Life Is Just So Daily

Friday, December 31, 2004

Happy New Year's Eve!!!

Happy New Years Eve!
I'm at work. I dont have much time to type...

but, let me just say...I'm ready for 2005. 2004 brought me a new house, but I am ready to roll right on into the new year, and I am excited to think about all the new things it is going to be. Good, bad, ugly...whatever...let's get it!

It's almost 3pm, and I am finally having lunch. I'm dining on a classic tuna salad sandwich on a multigrain harvest bread with the prettiest green leafy lettuce. I'm washing it all down with my sparkling grapefruit Izze. Ahhhhh!

Today, I'm the only social worker here. I've been pretty busy.

I did however take the time to balance my checkbook & mail the house payment. Checkbook part--not so much fun. Let's all remember: I'm a social worker!!! Mailing of the house payment...again, not so much fun, but alas necessary if I want to continue having a roof over my head.

Went to the movies last night. Saw "Darkness" finally. Let me just say, I think I built it up in my head way too much. Wasnt nearly as scary as I thought it would be. But---it was kind of fun in the end. Most movies end nicely where justice & good prevail. Not this one! It was unexpected, and the unexpected is always refreshing.

Finally got my hair medicine. I cant remember if I posted about this yesterday or not. But, the meds I need are not covered by my insurance. That sucks.
So, I am talking to a representative there asking about the meds--and first I was told that what I have is not a "medical condition". explain to me how it's not a "medical condition" if it has a "medical diagnosis". Stupid freak. Got her on that one. She tried to talk her way out of it, but I told her that she needed to choose her words carefully because what she was saying just didnt make any damn sense. Then, she was getting flustered at my persistence. know, looking back, I know that I took it out on some poor girl who just handles bitching & moaning all day I am sure...and I know that there is really nothing she could probably do about it anyway--I mean, what's she going to do--rewrite the insurance policy &/or the drug formulary...doubtful. Anyway... she later told me in the conversation, and I quote: "Well, having hair is really 'optional'."
***************** What? ******************
(1) God exercized (sp?) his option when he put it on my freaking head.
(2) My husband exercizes his option to shave his off.
(3) I'm about to exercise my option to PULL YOURS OUT!
When she said that to me--I about hit the roof. Are you kidding me?
So...I asked if birth control pills are covered. No.
So...I asked if Levitra &/or Viagra are covered. Yes.
For those that dont know---Levitra & Viagra are used for erectile dysfunction.
So--Alopecia Areata is not a "medical condition"
Impotence is.
Having hair is "optional", but somehow having a hard-on is necessary.

I'm just so disgusted by the whole situation.

So--here we go on the meds... I'll spend just under $150/mo on this. I thought it was only going to be about $110/mo, but it turns out that one of the prescriptions is dispensed for 15 days @ a time. I should have gotten two boxes of that stuff.

I need to stop @ the grocery store on the way home.
Got to get some stuff to take to the party tonight.

My office mate, Jamie is still out sick. I have not seen her since the Tuesday before Christmas!!! I miss her!!! she is supposed to be back on Monday. Apparently she had this upper respiratory crud that is going around. Doc told her it's viral. She went home from the appt, and the next thing she knew--her ear drum ruptured. Yuck, that just seems soooooo painful. :(

anyway--I'm outta here. To return: 2005!

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Thursday, December 30, 2004

Hawaii bound!

Okay, talked with Dad. We're going to Hawaii.
Cant wait. We'll leave on 1/13 & have a long weekend. I am super excited. How long has it been since I went on a fun trip/vacation???
Well, there was the honeymoon.
Then, there was California for Legoland & the San Diego zoo.
There was supposed to be a snowboarding trip for Christmas, but that got bumped. So now, Dad & I are going to Hawaii. Yippy! I really cant even express how excited I am!

