Life Is Just So Daily

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Big CHANGES around here...

Wow. It's been a while since I've blogged...and it's been over a month since we've had a big change around here.....

My husband's taking a year off from his job...his career....a year off. A year at home. He resigned from his position and he is going to be spending a year at home, here with us.

Let the adventures begin!

Really....the growing pains....the getting used to each other being here all day every day...we've gotten that pretty well under control. I can't say that we've worked out any kind of routine yet. To be perfectly honest, I kind of miss the old morning routine: Get up with Gage, get him set up in the tub, get Sister up, nurse her while Gage gets ready for school, out the door to take him to school, come back home and start in the kitchen {coffee going while she plays in her high chair, then sip coffee with the tv on while I feed her baby food, then do dishes before she gets fussy and wants down from the chair}. I kind of miss that whole routine.

Now, there's not really a morning routine, and there still could be... What's wonderful now: sometimes Damon gets up with the kids and I get to sleeeeeep and I wake up, and it's 8:30-something, and I feel like a whole new woman! Most days, I get up early with the kiddos and Hubby gets out of bed to drive Gage to school, and we don't even have to get Eliette out in the mornings.

We've both started these next 12 months with an excitement for home improvement projects and the best of intentions. What seems to be happening so far: I want to do what I want to do, and what I want to do is all of the stuff I haven't been able to do with a baby on my hip or pulling on my pant leg. Damon wants to do what he wants to do, and what he wants to do is all of the stuff he never had the time or energy to do before because he was working and traveling all of the time.

BUT---he has been so sweet to build me the shelves and desk that I wanted, and put the baby cabinet locks on the kitchen cabinets because our daughter is into EVERYTHING, and a few other projects that were important to me. Now, he's working on staining the fence (when it's not too wet or windy), and sanding & staining an outdoor table... Just different little stuff....

We have to get into a groove. We have to work out a routine, which is surprisingly challenging, given the fact that you have two adults here with one infant for the majority of the time, while Brother is away at school.
We've already determined that we just have to clearly communicate with each other and not just assume that the other will be available to watch the baby, or be home for this/that/or the other.

So....there are so many facets to this change for us.

Financially: certainly things are not the same as they were, as income has decreased and we are taking on more expensive health care coverage. But Hubby's got it figured out, and says that I do not need to go back to work full time to make this work. Ummmm, okay. I still work PRN, so it's nice to have that option.

How it is affecting our marriage: (could be summed up as 'the good, the bad, & the ugly.') Let's face it: change is hard! Alone time? What's that? I think that as I type this, we've really come through the most challenging part of getting used to each other being home all the time, and communicating more. It is nice to have more time to just pack the baby up and go to Home Depot or Lowes to get what we need for a project.... That's nice. Hubby has also come to realize that there is A LOT OF HOUSEWORK that goes into keeping this place from becoming completely filthy! I think he's grown to appreciate my hard work all this time a bit more. That's a plus! The bad/ugly: when you are in a tiff, there's a lot more opportunity to say ugly things, and it's harder to just avoid each other to cool off! Hey, we can't always, and won't always agree on everything, right? The good news: ample opportunities to make up, and make the other person's day better.

How it is affecting our parenting: Oh my goodness! This is the best part so far. We get more one-on-one time with each child. Both of us. Seriously, this is the best part of all of this so far. I will say, I wish I had more one-on-one time with Gage, but we're working on it. I've seriously had to sort through some of my own expectations and priorities to realize that I've got to get a little more into Pokemon and the things that are cool to him---instead of hoping/trying/praying to get him into what is a bit more interesting to me. It's something I'm going to continue to work on. In this whole life change for us, I have been able to see the most positive changes in this area so far. Gage's playing select ball this Spring. So time consuming. We're able to swing all of that more easily than a lot of other families. That's a blessing.

So----this is our big change. Damon's taking a year off from his career, and focusing on the family and home life for now. It's CRAZY-DIFFERENT. There is a plan that goes beyond this year, but that's not necessarily the focus now. As this year at home nears its end, the focus will shift to planning for the future and mapping out all of the next steps....but for now, this is the plan. I tend to worry about the here and now, and Damon reassures me that the here & now is going to be just fine, but it's the big picture that we're changing.

I could freak out.
I've actually already freaked out.

What I found completely reassuring: when word got out in his industry, our phone was ringing off the hook and he had multiple job offers right away. I believed him when he said that we would be okay, but of course, with a change like this---doubt creeps in. The fear of failure creeps in. Fear of regret creeps in. Fear of judgement creeps in. All of those things creep in, or at times, come flooding in {to be perfectly honest,} if only for a brief time.

I've been like a pendulum swinging between "Oh-my-goodness-I'm-so-freaked-out" and "what-a-blessing-this-is!" I reserve the right to keep swinging, but I hope that when we look back over this year, we are nothing but grateful and truly appreciate it as a blessing. Damon reminds me that even though we had a good thing going, the plan is for something better.

So that's it.
Our biggest news.
New adventures underway.



At 11:33 AM , Blogger Judy said...

This is completely AWESOME! What a gift to give each other...time. A whole year! Congrats!

At 4:55 PM , Blogger LauraC said...

Wowzers! That is going to be a year to remember. Love the good and the bad.

At 2:06 PM , Blogger Mom & Dad said...

enjoy your time.
The Mr. travels a lot; and when he's home, he usually works from home. in his office w/ no door. behind our LR.
it took a LONG time for us to get used to this. and little bean has grown from a baby to a KDG'er.
it works pretty well most of the time. in fact, he just traveled for the first time in a month. and now i miss him (:

good luck working it out.
the kids will love it!

At 2:08 PM , Blogger mpotter said...

oh how funny- that is an old old old old blog that is now defunct- didn't realize i was on The Mr.'s old account for some reason.



Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home