Today, I just feel broken.
But I can't sleep.
The details of all this just hurt.
The hurt is in the details.
Not the tasks of what is ahead, or what is in my immediate to-do basket, but just the details about his accident, and his body, and if there are words in the English language to describe all of this or how I am feeling---well, I don't know them.
I just know that I feel broken.
I just want to scream that to the heavens, and I can't.
I want to throw a fit like a child until I get my way.
But those things won't bring him back, and I'm pissed and I'm sad, and I just ache in my core, in my throat, in my eyes.
It's late, and I'm rambly, and exhausted, and I can't really find the words that I need.
Talking out loud sometimes is a whole lot harder than typing, so for this minute right now---this is my outlet.
I'm going to take a bath and bawl and go to bed.