Today is Thursday. It's been a super-crazy week for me with regard to work. I'm surprised that I have time today to make this entry.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. The social work department is closed, but I am going to work it anyway. Okay...just got off the phone with my boss...I am going to work this Sunday too. Here's the deal: October of 2001 we were in a car accident (me, mom, & Allen). Now, finally, the whole issue is going to court. I have to go on...Wednesday to give my deposition. (*not excited about this, and I can practically feel more of my hair falling out just thinking about it*) So, since the deposition will take at least 1/2 a day, I am just going to take the full day off on Wednesday & work this Sunday to make up for it. That way--we'll have full weekend coverage, and I wont have to dip into my PTO!
Anyway--back to New Year's Eve. Erin & Monty (my friend & her husband) invited us to a party at Bobby & Penny's house. Bobby used to be a nurse here in the ER where I work--now he's in the PACU here. His wife is also a nurse. They live in Keller. Bobby & Monty are good friends. I met Penny @ Erin & Monty's wedding. Anyway--they want us to come over for a party that night. Since Erin & Monty live so far away from us, Damon & Monty hardly ever hang out, so it will be perfect! But...since they live so far away, we're just going to spend the night with Erin & Monty so that we wont be on the road with all the drunks on New Year's Eve. It should be fun. I wont be drinking of course because ***I may be pregnant***! Hey, you never know...

Positive thinking on the PG (pregnancy/pregnant) thing... We are TTC #1 (trying to conceive our first baby). We are on cycle #2. We are on cycle day #21, but according to my OPK (ovulation predictor kit), I O'd (ovulated) on CD (cycle day) 11. So, I could have some little cells in there trying to implant!!! I took a HPT (home pregnancy test) earlier this week & it was a BFN (big fat negative), but I am optimistic that I tested too early (*hey, I couldnt help myself!). So, anyway--the point is, I wont be drinking because I dont want to interfere with any implanting that may be going on!!! (SORRY IF THIS IS ALL TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR ANY OF YOU OUT THERE!)

What else is new? Went to Barnes & Noble last night after work & after my eye dr appt. Got a book filled with Anne Taintor prints. I think her humor is just wildly funny. Love it! I was reading some of them to mom last night. She laughed, but really--you have to see the picture & read the print to fully appreciate it.

Got a novel by Emma McLaughlin & Nicola Kraus called "Citizen Girl". They were the authors of the "The Nanny Diaries" which I thought was pretty cute. So, I am excited about reading this...It's about... oh, here's what's printed on the inside jacket of the book:
"Working in a world where a college degree qualifies her to make photocopies and color-coordinate file folders, twenty four year old Girl is struggling to keep up with the essential trinity of food, shelter, and student loans. So when she finally lands the job of her dreams, she ignores her misgivings and concentrates on getting the job done...whatever that may be."
I'm optimistic that it will be just as cute as "The Nanny Diaries."

I've been slacking on my reading & watching too much TV & too many movies lately. It's time to get back to all the wonderful books that are out there! As I was walking through the book store last night, I was thinking: no matter how many I read, there are always going to be books that I've never read, never seen, never heard of...there are always going to be stories that I've never heard, places I will never see, etc. And, with that being said, I will no longer finish a book if I am not enjoying it. For some reason, I will start a book, and then--no matter what--even if I dont like the story or the book, I feel compelled to finish it. So far there are 2 exceptions (manuals, reference books, text books, and user guides not included!): One of the Harry Potter books (#5 I think), & "Gerald's Game" by Stephen King. Now, I started these books & never finished them. I have felt guilty about this. why--no idea. But--the Harry Potter book. I read almost to the end, Harry got on my nerves--he's turned into this smart-mouth teenager & I couldnt stand to read anymore. I didnt care how it ended. "Gerald's Game"...oh, what a frustrating story. A man & a woman go to a cabin in the woods in the winter for a romantic retreat. Nobody knows they are there. Feeling frisky, the man ties the woman to the bed, they are going to...well, you know! Anyway, the woman is tied to the bed, and the man has a heart attack & dies. That's how the story starts. The more I read about that...the more frustrated I felt. Ugh, I cant even imagine being in her shoes. (well, actually she wasnt wearing I should say, I cant even imagine being in her position!)

We're going to the movies tonight. Well, we're supposed to anyway. Yes, this comment comes after my 1st or 2nd sentence in the preceeding paragraph about how I watch too many movies! Oh, the irony!
Anyway, I've been waiting for this scary movie to come out, and we attempted to see it on Christmas day, but the show was sold out. So now--Damon promised that we could go one night this week. He didnt want to on Mon/Tues, he was with buddies last night, and tomorrow night we have plans. That leaves tonight. :) Lucky me. I am so excited!!!

