.


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