Life Is Just So Daily

Tuesday, January 15, 2008


So, in my attempt to make sure that Monday evening was not a total loss, I decided to use the AMC gift card that we have, and take Baby Gage to the movies.

1/14/8: Gage's first trip to see a movie in a movie theatre.
Movie: Alvin & The Chipmunks.

His first movie ever is rated PG. (I know, I'm hardcore. What ever happened at starting with the G movies? G...standing for "gateway" movies...ease the kids on in for the harder PG. I'm sure he'll have a crack pipe by Friday, right?)

Anyway....not only am I hardcore like that, I also am piss-poor w/ regard to research. I had no idea that Alvin & the Chipmunks was not a fully animated feature film. It's got human beings in it & the chipmunks are the animated part. Well...I rather think that a fully animated film would have kept his attention longer...but hey---I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Back up: we're in line to buy the tickets for our 6:50 showing. I get a student discount w/ my student ID. Wooohoo---go me. But Gage---his 2 year old self should be free. He was not. It was $15 for the 2 of us to get in. Add popcorn & a bottle of water at $9.50 & say bye-bye to the gift card. (okay, okay---there's still a fifty cent credit on there....)

Go in...find our seats....there are about 10 people in the theatre---total. A few commented on Gage being cute & I let them know that this was his first movie experience, and that I did not know how well it would go.... So, at least they were warned....and I hoped for the best.

Previews were fine..."pa-corn" was consumed. And then....the movie started.
Gage happily gave a free commentary for those who may have been visually impaired. In fact, it was quite loud too, b/c Gage clearly did not want to exclude anyone who may be hard of hearing.

"That's a truck. Did you see? Mommy, Look! Look at that Truck!"
"There's a car! Look at that red car!"
"Look at that tree! Look at that! It's a Christmas tree!"
"What's that? What's that, Mommy?"

good times....

We ran into a few problems w/ the rolling commentary. Gage did finally settle into not narrating for the audience....but, there were 2 things on the screen that Gage just couldn't seem to understand that the items were not really THERE in the theatre. Without giving the whole story away (yeah right---like I saw the whole movie...dream on), at one point, the Chipmunks are in Dave's cupboard. The doors open, and he has a bag of Goldfish in there among his other pantry items. Well, nothing would do....Gage WANTED those Goldfish. Last time I checked (...oh, and that would be just a few hours ago), AMC does not sell Goldfish among their fat-filled snacks. Next thing that really didn't sit well with Gage: on the screen, Dave is flipping channels on his TV. He goes past a Discovery Channel show or...some show that has a SNAKE on it. Well, on the movie screen---the snake know--huge. Gage didn't like THAT at all. So---I had to calm him down about that....

Speaking of calming people down....something else happened in the theatre that was completely WEIRD. Like, totally crazy pervert WEIRD. So, like I said---there were only about 10 people in the theatre at the start of the movie. About 20 minutes into the movie, an 11th person entered. He entered to my left....crossed completely to the right side of the theatre, and started up the aisle. He entered our row. We were sitting toward the left of the theatre. We were not sitting in the center of our row. He walked ALL the way down our row, and sat in the empty seat RIGHT NEXT TO MY SON. Who does THAT? So, I gave him one of those, "you move, or I'm going to move" looks. I mean, of aaaaallllllll the empty seats in there, and he sits WITH us---like we're a party of 3? No thanks. So we moved. Up & behind him. Why??? Because I wanted to keep an eye on him..... about 10 or 15 minutes later---the man left. WHAT A FREAK-O!

Anyway....about 40 minutes after the movie started....Gage was ready to go. "I wanna get down & go THAT door." So....we left the movie & started walking around the mall...seeing all the glorious sites...and we saw a woman JOGGING. Jogging IN the mall. Sweatsuit, headphones, the work. Again---who DOES that? I'm aware of mall-walkers....but mall-joggers. That was new to me.

Got home...brushed our our jammies on....& went to snuggle in bed before bed. Gage started complaining of his head being cold. He wanted a hat. So, I got him warm snuggly hat. We snuggled in under the covers. Then, he started complaining of a tummy ache. Within minutes----we were both covered in puke. LOVELY.

So, it was into the tub for us. Bless his heart....he threw up about 4 times in my bed & on both of us before we made it to the tub. He had chunks of puke coming out of his nose. It was sooooo yucky.

So, we took a bath. Together.

Back up: on Sunday, we took a bath together. After his comments, I decided that it was going to be our last bath together. Here's why:
Gage: "Mommy, you don't have a penis?"
Me: "No, Gage, I don't."
Gage: "You lost it? You lost your penis?"
Me: "No, I didn't lose it...I just don't have one."

Fast forward back to Monday night....So, we're taking a bath with grape bubble bath. Gage is shivering & whiny from puking....We're in the tub....and even though he feels like crap---he has to look for Mommy's penis.
Gage: "Mommy, you don't have a penis?"
Me: "No Gage, God gives each BOY a penis, but not the girls. Mommy is a girl."
Gage: "You lost it? You put it in the 'cycle bin?" (as in, 'recycle bin')
I just CRACKED up. Around here, I'm kind of known as the Recycling Nazi. I'm all over it, and if you throw away a tin can---I WILL go into the trashcan after it! Anyway....Gage thinks I've recycled my penis. So funny!

Daddy had to cut his poker night short, and he hit the store for anti-emetics & pedialyte. Gage snuggled in under my arm. "I wanna put my head on Mommy's BOOB." He lays his head on my boob & falls asleep within just a few minutes. That was about midnight last night.