I've got to get back to work.

Monday, December 27, 2004

Happy Belated Christmas!'s two days after Christmas.
I'm a bit delayed.

Things I still need to do that are holiday related:
(1) Give Megan & Susan their Christmas ornaments
(2) Mail Melissa's gift...oh, and her birthday gift too!
(3) Gifts to Pop & Gammy (got 'em...need to give 'em!)
(4) Gifts to Tiff, Trystan, & Riley.

For all of you who did not get a card from us this year...well, we never sent them. That's right...I'm a lazy slacker who never got around to it. Sorry.

My last post was 12/20...what's happened since then??
Well--went to the dermatologist on Wednesday. Stress induced. That's what they say about my condition. It's triggered by stress. Sadly--I will apparently respond to high amounts of stress this same way forever. So, she says that when one spot clears up, I could develop other spots on my head. Great. Got some medicine... one pill, one mousse topical treatment, and a shampoo. Should grow back in a year. Great...

Went to the eye dr. Got contacts. Might need a different pair though because I can feel these & it seems like they move a little bit every time I blink. It feels like I have feathers stuck in my eyes. And, being the genius that I am...I brought my contact case, solution, & eye drops to work--you know, just in case I couldnt handle these contacts all day. Well, I forgot my glasses. So--I can take my contacts out if I want---but then I wont be able to see anything. Fantastic.

Wednesday as I was leaving the eye dr--it started snowing. Oh, it was wonderful! Of course now it has all melted & you dont even need a jacket when you go outside. But, on Wednesday it was wonderful! And, we took Eddie outside to play in the snow. He LOVES snow!!

Thursday...some last minute shopping...wasnt too bad.

Friday...went down to Tyler to visit Mom, David, Allen & Mario. Saw some others too. Had a great time. Damon said it was "weird" at first. But, we all got through that, or over that...or whatever. We ended up having a really good time.

Friday home late from Tyler. Came in...Damon & I opened our Christmas gifts & did our stockings (still my favorite part!).

Saturday...woke up...stayed home...we were lazy all day! Saturday night I wanted to go to the movies because there is this scary movie, "Darkness" that started on Christmas day. Well, we get dressed, get out of the house, go to the theatre, finally find a parking spot large enough for the truck, get up to the ticket line...our movie was sold out. Drats! So, we'll go see it some time this week. Damon promised!!!

Movie Reviews...since I was just writing about movies...

"Christmas Vacation 2": stupid, but funny. Humor that you dont have to think all.

"Shattered Glass": about this journalist for "The New Republic" who actually fabricated most of his stories & then gets found out... very good.

"My Life Without Me": independent type film. I may have posted about it before. Well, I loved it! I saw it again yesterday, so I am re-reviewing it for you. Loved it. Sad, but good.

"Blue Comedy Tour Rides Again": funny. Not as funny as the first one, but again--it was still funny.

"Elf": Now, I know a ton of people who love this movie. I thought it was so dumb. I ended up sending it back without even finishing it. Damon & I both thought it was stupid & just could not get into it.

"Bourne Supremacy": excellent. Very good!

"50 First Dates": cute...but, I am a total sucker for Romantic Comedies. I liked it. Damon thought it was pretty cute too.

"The Ref": bought this for Damon as one of his little Christmas gifts. A hilarious holiday movie--if you ask us!

"The Emporer's Club": good message, a little slow. I actually fastforwarded through some of it. I think that a lot of teachers will be able to relate to it. The underlying message is really very good, but the drama itself lagged. Damon was bored to tears. goodness...we watched a lot of movies this weekend!'s just about the end of another work day.
I'm outta here!!

Monday, December 20, 2004

Woohoo! I'm blogging from home!

That's right ladies & gentlemen...apparently, we now have the internet at home.
It took me....oh, about 10 minutes just to get to this point of new entry on the blog. See, we have dial up. I am just so spoiled by fast internet connections at work, and I just forgot how slow it can be with dial up. So, Damon is checking on DSL for us. That will be great.

