Let's talk swimsuits....

...okay, so it's that time of year.
The time of year when all the women's magazines on the stands print articles about this style and that, and how to find the best swimsuit if..
...you want to minimize your thighs...
...or enhance your cleavage...
...or cover your entire ass...
...or look thinner...

Um...so, really, which category should one pick?
Where the f*ck is the swimsuit that will minimize my thighs, enhance my breasts, cover my ass, make me look thinner, and cook my flippin' dinner?
Hmmmmm?
Now THERE's an article I'd freakin' read.

I'm just sayin'.

On the upside: Spanx is now making swimsuits. {Ahhhh, my faith in humanity is restored!}