Life Is Just So Daily

Friday, August 31, 2012

Let The Party Planning Begin.

I cannot BELIEVE that Gage will be 7 soon.


It's crazy insane how fast time flies... much he has grown and changed.
He is my world, and so naturally, his birthdays are HUGE in my world.

And, with all the IVF stuff going on....stuff going on with Hubby's work....just things being hectic and stressful, I have actually put off the planning and shopping a bit longer than I normally do. The fact that Gage is old enough now to have input on the party has played a part in that as well. He now cares about the theme, and changes his mind about the theme often.

We recently narrowed it down to Pirates or Sharks.

Sharks won..
{Naturally, because I saw all kinds of pirate booty at Target AND HomeGoods.}

So....let the shopping begin!

The invites:
 I ordered them on Etsy. That's a photo of the sample on my computer screen. Nice, eh?
I also ordered some of these...

And of course, he had to have this... then I ran to Dollar Tree to see if they had any beach buckets/pails leftover from Summer stuff.... Better yet, I found THESE in the laundry basket area!

These will be PERFECT to fill for the take-away-party-favors. They have rope for handles. Love 'em.

Gage is sooooo excited.
And----I got to have lunch with him at school today.

Happiness is...
...planning your son's SEVENTH birthday bonanza.
...surprising your son at school for lunch....and letting him eat ice cream during his meal rather than at the end! "Make sure you finish your ice cream." {Yeah, I said that today. He thinks I rock, and that's really all that matters.}



So, I googled "boy shark swimsuit" looking for a boy's shark swimsuit for Gage.

I clicked on images to cut right to the chase so that I could shop visually....

THIS is the first thing that came up. Creepy and gaggy!

{PS: PawPaw, I think I found a miniature Blue Tang!}

And then there's this:
It says: 'My vagina will eat your pecker off!'

Followed by....

'Don't think of putting it there either.'


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Target's Hypnotic Effect.

I need a vacuum.
I am going to Target.

Wish me luck.
May I walk out with a vacuum....and not half of the store!


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

"You can't just turn me on like a switch, you know"

....said the ovary.
More specifically: said both my ovaries.

Had a sono today.

Here's what I wanted to see:
(all the black spots are follicles. Nice and large & ready to go!)

We didn't see that.
In fact, I borrowed the above image from the Advanced Fertility Center's website (whoever they are...).

What happened at today's appt: sono. Had bloodwork ordered, but that was cancelled after the doc saw what he saw on the sono. I have 13 follicles (6 on the right, 7 on the left). The largest of which is 12mm. The smallest of which is 4 or 5 mm. They have to be bigger, and better, and bad-assier! (I totally just made that word up. I challenge you to fit it into conversation today if at all possible...)

How the HELL am I so big and bloaty if I am not just chock full of human caviar? I mean, really??? Our rock-star-nurse (Jamie) says that no, my bloated belly is NOT abnormal. I look about par for the course. Awesome. {I look about 3 months pregnant without the joy of actually BEING 3 months pregnant.}

Outcome from today's visit: upping the meds.
I'm totally a junkie.
...shooting up in parking lots & what not....

Because I needed to shop before going home. Retail therapy IS a type of therapy, right? {I think it falls into line right after CBT...}

So, I did my drugs in the car before going into HomeGoods. Today's emotional set back wasn't tooooo bad. I only did $43 worth of damage. That's good, right!?

{feel free to justify my emotional spending. mmmmkay? and in my defense: we needed a new colander, and they had the square/rectangular glass jugs that fit perfectly in the fridge door. you know---the ones that are perfect for iced tea and juice? who can blame me for getting those? nobody. the Halloween stuff was out in full force and I didn't load up on any of that stuff, so see----I have some self-restraint.}

On another note---today was my "keepin'-it-real" day emotionally with regard to the cart-before-the-horse situation again. Wow. Only 13 follicles? Wow. They aren't as big as they feeeeeel? I suddenly had that realization that this might not work. That, holy-shit-we-spent-how-much-$$$-on-a-chance-and-I-stick-needles-into-my-body-several-times-a-day-and-it-may-all-be-for-nothing moment. So, while I looked at every baby and nursery item there at HomeGoods, I didn't buy anything. Not even the cute trumpette socks that look like Converse tennis shoes. ( I thought, 'surely Gage would like a baby who comes outfitted in his or her own Converse, right?')

So, now, I'm just rambling.

Hubby's had a WONDERFUL day at work. We are going out to dinner tonight to celebrate. I have to pick up Gage in a bit. It's 2pm and I still need to make the beds!