What's new?
Well... on Friday after work I stopped by the grocery store so that Damon would have all the key ingredients to make his sister's 39th birthday dinner. Came home. Jordan, Josh, & Ramona were all at my house. Damon made his infamous herb rubbed pork tenderloin. I made the side dishes, he made the bread, we made the birthday cake. I did point out to Ramona that I had to buy TWO boxes of candles for the cake!
It was funny. :) up...Erin came over...then Erin, Ramona & I went to Sam Moon for some fun holiday stuff. Got part of Melissa's Christmas there...wont post what those parts were just in case she's reading this! Got my sister a some dragonfly hooks for the house...we'll hang keys on them. Got some shoes... Got Damon a few stocking stuffers: a two part key chain, a leather cigar case, & something else...oh, a wallet. Well, I got those things @ a nearby luggage store. He should like them.

Then, after that I met my mom in Canton & picked up Allen. We had our little hand-off. That way, Dad wouldnt have to drive all the way down there & he & Allen would have more time together.
Mom told me that Allen did a school report on the Revolutionary War & got a 100! I asked him about it & he said that he got the highest grade in the class. I played dumb for a bit and asked him to tell me about the Revolutionary War. I asked him who won & his response was: "I think you know". I said, "Well, I forgot." He said, "Um, Nana, we live in the United States of AMERICA!" He then proceeded to tell me that Washington won & that is why there are all kinds of places named after George Washington. :) He is so funny.

Then, I went to my Mother In Law's house for Damon's family Christmas. Dad hadnt left yet, so Allen came along. Damon's sister is a special education teacher. She got a big kick out of Allen. She & Linda were standing with me in the kitchen. I asked Allen about his teacher. He said that she is "petite, oh, about 4 foot 11". I asked him if she was pretty & he said yes. Then I asked him who was prettier: me or Ms.Johnson. He looked around...looked at me....looked @ Ramona & Linda...and then said, "You both are." We replied in unison: "Good answer!" It was too cute!

What else??? We left Damon's mom's house & came home. Dad came over. We had our Christmas with dad. That was great. We ordered pizza, played games, just had a really good time.

The next day, I got up earlier than Damon...snuck into the living room & wrapped a few of his gifts.... Then, I made breakfast/lunch... Then I met Dad & Allen to go see "The Polar Express". It was good. Then we went to Ross & Big Lots. Gotta love cheap shopping!!! I got a pair of pants, a pair of jeans, a top, and a skirt @ Ross. Got some misc. stuff at Big Lots. Nothing major.:) Allen got a Lava Lamp at Ross. He loves that thing. Absolutely loves it. I dont know how well it will match his bedroom decor in the new house, but I know he loves it.

And that's one thing about my dad: he'll always go shopping with me. I have no idea if he likes it or not, because he never complains about it. :) I guess I am spoiled that way, and expected my husband to take me shopping like my dad will. Somebody explained to me that there are things that dads will do for their daughters (like endure shopping) that they wont necessarily do for their wife. I know my dad is willing to go to stores, watch me pick out shoes, or books, or clothes, or whatever...then he'll hold my purse outside of the dressing room...give me his opinion when I need it... hold my bags after shopping. That's a dad thing. Whether Damon ever does that for me or with me...whatever. If it ever happens, I'll be thrilled. If it doesnt--oh well...he never does it now so life will be the same. But, I want him to do that with our daughter if we ever have one. It's fun for me as a daughter to shop with my dad. I want Damon to at least share that with our daughter(s) someday!!!

...back to my weekend...
Sunday night--visited with Pop & Gam for a little bit. Pop looks good. Gammy's not feeling so well. I'm sure she's got this crud that is going around.
Came home. Had supper (homemade chili made by my husband!) & watched Desperate Housewives. I am so glad that show exists. I just love it & look forward to it every week! I got Damon hooked too.

This morning: got up--went to work. It was sooooo crazy in the ER today. Patients just kept pouring in. I didnt get to break for lunch--I was waaaay too busy.
Came home....went to dinner with Dad. Damon's out & about tonight so Dad came over. Damon asked me to get the dishes done before Dad came over. Well--I was in the midst of dish-duty when Dad arrived. He did my dishes for me while I wiped down the counters. Ssshhhhh...dont tell Damon!!!

