Firestone Folly

Just keep this in mind as you read the following story:

syn·thet·ic
adj.
1. Relating to, involving, or of the nature of synthesis.
2. Chemistry Produced by synthesis, especially not of natural origin.
3. a. Not natural or genuine; artificial or contrived: "counterfeit rhetoric that flourishes when passions are synthetic" (George F. Will).
b. Prepared or made artificially: synthetic leather. See Synonyms at artificial.
4. Linguistics Relating to or being a language, such as Latin or Russian, that uses inflectional affixes to express syntactic relationships.
5. Logic & Philosophy Relating to or being a proposition that attributes to a subject a predicate not inherent in the subject and that does not result in a contradiction if negated.



So, on Saturday, I took my car to Firestone for an oil change.
I was taking some initiative...tending to something that I've for years mentally categorized as 'man work.'

Well, of course, little ol' me ends up being the talk of Firestone that day {and probaby for several days after}....

FSM = Firestone Man.

Conversation at the Firestone:
FSM: "Is that a 2.5 or 3.0?"
Me: "A 2.5 or 3.0 WHAT?"
FSM: "Engine."
Me: "It's silver."
FSM: "Not the car, the engine."
Me: "Yeah, it's silver." {Because hello---my car's not silver. It's more of a gun-metal gray. I bet you call khaki things "brown" too, don't you? Stupid man.}
FSM: "I'll just go take a look."
Me: I said nothing, but mentally I'm thinking, 'I already flippin' told you it's silver.'
Anyhow...the whole 2.5 or 3.0 has to do with size or something.

FSM: "Have you been here before?"
Me: "I haven't. Maybe my car has, but I haven't."
FSM---he starts looking it up in the computer. My name of course turns up nothing, but my husband's name pops up with something. He's waiting for the screen to load...

FSM: "Now, on the oil change do you want the...blah blah blah....or full synthetic?"
Me: "I don't want the synthetic. I want real oil."
FSM: "What?"
Me: "Synthetic sounds fake. I want REAL oil."
He laughed.
Me: "Really. I don't want synthetic hair, or synthetic food, or synthetic leather. It's all fake."

Screened popped up, and apparently my car HAD been there before, and of course it showed that my husband got the oil change with full synthetic.
Apparently the synthetic is better for the car, and I just told the guy, "Well, if that's what he got before, let's just do that again."

So, it was his first time to ever hear of anyone referring to the full synthetic oil change as using "fake oil."

So, if you see me driving around town, just know that I'm sittin' there hoping that nobody can tell the difference between the real deal & my "fake oil!"