Today's highlights:
Hubby's good day at work
Changing my nailpolish color (it's the little things!)
Dinner tonight! (it's a date! wooohoooo)
Being lazy for a while.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

The Post Where I Burn Your Brain. (IVF Update)

I'm doing it.
I'm going to burn your brain.

Yesterday, I shot up at the dr's office because I was there for an appointment, and needed to get my new med regimen. Got the new orders and self-injected prior to my departure.

Guess what I saw when I got home:

So that's not "normal." It may be common, but it hadn't happened at any of my other injection sites... So, I emailed the nurse. Maybe my angle at the time of injection was off. No biggie. Nothing to worry about she says... Okay good. A few hours later, the white ring was gone.

More meds last night....
More meds this morning...
Note the new needle sizes... (safety pin for comparison)

And boy, I must be growing some eggs! (...all pics taken with the iphone. Not great quality, but oh well.)

This morning...

(Yes, see....this is the part where I'm burning your brain....well, and in the above white-ring photos too....)

Sucking in:

....covered up is just better!
...but still not great.

This is REAL LIFE IVF, folks!
The excitement has worn off.
And to quote a conversation with my mother earlier: At the beginning of this process, I was putting the cart before the, I'm PLOWING.

May tomorrow's sono reveal 10 perfectly ready follicles.


2nd Day of First Grade

Yesterday when I picked Gage up from school, I asked him about first grade. "How was it?"

3:15pm 8/27/12, his response: "Awesome."

7:am this morning as I woke him: "I don't WANT to go to school!"

WTH happened in less than 24 hours?

I think he was just tired & grumpy.
Within 20 minutes, he was dressed & ready for day 2 of first grade!

He even had his homework ready to rock & roll...

(Ummmm...I can't seem to get those to rotate, so let me tell ya: the homework assignment was to bring his favorite book to school. Okie Dokie Artichokie has been his favorite for a while now.)

And check this out in his classroom: It's a giant interactive touch-screen. AWESOME.
Hey, Gage! You know what we had when we were your age? Chalkboards. We literally had to take a piece of chalk and write on a chalkboard. We didn't have white dry-erase boards everywhere. Chalkboards weren't for your play-room or a bit of whimsy in the kitchen. They were for teachers and found in the classroom. My, my, my how things have changed! 

I hope you have so much fun learning, buddy. 

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Monday, August 27, 2012

First Day of First Grade {...& other stuff.}

Today is the first day of first grade for Gage.
Before today, we read "The Night Before First Grade":
It's a pretty cute little story, and we actually picked it up earlier in the Summer at the grocery store, of all places. It was a great little find.

This morning, I woke Gage originally at 6:45. He didn't actually get out of bed until 7am. He put on the clothes that he picked out yesterday, and while the gold basketball shorts are not at ALL what I would have picked---it's all him. His style, his likes, etc. So be it. If it makes him happy, and keeps him from attending school naked, then we'll go with it!

Pictures from our house this morning....

In the top two pictures of Gage, you may notice that he is holding a glass apple. Just a little back-to-school something I picked up. I hope to make a tradition out of it. I'd like to get his photo with the apple on the first day of school from here on out. Then, maybe give it to him at some point in the future...or when his first child starts school. We'll see where this little apple takes us....

Another back to school tradition: for breakfast on the first day of school, you can have ANYTHING you'd like. My parents did this for me when I was younger, and I always chose porkchops. Always. My dad might be out at the grill at 6 in the morning making me porkchops, and that's just the way it was. It was a wonderfully fun tradition that I wanted to share with my son.

Last year, Kindergarten morning came and went without breakfast. His tummy was too nervous for breakfast. Poor buddy.

Last night I asked, "Gage what do you want for your first-day-of-school-breakfast?"
Gage said, "Kool-aid & cake."
My husband of course told me that I was INSANE for even considering this. {In my mind---hey, even if he's hopped up on sugar, I'll be taking him to school and dropping him off. He can bounce off those walls for a change!} But, as my instincts proved to be correct: Gage wanted NOTHING this morning. He asked for chocolate milk, took two sips, and was done with that.
This special breakfast routine has been consistently a bust in this household. Maybe it will change with time. Maybe it's just not the right tradition for our little guy. We'll see....

I had fun packing his lunch, though! 

He will quickly let you know that Mommy notes are important. Well, rather, the absence of a Mommy note on any day that he takes his lunch is NOT well received. Now that he's reading more, I think they are going to be even more important to him.

Both Daddy & I took Gage to school this morning. I had to leave directly from there to the dr's office, and Hubby had to go to work, so we took separate cars. Gage wanted to ride with Daddy, and I got to take the haul of school supplies. It's nice that he got to ride with Daddy though, because Daddy rarely gets to take Gage to school with his work schedule.