We're still trying to get pregnant. We are on Cycle #2, Cycle day 11. Did my little ovulation predictor thing yesterday a faint, faint positive. That just told me that it was pre-ovulation time... Did one this afternoon/evening when I got home from work---hot-freaking-pink line! Woohoo! I ran to Damon & told him that I got my positive ovulation line & that if he wanted a boy then he needed to get to work!!! Oh, it was funny. He was actually napping at the time, and the conversation went something like this...
"Damon, I did my ovulation predictor stick & it says that I've ovulated! I did one yesterday & it was really pale. Right now, it's definitely positive!"
I think I got something like, "That's good sweetie" from my half-asleep husband.
"Damon, if you want to have a boy then you need to get to work. We only have a 24 hour window." response...
"Do you want to have a little boy?"
His response: "Not today".
At that point, I just cracked up & let him finish his nap.
At this point--I'm not going to tell the rest of the story. :)

So, lots of my friends know that we are trying to get pregnant. Family knows, etc. Everyone keeps asking if I want a boy or a girl. Well, I want to be the mother to a little girl. I just think I was born to be a mother, but I've always wanted a little girl. I've wanted to name her "Emma" since I was 4 years old. Since then, "Emma" has become a household name for me, my parents, Damon. It's just always been Emma, the little girl that I would have some day. (So you can all imagine how pissed off I was when Ross & Rachel on friends named their little girl, Emma....and it was I think the 2nd most popular girl name for 2002 or 2003. Now my little Emma is going to be one in a whole sea of "Jennifer" for our generation.) Anyway...the whole point of this paragraph: today my friend Jamie asked me if I want a boy or a girl. Suddenly--I dont really have a preference. I just want a baby. And I think about it...I dont just want an infant...I want the first day of school...I want the toddler who wraps his whole body around your leg while you're trying to do the dishes...I want the school pictures...I want the going to grandma's luggage...I want the footie pajamas... I want to stay up on Christmas eve helping Damon assemble a tricycle... I want to see him or her open it on Christmas morning! I want all of that! I want to bake the cupcakes, help with Science Fair Projects... Now...having said all that...I am sure that all the moms who've read this are probably thinking... up all night in the beginning..terrible two's... throwing of the fits...
I fully comprehend that it's a full time job. I fully comprehend the ups & downs & ear aches & sore throats & broken hearts when his or her girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up with them...and they get their first speeding ticket...or wreck the car... etc.
But I know that all the moms wouldnt trade it for anything in the world.

One couple we know has been trying for 8 years...I just could not even imagine that. We've been trying for a couple of months & it seems like it will never get here!

Okay...all that being said...
Mark & Ally are pregnant & having a boy!
Blaine & Jessica are pregnant & having twins!
Jeremy & Mallory are pregnant & having a girl!
Someone else I know...cant spill just yet... is very newly pregnant!
A guy I work with--he & his wife are pregnant. They've been trying for 2 years!
I swear, something is in the water...I've got to start drinking water at their houses. Obviously our water filter is filtering out all the good stuff!

I'm signing off for tonight.
It's pretty amazing how much I can type when I've got the time, eh?

Friday, December 17, 2004

Something that boggles my mind...

Here's something that boggles my mind.

"I cleaned almost the whole house. You should love me so much!"
--Damon Duke

(1) I love you no matter what.
(2) I clean the whole house all the time---where's my big huge 'thanks'??

Seriously....when he cleans the house, does he not notice that almost everything that needs to be picked up is his? Guys are so weird like that. Sure, the house needs to be cleaned because: (1) you messed it up!!! & (2) it's YOUR family that is coming to stay with us for the weekend! need to be the one to clean it because (1) see #1 above... (2) see #2 above... & (3) you have all day to day to do nothing but clean the darn house! I will be at work, thank you very much.
...and to all the readers out there...I type "you" should really read, "Damon".

Ugh. Men.... cant live with them...cant live without them!

