Life Is Just So Daily

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

The 2WW is over.

For those who have ever been (or currently are) TTC (trying to conceive), then you understand that WW = "week wait" as opposed to Weight Watchers.
The 2WW refers to the 14 days post ovulation.

Well, our current 2WW is over, and we're not pregnant.

I haven't really blogged about this much, and I'm not going to give a play-by-play here... It's just something we are working on here in 2012.

Hubby is *very* optimistic.
Me? This whole process makes me completely neurotic.
I know this.

Things that prove I'm completely neurotic, yet I continue to do them during the 2WW, and shamelessly now, I am confessing all this on my blog:
1. Look up "early pregnancy symptoms" online; assess myself head to toe.
2. Follow that up with "very early pregnancy symptoms" online; reassess head to toe.
3. Look at this month's cycle chart vs. previous/failed months of cycle charts: Is there a hidden picture? Is there a hidden message? Is there a sign?? Please, God, let this be a sign!
4. Pray {beg}, and promise everything under the sun.
5. Secretly question if I'm somehow being punished and question what is "meant to be."
6. Reassure myself that I'm not being punished, and that my timing is not always God's timing.
7. Calculate my anticipated due date and imagine what our life is going to be like around whatever the nearest holiday will be.
8. Read about creative pregnancy announcements and decide how the big reveal is going to happen this go-round.
9. Look at the latest trends in baby gear {Hello! Have you seen the stroller that charges your ipod/iphone as you propel the wheels? Completely unnecessary, but it exists.}
10. Rinse & Repeat Daily...or more frequently.

I'm completely neurotic.

Don't say "relax and you'll get pregnant" or I'll reach through this computer & smack you. {And so will my friend (S).}
It's a bit more complicated than that for us.

And so----today is disappointing.

...on the flip-side: today marks the start of a whole new cycle and a chance to try again. So, I have to consciously decide to be hopeful.

And what nourishes my soul? My devotional book! Today's words: Keep on asking and you will receive, so that your gladness may be full & complete!



At 3:01 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile and today I wish I could reach thru the computer and give you a hug. TTC is such a stressful and emotional process--we've all been neurotic at some point in the process. Hang in there, remain hopeful and stick close to your husband and son when you have the bad days (or better yet, go to nordstroms rack and buy shoes...which is what I did!) :)

At 4:11 PM , Blogger Judy said...

Okay, you want to hear something FREAKY??? Both boys (which were HUGE miracles as an adult-onset of chicken pox made conception near impossible) "revealed" their pregnancies the same way. Each month/cycle, I'd obsess the entire two weeks, and (no joke here) the night before we'd have to mark that month off the calendar and start over, I'd ALWAYS have these wild fantasies of truly being pregnant. No, really. I'd obsess about it the entire day and evening, only to wake up the next day and realize it was TOTALLY not happening. Except three times (the boys and the one between them). Those times, time slipped away from me, I never gave it a thought until about a week after I should have been looking at a new calendar. I truly think it was God's way of revealing His time to me, and that I had absolutely no say in how it would happen (or when). I feel for you, girl. And, I know God's gonna have his hands all over this as well, no matter how much you think you can guess how it will all turn out. Hang in there. Lots of love coming your way. Hug Mr. Gage long and hard tonight. His time...His time.

At 4:38 PM , Blogger Beth said...

You’re not neurotic at all – you’re a wonderful, loving mother hoping for another baby/child to love.
Wishing you all good things – and saying a prayer. (Truly.)

At 7:02 PM , Blogger Kate said...

You sound very normal. I was one for checking signs and then obsessing that they were the same as PMS and I'd do the same thing month after month. Ugh. I'm sending hugs.

At 1:37 AM , Blogger Valerie said...

Lainey I will pray for you and I will also get in line behind my sister to slap anyone who tells you to relax. Everyone knows relaxing doesn't make babies.

At 1:47 PM , Blogger Christy said...

Trying to get pregnant is very stressful. Especially when it doesn't happen right away.

I am thinking of you and hope March is your lucky month!

At 7:37 PM , Blogger Patty @ A Day in My NYC said...

Sending lots of hugs your way! Have fun trying in the new month ;)

At 4:39 AM , Blogger The Laundress said...

I wish I had words of wisdom for you.

Just know I'm thinking of you.

And wishing right along with you.


At 9:13 AM , Blogger Brent and Rachel Fisher said...

**Hugs** Praying for a quick conception :)

At 6:49 AM , Blogger Misguided Mommy said...

I've been wondering when you guys would try again but never wanted to ask. My advice, what worked for me after three years of fertility treatments...getting really drunk. Then I was having real drunk sex and not, "omg am I getting pregnant right now sex," and I'm pretty sure my body relaxed more AND BAMN pregnant. Foget the $11,000.00 fertility treatments all I needed was half a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Congrats on the trying and good luck

At 6:49 AM , Blogger Aubs said...

will be praying and believing with you for God's timing. *and asking/hoping for his timing to be sooner than later!* ;) and your neurotic = totally normal in my book!

At 12:35 PM , Blogger Stephanie and Jeff Stovall said...

Your list reminds me of myself when we were TTC with Audrey! While it took me "only" 9 months with her (I understand it takes some people years), those 9 months were long and hellish. The begging and bargaining seems normal to me! ;)
Wishing you fertility and praying for patience. **HUGS**

At 12:35 PM , Blogger Stephanie and Jeff Stovall said...

Your list reminds me of myself when we were TTC with Audrey! While it took me "only" 9 months with her (I understand it takes some people years), those 9 months were long and hellish. The begging and bargaining seems normal to me! ;)
Wishing you fertility and praying for patience. **HUGS**

At 9:53 AM , Blogger Just Jiff said...

I have been absent from blogs for awhile and came today to read yours and wow. I didn't know you were trying, but am THRILLED you are. It's so stressful and it took me 2 years of unsuccessful attempts before my first and now my second. I'm crossing fingers and toes and trying to do a fertility wobble for you. You are amazing parents and Gage will be an amazing big brother. *HUGS*


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