Good & Bad...Black & White...Sweet & Sour...

That is how things are right now.
On one hand---I'm terribly, terribly mad about something.
On the other hand---I have this ultra-adorable little boy who will be crawling soon!

Soooo...here's the sweet stuff first:

Yesterday, while at work, Damon had the baby at home. Damon called me because Gage was laughing. He would "zerbert" his belly & Gage would just laugh & laugh. It was soooooo cute to to hear that! Then, when he heard me talking on the phone--he just tried to eat the phone. (I swear, he hears my voice & associates it w/ eating/nursing...I'm just a dairy cow to him!)

Anyway...when I got home, I nursed him...played w/ him....& put him down on one of his mats for "tummy time". Well---then he turned into a little inchworm! He hasnt ever done this before!!!!



Here he goes.....




Oh, it was so-so-so-so cute! He inched around for a few minutes, and then got frustrated.


He got sleepy around 7pm. I nursed him, and put him down to bed. He slept until 5 this morning! Woohoo!!!! So, at 5, I got up with him...nursed him on both sides, and put him back in his crib (wide awake) at 5:31. At 6:30 when I got up--I checked on him...sound asleep. He never cried out once. YYYYYEEEEESSSS!!!! Damon said he slept until 8am.

We got a couple of books to help w/ sleeping.... But, the one that was suggested by one of the docs that I work with...well, Damon couldnt find that one, so he got two others. One of them is the "Brazelton Method". Um...basically--we already do that. It talks about a routine...consistency...rocking the baby & singing to the baby, etc. That's what we do, and the entire process takes 30-45 minutes. We're trying to get Gage to "self-soothe", and the Brazelton thing isnt really working out for us. The other book Damon got---I forget what it's called. I only read a few pages last night in that book b/c I was a sleepy girl. Anyway---I'm going to have to call around & get this book by Weissbluth called, "Health Sleep Habits, Happy Child".

Dreams....Carole did an analysis of my dream from the other night. I think her analysis is very good. Everything she says makes sense...although I didnt see all of the connections until she pointed them out....

At 11:01 AM, CBM said…

My non-professional analysis of your dream:

The boy represents Riley. And eating the matches represents the terribly dangerous things kids can do in their innocence, or more specifically what happened to Riley. And your not being able to stop him from eating the matches respresents the fact that sometimes we can't control what happens, even as much as we try. You long to reunite Riley to his parents. If it were as "simple" as wrestling an alligator to do it, you absolutely would.


Anyway---I thought it was pretty good, and blog-worthy!
:)

Now...why am I mad???

Let me start by saying...I'm not nearly as mad today as I was yesterday.
Apparently my breast pumping has become an "issue" around here, b/c I pump at my desk. Behind the closed & locked door to my office. Granted, I have an office-mate, named Sarah. I've asked her if this bothers her. She has repeatedly told me that no, she is not offended by this. Okay, great. So, when I need to pump (twice a day) I put a post-it note on the outside of my door, just above my doorhandle. The post it note is no bigger than a business card. It reads, "PIP"...which stands for, "Pumping In Progress". That way, most people who walk by dont know what it means. But---the others who have offices down here--all women--know that it means I am pumping, and either dont come in during that time, or do so discreatly--so that people outside cant see in. WWWWEEEELLLL. Apparently someone down here...oh, the ER director, Lynn...has a problem w/ me pumping at my desk. She doesnt think it is appropriate or professional. And, because we have an Employee Lactation Room at the hospital, I am expected to do my pumping there.

Here's why I am pissed: (1) I've been pumping at my desk for months & it is just now becoming an issue (2) The Employee Lactation Room isnt just for me. It's for everyone who pumps here, and so I have to wait my turn to use it. Due to the nature of my job, I cannot schedule pumping sessions @ 10:30 & 2, I have to go when I can--but usually around those times. And, there have been times when I go down there, and someone is using the room. So, instead of standing there & waiting for 30 minutes, I return to my office. I go back 15-20 minutes later, and someone else is in there. So, it's not as convenient as the non-pumpers think. (3) If someone has a problem with my actions or behaviors---why dont they come to me first. seriously. dont be a chicken sh*t. We have this concept here, and I actually teach it in our Customer Service class at the hospital, it's called "Pledge to My Peers". One of the biggest issues is that when we have a problem w/ someone's attitude, actions, or behavior, that we will go to them first & try to resolve the issue. If nothing is done, then we will go to their supervisor. So, Lynn says NOTHING to me about this issue, and went straight to my boss. So then, I get called to my boss's office about this--like I'm in TROUBLE or something. Are you f*cking kidding me? "Lynn, put your big girl panties on, and deal with it." I would be reacting to this differently, had she come to me & said that I was making someone uncomfortable, or that during those times she feels Sarah (office-mate) is unreachable...etc. If she had come straight to me, I would have said, "Oh my goodness. I never meant to make anyone uncomfortable...I dont want my pumping to inconvenience anyone. Why dont I use the lactation room when it's available?" You know--I would have tried to accommodate everyone in this situation. But, as it sits---I'm mad as hell. I understand that a place is provided to me for pumping, and I appreciate that....b/c otherwise--I'd have the LaLeche League down here so fast...they'd have more titties in their lobby than Hugh Hefner's ever seen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. My chest & neck are all splotchy just typing about this. I work in a f*cking hospital for crying out loud.

And I just know--the next point of contingency will be my breast milk in the break room refrigerator where people keep their lunches. Mom & I already discussed this. It may be a "bodily fluid"...but once it leaves my body, it IS somebody's lunch! It's Gage's lunch. It's fit for consumption, and if it is good enough for my son to drink, it's good enough to be kept in your damned ol' refrigerator.

Oh, now I'm so mad again.