My friend Erin just got a + home pregnancy test!
*Jealous*...yes, I am. I'm still super happy for her though. She & her husband were pregnant & then had a miscarriage when her baby was the size of a grapefruit. :(

Tomorrow we're going to Sam Moon's. Erin is coming over @ about 8:30 in the morning to go with us. So, who all will be going? Me, Erin, Ramona (my sister in law) & Jordan (my neice). I assume the boys wont be going....

Anyway...I'm excited about that little outing.

After that, I am going to try to meet Mom in Canton to pick up Allen. That way, Dad wont have to drive down there after flying in. That would make for an exhausting day, and if I go ahead & get him, then Dad will get to spend more time with Allen. :)
If I didnt have to work on Monday & Tuesday, then I would just keep Allen until Christmas Eve when we go to Mom's house.

I cant wait to see Mom's new house with all their stuff in there. The last time I saw the new house--it was completely empty.

And--moving so close to Christmas, I just dont think I would be motivated to decorate at all.

I dont really feel well today. No fever, but I have a sore throat & a queasy tummy. Yuck....

Ramona's birthday is tomorrow. Damon's going to bake her a cake. I'm not baking it.
I dont feel like baking a cake.

Okay...I'm outta here.
Hope everyone has a pleasant weekend!!!

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Alopecia Areata

It's Wednesday.

Let's back up to Monday night.

I was at home. Damon & Josh were in the kitchen. I was in the living room watching the season premeire of "Significant Others" which I had saved to PVR.

I was resting my head in my left hand. My fingers felt something funny on my scalp. I started feeling around on my head, and realized that my head felt different in that one spot. So, I went to the bathroom--& used my pull out mirror to look at the back of my head. I was shifting my hair around, and saw a little spot of scalp that didnt have any hair on it. I thought--huh...that's odd. Then I moved a bit more of my head, and the spot got bigger. Then I moved more hair, and it was even bigger. It's about the size of a golf ball or a bit larger. The next thing I knew, I was screaming for Damon & crying...I was holding my hair in my hands & I just wanted to throw up. Just looking at that spot was (& still is) sickening. It just makes my stomach feel like I swallowed a soccer ball.

Damon of course comes in there & sees what is wrong with me. He asked Josh to leave & we started getting ready to go to my mother in law's house. She later asked Damon why we were coming to her house because my hair fell out---his response was so sweet, and I hope that I have a son tell me this some day! He said, "Mom, I didnt know what to do. When something like this happens, my first instinct is to go home." Now, I am not all offended that he refers to that as "home" & all that crap that some people would say... I thought it was very endearing. He wanted to take me and run to a place that he feels safe. That's sweet.

Anyway.... so I called my dr. He immediately called me back & we discussed my symptoms (once I stopped bawling & you could actually decipher the words I was saying). He told me that more than likely I have "alopecia areata". Which...I think is probably Latin for "hair loss localized to a particular area". (If anyone speaks Latin...please feel free to correct me if I am wrong).

I just could not relax until I knew more about it. I talked to Mom & Dad. Dad was looking it up on the internet & trying to help me, but it was just too much to do over the phone.

So, I called Megan...told her that I had a problem & needed to use her internet. No problem. When we got to Megan's---I showed her---& she just held me & cried. There is just something about being upset & having someone cry with you that makes you feel better. Damon can feel bad for me, and feel helpless, etc... but, his way of coping is to minimalize everything. That's good for me because it keeps me kind of grounded...kind of puts a lot of things into perspective. But, in the moment--the situation felt huge. I needed someone to "freak out" with me! Then we looked it up on the internet...My head looked like all the pictures we found.

My doctor agreed to see me in his office to look at it & confirm the diagnosis. He saw me yesterday at 2:30. Took one look & said it was for sure alopecia areata.

From WebMD:
Alopecia areata is a type of hair loss that occurs when your immune system mistakenly attacks hair follicles, which is where hair growth begins. Experts do not know why the immune system attacks the follicles. Alopecia areata is most common in people younger than 20, but children and adults of any age may be affected.

Alopecia areata usually begins when clumps of hair fall out, resulting in totally smooth, round hairless patches on the scalp. In some cases the hair may become thinner without noticeable patches of baldness, or it may grow and break off, leaving short stubs (called "exclamation point" hair). Rarely, complete loss of scalp hair and body hair occurs. The hair loss often comes and goes—hair will grow back over several months in one area but will fall out in another area.

