Life Is Just So Daily: One year without Riley.

My nephew, Riley, died one year ago today.

That night, around 7pm, my aunt stopped by my house. Pleasant surprise, I thought. But, actually--she came to give me the bad news, and apparently nobody wanted me to hear it over the phone, or be alone when I heard it. They didnt know if Damon was home from work or not.

It was on the news and ruled an accident. Apparently, during naptime, Riley went outside & locked himself in the car. He was found a couple of hours later when my brother-in-law went to wake him & his brother from their nap. He wasnt in his room, and so my brother-in-law went outside and found him in the car, locked in, sitting in his carseat. He was just sitting there--& looked like he was sleeping. My sister said they called 911 around 3 or 3:30 when they found him....but it was too late.

My sister said that they did not take Riley to a hospital & attempt to resusitate him, because paramedics were unable to do anything at the scene. My sister said that there were news crews everywhere. She said that they put Riley in a bassinet & covered him with a blanket before transporting him to the ME's office.

Services were on September 11th.
He was buried in blue jeans, a blue button up shirt, and no socks or shoes. He didnt like them!

He had blonde hair. He had this heart...he'd crawl across the room just to sit in your lap. He gave big wet sloppy kisses, and they were sometimes hurried so that he could rush off to catch up with his big brother.

I've had many a moment where I cant bear to think about him taking his last breaths by himself. I was there in the delivery room the day that baby was born. The very moment he was born. I was there for his very first breath. My sister said that she was told by someone at the scene (medical personnell--a police officer--I dont know) that he likely died in his sleep. Apparently, you get so hot & get sleepy & then just go to sleep. Is this true?? I dont know. I'd like to believe it, just as my sister would.

One of my last memories of Riley was in the pool at Camp Wanica, and he was wearing this life vest suit thing. He'd get out of the pool---run over to the fence, and then run & jump into the water.
I can picture his little bright suit, his wet hair, the water making his little arm muscles glisten as he used his strength to hold on to his mom's hands in the water as he was kicking his feet underneath...trying so hard to swim like a big boy or really, just stay afloat! It's like I can almost feel that moment in the pool... The heat of the day, the cool of the water, the energy he exerted and the excitement & contentment he expressed...

So anyway...it's been one year.
I think about him all the time.
Today is an anniversary, but it's not like I just started missing him today. It's a constant, and as I watch my child grow, I think of him & his very short life.

So today---hug your little ones----check your window locks----always lock your car doors, even if it is securely parked in a garage or driveway---or wherever!

Nana misses you Riley!