Life Is Just So Daily

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Papa's Wish.

My Papa passed away this morning.

We've had an exhausting week.
He was put on hospice this past Friday.

I was going through pictures to give to my cousin, and found the picture that Gage inquired about when we were packing to move...

That's my Papa on the left.
Long before he was my Papa, or even knew that he'd ever be my Papa.

...and of course it makes me reflect on the conversation that Gage & I had about the picture....
"But it doesn't look like Papa."
Well, he was much younger then.
"He wanted to be a grandpa when he grew up? And he got his wish!!!????"
Yes, buddy. Something like that. He got his wish.

He was the best grandfather.
He may not have been the most affectionate husband.
He may not have been the perfect dad.
But he wasn't my husband, and he wasn't my dad.
He was my Papa, and he was perfect at being just that!

I was a little girl without a grandpa when my mom & dad got married.
I didn't know what it was to have a grandpa.

With a grandpa, you have someone who somehow instantly knows how to fix stuff {stuff="anything"}, and is willing to do it.

You have someone who knows that there are two ways to do anything/everything: the wrong way, and Papa's way.

You have someone who will DO your art weaving project for you at 9 o'clock at night the night before it's due, right after you've cried, pitched a fit, and given up.

You have someone who will build a little girl a dollhouse, bug house, and set up an organic garden in the backyard that is her very own{knowing full well that she'd never water it enough!}...

You have someone who readily admitted that he didn't have a clue how to help me with my college Chemistry homework...but he'd damn sure pay someone to help that little girl just to keep her from crying about it!

You have someone who never had a little girl, and wasn't quite sure what to do when she started her period FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME while her parents were out of town and her grandmother was out. This was the man who went to the store & bought one of every feminine hygeine product that was on the shelf. While he may have had the best of intentions---that little girl was even more freaked out & overwhelmed! But man---wasn't that love???

And his cooking....oh, his cooking. My love for Beef Wellington started with Papa. Everyone else loved his rolls...and yes, they were good. But his hot-water-cornbread was my favorite.
The last time he made his rolls for us...Thanksgiving 2009

There's so much more about my Papa that I just can't type tonight.
Just know that he wasn't perfect in the sense of having no faults or flaws....but he was perfect to me. And I was lucky to have him love me.

I don't know what he always wanted to be when he grew up.
I'll just flatter myself & think that his answer was "a grandpa."



At 10:01 PM , Blogger Kate said...

I'm pretty sure he'd say that he was lucky to have you love him. What a beautiful tribute to your Papa. I'm so sorry for your loss, Lainey.

At 3:14 AM , Blogger Beth said...

What wonderful memories you have. I know you will always treasure them - that does help.
Hugs, prayers and love to you at this very sad and difficult time.

At 5:11 AM , Blogger Rikki said...

I am sitting her crying like a baby. My Papa's (yes, that's what we called him too) birthday was March 31st. He died 3 years ago. I thought about him for a second when I first wrote the date two days ago but reading your post made me think about him again the way that I should and wish that I did more often. I am so sorry for your loss. You're precious. I am thankful to call you friend. Know you are in my prayers.

At 8:55 AM , Blogger Valerie said...

Oh Lainey, I am so sorry for your loss.

At 11:25 AM , Blogger Zephra said...

I am so sorry Laine. You know I cried with you the other day.

At 11:55 AM , Blogger TwinsanityMom said...

So sorry for your loss Laine. There is nothing more special than a grandparent... who else is going to dote on you all the time. :) Prayers for you during this difficult time.

At 12:57 PM , Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

I am so sorry. He sounds like a wonderful Papa, and I'm so glad that you have great memories of him and your time with him.
(One of my grandfather's has Alzheimer's and this made me think of how he used to be, and remember what a wonderful grandfather he was.)

At 1:14 PM , Blogger Mummy M said...

So sorry for your loss. Both F and me have lost our last remaining grandparents in the last year. We will always have wonderful memories of long lives full of love. They live on in the hearts of those who remember them.

At 4:35 PM , Blogger LauraC said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have so many wonderful memories that you will be able to share for years.

At 5:15 PM , Blogger nycgirl0501 said...

My deepest condolences to you and your family. He sound like he was a wonderful man and a great grandpa. He will always be in your heart. Hugs to you xoxo.

At 5:25 PM , Blogger Erica said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

At 6:09 PM , Blogger Rob said...

Thank you for giving me a tiny but lovely glimpse of a good man. You are in my prayers Lainey.

At 9:37 PM , Blogger Chris H said...

Grandpa's are special people.
Sorry your Grandpa has passed on.

At 9:46 AM , Blogger kim-d said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Papa, Lainey. How very fortunate you were to have each other, and were able to make the memories that you will ALWAYS have!

At 7:08 AM , Blogger Just Jiff said...

I'm so sorry! I'm crying reading this, too.


At 9:50 AM , Blogger Judy said...

This is so eloquent. I'm so sorry for your loss. Praying for comfort and peace for you and your family.

At 5:14 PM , Blogger lisa said...

I'm so sorry. He sounded like a great Papa.

At 12:03 PM , Blogger Carina said...

Thank you for introducing us to your Papa, and allowing us to share your grief. My Papa died two years ago, and it still hurts. I have one grandfather still alive, and I want to go hug him.

At 6:30 PM , Blogger Heidi said...

So sad for you loss. You were lucky to have each other. My thoughts are with you and your family.

At 8:53 AM , Blogger JoAnna said...

This is an extremely well written post. I wish you all condolences.


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