So, the doctor says that the spot I have now may get bigger, but it may not. He says that I may develop other spots on my head. I have to be treated by a dermatologist (appt. set for 8am 12/22). Because this happened prior to my age of 30, I am more likely to have this as a recurring problem. It is unknown as to why exactly I have it.
Things to test for... AIDS, Siphilis, Thyroid Disease, Polycystic Ovary Disease, & Lupus. He knows for a fact that I dont have AIDS, Siphilis, Thyroid Disease, or Polycystic Ovary Disease. He "believes strongly" that I do not have Lupus. And, he reiterated that many people with this disorder never learn the cause of their alopecia. He drew a ton of labs/bloodwork prior to my surgery in October. He says that he feels that my labwork at that time would have been askew or indicative in some way if I had Lupus.

So... Today, I am just super thankful that I have long hair. I can wear my hair pulled back in a low ponytail, and you cant see the patch.

He said that the hair should start to grow back in 6 months to a year.

In the meantime...this spot on my head doesnt like my hairbrush or my blowdryer! Learned that yesterday morning. I was actually able to forget that it was there...but when I ran the bristles of my hairbrush across it...well, it was a not-so-pleasant reminder.

Talked to Megan again last night. She said that she was talking to her boyfriend Steven on Monday night after Damon & I left her apartment. She made the comment to Stephen that she has never known me to cry as much as I have cried in the past 12-13 months....that it's just been a "really hard year" for me.
She's so right.
So much has happened in the past 13 months. Some good, some bad... just a lot of change.

I got married.
My parents divorced.
My mom moved.
My dad moved.
My sister moved.
Grandpa had surgery & wasnt doing great for a while.
Mom remarried.
Damon & I bought a house.
We moved.
Working on the renovation projects for the house.
Got robbed.
Thought we were pregnant. :)
Found out we werent. :(
Had a cyst on my ovary...then had endometriosis.
Had surgery.
Told that we need to get Pregnant.
Working on getting Pregnant
Now this. It's just sooooo much change.

13 months ago today...It was the day after my wedding. At 10:22 in the morning, Damon & I were just waking up at the Adolphus. (If we were even awake by 10:22!)
Then, we went home to our "disaster" of an apartment! Melissa & Ben left our loft & met up with Blaine & Jessica. They saw Boaz today. In fact, I think they met him for the first time today. ("Today" being 11/8/3). Damon & I sat in the living room of our loft & opened the gifts from the wedding. We still needed to pack for our honeymoon to Costa Rica. If I knew then what I know now...I would have worn a different outfit for the plane ride & would have taken about 6 bottles of Off bug spray! If I knew then what I know now...I would have truly enjoyed every single second of that trip because I would know that I would be going home to find out about my parents divorce. Hell--if I knew then what I know now...we may have just stayed over there & sold coconuts on the beach!!!! ...there's a thought....I wonder what my life would have been like if Damon & I just stayed on our honeymoon forever.... like that movie, "Sliding Doors" with Gwyneth Paltrow.

Anyway...this is my blog for today.
I'm in a better mood & disposition today than I have been for the past few days.
I have hair on 90% of my head. That's good. The hair I have now covers what I've lost.
I will hopefully begin "treatment" for this on the 22nd. (That's if I can take anything for I will be trying to conceive then!)

But...things all work out for a reason.

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Friday, December 03, 2004

A day in the life....

of me...

Well, today I woke up earlier than normal. why? well, because I went to sleep with we hair & knew that I would wake up looking like Medusa.
So, I get my hair, blowdry my hair, roll my hair... get dressed...and put on my new black boots (which are fabulous by the way!)
I leave the house early so that I can run by Starbucks & grab a Gingerbread Latte before work. I am in my Jeep...flying down I-30 because there's hardly any traffic at 7...and then---my whole car just stops working. The interior lighting goes off, my radio goes off, the turn signal wont headlights go off.... it was horrible. And--I'm in the left lane of the 4 available lanes. Fantastic. I attempted to signal my way over...but realized that (1) my turn signal wont work & (2) I cant give the car any gas...I'm merging on a prayer! So, I finally get all the way over to the right hand side & coast down the exit. Then, my car comes back on. The electrical flickers all the way home. The little dashboard levers were flippin' & floppin'. It was tons of fun.