Now---it's 9:30 am....everyone is still asleep but me. AAAAhhhhh....the golden moments.



At 9:07 AM , Blogger Christy said...

The story about the guy in the theater totally freaked me out. What a weirdo.

At 10:37 AM , Blogger Laura said...

recycle bin...too funny!

strange about the weirdo!

I brought my boys (just turned 3 and just turned 4) to the veggie tale movie - it was lots of fun - and my son kept leaning forward and yelling to his brother - THIS IS A GREAT MOVIE, EH?

Thanks for sharing1

At 10:52 AM , Blogger Steph said...

That is a long, interesting night. And the recycle bin and penis thing is just too much! I love it.

I have never heard of mall-joggers either. There are definitely some strange people in the world. And that psycho that sat next to you, I don't think I would have been able to keep my mouth shut! WEIRDO for sure!

Hope Gage is feeling better.

At 12:10 PM , Blogger Stacie said...

the first movie is always difficult. My almost 4 year old has a hard time not falling asleep...but, um, I paid an ungodly amount for his seat to WATCH the movie, NOT SLEEP.


I hope Gage is feeling better, poor guy.

Recyclin your penis for the greater good of the earth...hmmm...not a bad thought

At 12:27 PM , Blogger Beth said...

Life with a two year old - one adventure after another!

Hope the little guy is better.

At 1:08 PM , Blogger Family Adventure said...

The guy in the movie theatre was freaky. Good for you for moving.

Recycling penis -- I can't wait to hear what kind of google hits that'll generate! :)


At 1:11 PM , Blogger Elaine said...

oh my...the obsession with the penis continues. too funny. i'll bet you about died!

At 2:25 PM , Blogger Judy said...

Good for you for moving - what a weirdo!

Try the new VeggieTales flick. Both my 3 yo and my 8 yo LOVED it. It was Tyler's second movie ever and he was completely enthralled (after I pried his hands off of his ears - he wasn't keen on the volume).

At 3:16 PM , Blogger Tara said...

Okay. That guy at the movie theater was a total weirdo. What a creep!!!

You recycled your penis...too funny!

At 4:08 PM , Blogger Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Boys want boobs at any age - things never change!!!

Love the recycle the penis comment!! :-)


At 4:59 PM , Blogger Pregnantly Plump said...

I hope Gage is feeling better and that you guys don't end up catching it.
That's so funny about the penis recycling.
I babysat a little girl once who told me she had a vagina, asked if I had one and then told me her mother didn't.

At 5:58 PM , Blogger ~love said...

seriously...your life cracks me up. i was totally frustrated at being back to work, getting out way too late, then having a meeting and only see my girls an hour before bed.....
you can't take any of that away, but you certainly brightened my day! =)

and seriously, the movie creep & JOGGING in the mall?! what is up w/ that?!

At 5:19 AM , Blogger mpotter said...

freaky guy.
funny "goldfish" comments.
loved that you said "tin" can.... we grew up saying that, too!

what a long day it seems like. lots to mention in your blog. very interesting read.

i didn't go to my first movie till i was 5. it was my bday. movie? grease. (don't worry. i still have yet to use a crack pipe. or even cigarettes)

At 6:36 AM , Blogger Not So Perfect said...

I love this post so many funny comments.

I probably would have called 911 on that creepy guy. Why did he do that? I don't even want to know, but way to be assertive.

At 9:04 AM , Blogger Beth said...

ok, that guy in the movie is CREEPY!!! weirdo!!!

but poor little Gage....and he is such a sweetie!!!


At 10:29 AM , Blogger kimmy said...

That guy sounds creepy...I would have moved too!

I took my daughter to see Alvin and the Chipmunks and she loved it!


At 12:33 PM , Blogger Not So Perfect said...

I love the idea you gave Christy about the penny timeline. Do you think you could take pictures and send it to me. My e-mail address is I would really appreciate it. No big hurry just when you find the time. Or even just explain to me exactly how you did it. How did you find the pennies and matting and framing ideas and what not. I am not creative in any sense of the word. I need all the help I can get. Thank you.

At 12:38 PM , Blogger Sherry said...

ROFL!!! I love it when kids start to clue in and ask questions...though my boys never asked me if I put my penis in the recycle bin!!! LOL!! They were consumed with interest that I didn't have one though!!

creepy, creepy that guy coming in and sitting beside he goes to theatres all the time and does that to kids...did you say anything to management? I think I'd have wanted them to be on the look-out for the guy in future.

First time at the movies with children is always youngest wouldn't go until he was about 5...he tried a few times and hated it...found the sound way too loud for his ears..and now at 16 he puts his iPod to Max in his "tender" ears!!!

At 12:35 PM , Blogger Bonnie said...

o funny about the bath comments. I have considered limiting Jack too because he has this interest in my chest (you know what I'm saying) and how it is different from his.

And I took Jack to see Chipmunks too. I'm amazed Gage was as patient in the movie as he was. Jack and his friend were laughing so loud...but there were a lot of kids there so I didn't feel nervous about their level of noise. And no perverts! Good for you, moving away from him. What was that all about???

At 5:02 PM , Blogger Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Thanks for visiting over at my place! I was reading back a little ways on your blog and this post CRACKED ME UP. Dude, you are BRAVE to take your kid to the movies. I've had moments when I've thought about it, then my sanity returned and I went on my merry way.

What up with the theater stalker? Really? Who does that? Much confused.

Oh, and you should always throw your boy bits in the trash, never recycle them. That would be gross.

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