Life Is Just So Daily

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Visiting Mema....

Posting all of this now, knowing how the story ends, is just so weird and though these events are being chronicled here on the blog in the relative order in which they happened (though admittedly I'm weeks behind real life in reporting on events), it just seems weird to post about visiting with Mema in the final weeks of her life, knowing that these pics and posts were so close to her death. All the while, this was our reality at the time. These were our events. we were...making the most of things. Making the most of our time.

We were visiting with Mema as much as we could when she was awake. We were visiting with Darnin, who was caring for her mother.We let Eliette play around our feet and around Mema's bed. How much of Mema's life was spent with "little ones" around? She was one of 10 children, and then had 7 daughters of her own. I'm mid-thirties, and I'm the youngest grand-child. So, you can imagine---the lifetime of siblings, children, neices, nephews, neighborhood kids, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and so on.... All of the kids that patted about around her, and all of the kids that she cared for and loved.... Kids around her was nothing new!

 Entertaining Little Miss in the room was difficult, but we managed...and then she found money.
 Then two of my aunts arrived, and they really got things going.

Then my uncle, two of my cousins, and three of my second cousins arrived. That's when things really got fun for Eliette!

 As our visit with Mema was ending, we were so lucky to all leave together and go out to eat. Our family is so large and getting together is just something we all love. To so many outside of our family, it's both beautiful and bizarre---when we get together, we don't ever want it to end. We love to laugh and joke, and share stories, and catch up, and watch each others' kids learn and laugh, and hug and console one another, and support each other...and all of those things. Or, at least that's how I feel. I don't want to be the first to leave ANY family anything! I don't want those things to ever end. But---alas, bedtimes call, and Mondays roll around, and we all have to go back to our regular lives until we reconvene again....

But, even in the midst of my grandmother's aging body and decline---in those visits we were able to find joy and love and that longing to hold and comfort one another. I'm so blessed to be a part of this family.

There were more visits with Mema before she passed away. So, I'm sure I'll chronicle those too...but let me just say---my mom and aunts are amazing. They cared for my Mema in her home for as long as they could physically. Then, when she had to be in a care facility and go onto hospice---they were still there with her. Mema required 24 hour supervision, and they were there. My poor mom would work 5 days a week, load up on Friday after work, drive to Mema's town, and stay through the weekend until Sunday night. She'd drive home to sleep, and wake up Monday morning to start her week over again. If you asked her about how tired she was or if it was draining or anything like that---she quickly chimed in with "I'm lucky to spend this time with my mom," and "I can't leave my sisters alone to do it; they are so tired," or "I'm happy to do it; it's my mom. I want to be there." I've worried so much about my mom and aunts during this chapter of our family's story. They gave to the point of exhaustion, and then managed to keep going. They are just rockstars. Amazing rockstars.

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At 6:44 AM , Blogger Patty said...

I am so sorry for you loss. My heart goes out to you and your family. {{{ hugs}}}

At 12:28 PM , Blogger LauraC said...

You hit the family jackpot, lucky lady. Of course maybe that is why you are awesome!


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