Life Is Just So Daily

Monday, May 21, 2007


So, we got back from Savannah on Monday night.

Went & got Gage Tuesday morning.
He had a pediatrician appointment late that I knew it would be a rough afternoon.

Decided to make his morning cheery by taking him SWIMMING.

Oh, that boy just loves the water!

He can get out of the pool by himself, but he doesn't go in by himself (thank goodness!)

"Hey ladies. How you doin'?"

After that...home for a nap....
Up & away to the Pediatrician's office.
Which...well, pi$$ed me off, to tell the truth.

In fact, I've got a whole new phrase after that day...
"Boo ya! You got RITZ'd! How'd ya like that, Biotch?"

Scene: I enter the waiting room with my child.
My appointment time (I use that phrase loosely), was for 3pm. We arrived just before 2:45.
I was told by "Theresa" at the front desk that our insurance is no longer valid, and coverage on my child ended at the end of January '07, and..."I hope you brought your new card."
To which I responded, "no, that's incorrect. we are covered through my employer, and I assure you the coverage is still the same."
Theresa: "Can I see your new card?"
Me: "I don't have a new card. The coverage is still through the same provider, and you've got the information on file. You guys need to call the 1-800 # to verify coverage, because I assure you, it's still valid."
Theresa: "Well, I need to see the card."
Me: "You have the numbers in his chart."
Theresa: "I don't have them right here with me."
Thought Bubble Above My Head: You F*&#@'in Lazy A$$ B*tch. I have a ONE YEAR OLD pulling on my pants trying to get me to look at the "pish", and he's screaming & you're too F*&#@'in lazy to go get his insurance information. You suck.

So...we get that settled. And, I was so worn out after talking with her & going through barely even felt very good being right.

So, the new waiting room is divided into 2 sections. Cool, I thought. 2 play areas, 2 sides of the "pish" tank...more seating.

Theresa rears her attitude around the corner.
Theresa: "Well, is he sick or well?"
Me: "He's well. We're just here for a check-up."
Theresa: "Well, Mom, you have him sitting on the WRONG side with all of these SICK kids."
Me: (and yes, I get props for saying this outloud to her) "You didn't specify that there is a well side or a sick side, and there is no sign. How was I supposed to know the difference? But hey---I'm glad we got that insurance thing figured out."

Of course, I got a glare from her.
My ONE year old throws fits about every 20 to 30 minutes. One nasty look from her wasn't about to do anything to me.

After that...we trek over to the well side. We were there for all of about 30 seconds before Gage had 2 little girls crying.

See...he doesn't play much with other LITTLE kids. (and by little, I mean, under the age of 10).
So, he takes one little girls Webkin dog (yeah, I got to hear all about that crap...webkins...whatever), and he took another little girls Polly Pocket (props to me---I actually knew what that was. I also knew that within 5 seconds my child could have swallowed Polly & the pocket she came in!)
So, I have to take the toys from him---return them to their rightful owners, and we all got to listen to the screaming & crying that followed.
Until he was pleasantly distracted by another girl who came in for a check-up.
Oh, she was about 14 years old, taller than me, long brown hair & a cute smile.
Gage was smitten.
He went & got a magazine & took it to her.
"Caring for your Newborn". (Please don't let her need that magazine!)
Anyway, she politely thanked him & flipped through the pages filled with ads for breast pumps & diaper cream while Gage climbed up into the chair next to her.
He sat straight up with his legs straight out; the toes of his little feet hanging over the edge of the seat.
He had his little hands resting on his knees while he smiled up at her as if he was waiting for a report on the reading material he had provided.
Oh, it was so cute.

Then, it was our turn.

Got checked into our undressed down to the diaper in the mega-cool (cold kind of cool, not fun kind of cool) exam room. 26.6 pounds, and hungry. Mommy tries to distract, thinking we'll be out of here soon. I have a baggie of crackers in my purse, but they just finished the office remodel, and I don't want to get crumbs all over the place....surely, he'll be in here JUST ANY SECOND.

At 3:45, we'd only been weighed. Still cold. Still hungry. Still undressed.
At that point, I busted out the crackers.
Screw 'em.
They get what they deserve. If Gage gets crumbs in the carpet---oh well. Maybe one of Theresa's tasks is to vaccuum at the end of the night. Hmmm...
And, I resigned that if the pediatrician had not entered the room by 4pm, I was going to dress Gage & walk out. Furthermore, I'd ask the people there to cut me a check for $50. Afterall, that's how much I owe if I don't show up for an appointment.
My time is valuable too. My time is worth something too. I was fully prepared to freaking leave, and DARE them to try to charge me for something. 2-3 minutes to 4, in comes the pediatrician.

He's so nice, and so patient with everyone. He's so good with Gage.
Why don't I speak up?
Why don't I say---hey, I really like coming to you---but don't book so many people on the same day if you aren't going to be able to keep up with your caseload? It's awesome that I get your undivided attention when you're in here. I'm sure that's why you CONSTANTLY run behind. All of us parents are so lucky to get your time. But don't spread yourself so thin that you end up pissing people off! And, in the future, I won't assume that I have an actual appointment at 3pm. Instead, I'll just take that as a SUGGESTED ARRIVAL TIME.

So, I didn't speak up to him.
Thought about sending a the end, instead of putting it in writing, we put it in Ritz.
Gage had crumbs from one end of that room to the other.
And....because I was mad....I didn't pick up a darn thing...

I'm sure poor Gage's chart is flagged...
It's like that episode of Seinfeld where Elaine wants to read what's written about her in her medical record...
It all goes back to Seinfeld!

Pediatrician update:
Ht: 34 inches
Wt: 26.6 pounds
Head Circ.: I forget. I don't pay much attention to this one. Doc never seems worried.

Got 1 shot.
Ears look good.
Teeth are coming in.
Pedi suggested 1 Pediasure shake per day.
So far, Gage wants me to open the vanilla ones...but refuses to drink them.
He will drink the chocolate.
I've tried both. I wouldn't drink either one!



At 8:55 AM , Blogger Da Mommy said...

I'm glad you enjoyed Savannah, it's such a wonderful city to visit (even though I went in January it was still fabulous!!) Hope Gage was too sleepy from his frolic in the pool to notice much that you were at the pediatricians!

At 5:28 PM , Blogger amyerj said...

I hate when doctor's double book. The should offer you a free meal or overnight comps just like the airlines do. Way to go on the cracker mess - that'll show 'em.

At 12:35 PM , Blogger Mojavi said...

OMG you crack me up! I am glad you didn't clean up, and I would pay money to have your comebacks! YOu really are on point :)


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