Damon told me to take his truck. So--I'm "driver 2" with my own set of keys! Oh what fun!!!'s little 100 pound me... 5 foot me... driving the "quad cab, extended bed, HD 2500 with a lift" truck. Man, it is awesome! I just love driving that thing! I dont so much like the parking part...or the pulling into a teeny-tiny gas station to fill up....but the driving is awesome. :) When I drive this truck...I'm almost eye level with 18 wheelers! It's so much fun! So...that will be up there with the highlights of my day.

Tomorrow: Megan, Stephen, Damon & I have plans to drive to Denison to one of those places where you can cut down your own Christmas tree. Oh what fun. Good Day reported rain in the we'll have to play it by ear...but that is the plan.

Then on Sunday I think Megan, Susan, & I are going to get together @ BreadWinners for brunch. Susan's working nights we hardly see her.

My new boots: I love them. They are so rockin'.... but...I'm a little superstitious about shoes. So far...I had car trouble on my way to work & an upset tummy today. It could be the shoes. I really think that some footwear is bad luck. I'm going to give these boots another trial run...but if I have bad luck on that day too---well, these boots are history. Cute or not---I wont wear them if they are jinxed! (I'm so neurotic...I know)

What else??? Went to Target yesterday after work.
Got Allen a Christmas gift from Dad.
Wish I had a million bucks...

Oh! One of my Christmas gifts arrived today from Damon! I know what it is! I know what it is!!!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Sorry I havent blogged lately!

Okay...I havent updated this in a while.

...well, with the holidays...and work...etc.

Today is Wednesday. I really shouldnt be updating this right now b/c I am super swamped at work...was super swamped yesterday...have a staff meeting today @ noon & a 1600 deadline for some chart reviews. Yuck.

Yesterday was just a *horrible* day in the ER. We had an infant death....non-affectionately known as a "dead baby day" here at work. Sounds so callous to non-hospital employees...but those of us who work the cases know that we have to de-personalize these events to keep ourselves from fully feeling the situation. It's a defense mechanism that we all use to protect ourselves, but it doesnt always work.
So...just a horrible day.

On a brighter note...I went home to find dinner already prepared (thank goodness since I didnt have a chance to eat at all yesterday!), a fire going... We looked like a Norman Rockwell sitting there in front of the fire sipping hot chocolate. :)

Update on the pregnancy situation: negative. I got my beta drawn on Monday at work. Big Fat Negative. (BFN) I was upset. I know that we will try again. I know that most people dont get pregnant the first time around & it takes a while...etc. But--here are my thoughts on that: (1) I have a sister with 5 kids. She can get pregnant by just walking into a room!!! I just want to be pregnant! I dont think that I am asking for too much! (2) For those who have had sex & used birth control, we are conditioned to believe that the one time we have sex without birth control that we will just automatically end up pregnant! So...I just somehow felt I would miraculously be pregnant. We were doing all the right things. I did the ovulation predictor kits. We tried at all the right times! And...patience is not something I have a whole lot of. I admit it. Cant hide it. I am not a patient person.

But...we will continue to try. I will be optimistic! Of course I'm optimistic...this is just the best thing that could ever happen to us!!!

Other updates: mark & Jana are getting married in March. Wedding in Key West. Damon is the Best Man. :) So, we have to make our hotel arrangements soon. Who knew that hotels in Key West are so freaking expensive? I didnt...because I've never been there before. But...we're really excited about going!

Mom, David, Allen & Mario are moving into their new home this weekend. It's a great house. I've seen it. Each of the boys will have their own room, which I know they will love.

Dad got a new computer. A laptop with wireless internet. He's going to be a surfing fool!!!! He can email from just about anywhere!!!

We're almost done in the kitchen with the paint. Damon textured the walls & we painted most of the walls with the first coat. It's red, so we'll have to do a couple of coats...but we love it so far!!

I gotta go. Will try to update this thing more frequently!!