Pictures from school....

The first picture above is Gage with his teacher, Mrs.H. {Yes, she looks so young! She's been teaching for 7 years. She has her Master's. She has been at our school for 3 years. She's married and a mom. She looks way to young to have all of that under her belt! She's been kind so far, so that's great. Fingers crossed for a fabulous year!}
In the 2nd picture, that's Gage at his locker. He was locker #8 last year, and surprisingly, locker #8 again this year. He was so excited to learn that this morning. Yaaaay for his favorite number!

I think he's really going to have a good day today, and I can't wait to hear all about it when I pick him up this afternoon.

What else did I do today? Dr's appointment and two errands.

So, here's the IVF update...
New med regimen. Why? Because my calendar only listed my meds up until today's date. Three shots per day is now four shots per day. The needles have gotten bigger. These "stimming" meds are for the birds!

Last night, I was almost in tears because I'm already so freaking sick of giving these shots in my stomach. My stomach, below the belly button, is bloated and polka-dotted with red needle dots and bruises. I'd show you a picture, but as my mother would say, "it might burn your brain." You're not supposed to repeat injection sites, but I'm seriously running out of space here! So, if you get within an inch or two of an old injection spot, it just makes the shot hurt worse. These meds stiiiiiing as they go in, and I'm just over it. Last night I truly thought, "is this really worth it?" Then I remind myself that yes, it will be worth it if it works. And if it doesn't, then maybe we'll have some "frosties" (embryos that have been cryo-preserved) for a frozen embryo transfer next cycle...

So, today---I got to the RE's office. My estrogen level from last visit was low, but they expected it to be low because I wasn't taking any estrogen. My hematocrit was normal.

My sono today: 4 follicles on the right, and 6 follicles on the left! They range from 5mm to 8mm. They need to be at least 16mm to be "ready." So---the sono totally answered my question. Is it all worth it? Yes, yes it is. Or rather, yes, it will be.

What else? Got my new medicine regimen....but then, I already mentioned that.

Last Friday, after the RE visit, I had to order some more meds.
O.M.G. Remember in the past how I was all excited about the pricing on the meds and how we FINALLY caught a break somewhere? Well, let me just back that train up. When I called for medication reorder on Friday, they were so glad that I called. Why? Well, they got the opportunity to let me know that an error was made when processing my order the last time, and that $57 copay was inaccurate {as in, too good to be true}. On Friday, they were hoping I'd pay them in excess of $900. Ouch. "I'm sorry, what?"

Ultimately---it all worked out. A manager got involved, and luckily, I won't be paying for someone else's mistake. They were very gracious to take care of that for me. The reorder copay is $479, but hey---at least they told me that up-front!
So, I got my THIRD box of IVF meds and a bazillion more needles on Saturday.
{Seriously---you get about 50 syringes & needles for every ounce of liquid medication. It's a crazy amount. May I never, never, never need this many injections.}

So---I go back on Wednesday for another estrogen level & sonogram.
"Am I on track for the 9/5 egg retrieval?"
Doc says it is just too soon to tell.

And for the record---yes, I was secretly hoping to go in there and have him say, "Wow, your ovaries are rock stars and they look like the balloon bouquet from the movie Up. You're ready to go. We'll just give you that trigger shot right now so that you won't have to fuss with IM shots yourself! You can have the egg retrieval tomorrow, and I guarantee that it will work!"
....that didn't happen.

Keep you all posted.

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Back to School ! ! !

Let me just say, Whooohooooo! It's the first day of school!

I have mixed emotions about this.
While I've loved the Summer at home with my son, I love back-to-school time. The school supplies. The signalling of the Fall season coming. The routine of it all. Gage's birthday being right around the corner, which means: party planning!

Oh, it's a glorious time!!!!!!!!!


Six Flags, Summer 2012

As a reading award at school, Gage earned a free ticket to Six Flags! I was so proud of him for putting in the work. Gage and I waited for the perfect today to visit the amusement park. Little did we know (because we didn't read the fine print), Gage's ticket expired August 12th. Whoops! But, we were already there (August 17th) and we were not turning back!

Gage had a blast! I rode several rides with him, but some that he wanted to try---I just couldn't stomach. So, he rode them solo. What a brave boy!

(The Sombrero I rode with him once, but the "let's go again" just wasn't happening with this mama.)

(If I rode that, I would surely vomit. Gage gave it a mixed review. He watched it go several times before he insisted that we ride it. I absolutely could not, and I wasn't so sure about letting him ride it alone. But, he did, and he kind of liked it....) Gage gave his ratings to lots of other rides too....

Let's see.... La Vibora: used to be called the Avalanche Bobsled. I loved it years ago, and had a blast on it this year too.... until we got stuck on it. That's right, folks. I've been going to Six Flags for as long as I can remember! At least once a year. Never have I been stuck on any ride....until this year. We were only stuck for about 15 minutes, and they were super attentive to bring us our drinks and water if we wanted.... Very attentive. I will have to say though: 15 minutes just sitting with the sun beating down on you makes for a very loooooong 15 minutes.

As soon as the ordeal was over and we were back in the loading/unloading area for the ride, Gage said, "Can we go again?!" Not right now.

Gage LOVED Aquaman. (It used to be called something else too, but I forget the previous name...). First you ride the ride and I did that once with him. Naturally, he insisted to go again & again. Because there were no others waiting in line, they were letting him (& others) go as many times in a row as they liked. It was AWESOME. Somehow we picked the perfect day to go to Six Flags.

After the ride, you exit and go stand on the bridge---waiting for those riding after you to come down and create this massive wave to get you soaked while on the bridge. (This Mommy had to opt out of that experience. Been there, done that, and it wasn't so great.) Needless to say, Gage loved it.

What else did we do? We rode the cars....

We rode lots of other things too, but I didn't happen to snap pictures at every ride.... I did snap a picture of the absent lines!

Gage played a few of the little pay-&-play games (because $111 for the two of us to get in certainly shouldn't cover EVERYTHING)... He is so competitive and won every time. I couldn't believe it.

We had a very mono-chromatic lunch.... I didn't see a salad-selling place anywhere, and we got front row parking, so I wasn't about to leave & come back. Brown lunch---he we come.

Other fun pictures from the day....

In the above photo, Gage is standing by the "This here door don't work" sign. Oh my goodness, that sign drove me nuts. Gage is learning to read, so he kept repeating that phrase over and over. I had to tell him that it's improper English, bad grammar, etc. He repeatedly read it aloud just to jack with me. He knew it was getting under my skin. Mentally I flashed forward ten years and started thinking about how much fun he's going to have jacking with me in the teen years. Pour the drinks now....

Moving on!

I saw this cut out. It was a part of the whole Six Flags history theme.
How freaking scary is this!? It's like Mrs.Pac-Man meets Baby Jane.
(You can't see that little girl's face, but I'm fairly certain that half a second after the photo was snapped she turned on her heels and ran off screaming and crying. I can see it now.)

My major complaint about the park (aside from all costs involved): The Pink Thing. (...not to be confused with the Blue Tang in Belize....hahahaha)...

All joking aside...this is a serious grievance. Do you see the pink thing pictured above? (To the left of the words "Pink Things.") That is the color and shape of the Six Flags original. I can practically taste it now. I freaking loooooove the pink things. And, at $1 each, they are a delightfully affordable frozen treat.

THIS is the pink thing they served us:
THAT is not a pink thing. Granted, it's pink---but it's not a "thing." THAT is a light pink colored push pop. AND----it doesn't taste ANYTHING like the perfect Six Flags original Pink Thing. This push pop just tasted like pink sweet cream, and I swear I may have tasted a hint of rose. It was all wrong and it went into the trash.

Six Flags----why mess with perfection? WTF? Bring back the original, or at the very least change the sign. I'm just sayin'....

For $16, you can get a drink at Six Flags.
That's right. $16. I'm kind of torn on this. Granted---you get to keep the cup. (Big stinkin' flip. It's hand washable and that's a pain. It's super tall and doesn't fit easily in the cabinets. It, in itself, is a pain in my ass.) The cup is refillable at the park for free. That's the cup's saving grace. So, if you think about it---we probably filled it up 4 times. I'd pay $4 per drink that size at the park. So, while I initially freaked about the price, it was probably worth it in the end.

....and although the day cost about 2x what I expected, it was SO.MUCH.FUN.

Gage and I stayed until the park closed.
Here we are at closing time, after a day full of fun!

And a few minutes later...
Sweet boy, I love you so much. I'm so thankful that I get to do these things with you. I remember my mommy taking a day off from work at least once every Summer, and taking us to Six Flags. We always had so much fun, and now as a Mommy taking my own child to Six Flags---I see it differently. 

It's expensive. The rides aren't nearly as fun as they were when you were a kid. It's hotter as an adult. Getting soaking wet and walking around as you dry is no longer all that fun or refreshing. You'll see. 

And yet----I'm still so thankful that we had the day we had. Watching you get excited about things and grab my hand, pulling me toward this or that....begging to ride something again & again....It's all so very perfect, and I love the memories.