Life Is Just So Daily

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Today's compliment...

I just got a voice mail from my Mamasita.
She's crying.
She's watching Baby Gage's montage....
and she said, "You are the BEST Mommy!"

...and the other day, she said that she would love to have had me for a mom.
That made me feel so good!
And---it's not like she's saying that Memaw was not a good mom. It's not that at all...she was just saying that she thinks I'm a good mom.
I knew what she meant...
It was just so sweet...

Little Black Slip....

I'm not wearing a slip today.
Why?
Because I could not find my little black slip. It's my favorite slip. It's super short, so it goes under mini skirts. Now, the skirt I'm wearing today comes to my knees...but it has a slit in it, and that's why I need the little black slip.
wouldn't be that big of a deal if I didn't have to wear pantyhose with skirts that don't come to your mid-calf.
So...Here I am at work, in my skirt, in my pantyhose, and I'll be tugging at my skirt all day because it will ride up b/c I have no little black slip underneath.
AND---I spent 5-7 minutes overturning tons of things in my closet looking for it. There I was franticly searching for my slip while Gage was standing outside of my closet screaming & crying as if his flesh were on fire. He was pitching the BIGGEST fit because Mommy couldn't (or in his mind, "wouldn't") hold him right then. So, my patience level tanked, I got nuts & just started dumping baskets of slips, pantyhose, etc onto my closet floor looking for the perfect little slip.
I'm sure I'll use one of Gage's naptimes on Saturday or Sunday to clean my closet floor now.

Little Black Slip: where could you be?

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

So Cute!

Okay...so here's some random cute stuff that I've found for Gage.

www.trendytadpole.com

That's the image on a t-shirt.
It's cute for Gage b/c honestly, he loves this Johnny Cash CD that we have. Whenever you put it on in the car, his little legs just get to kickin'! It's so cute.



shhhh...dont tell Gage, but there is a store at Northpark mall that carries this little firetruck. We plan to get it for him for his birthday!

www.ollibollen.com

These are cute for Gage b/c Memma & PawPaw got him an orange Paul Frank monkey in his Easter Basket. He sleeps with "Monkey" every night!


Okay...this is not so much cute for Gage right now...b/c Gage prefers to eat paper & chew on books right now...but in general, and perhaps next year...I think this little book is sooooooo funny!
Here's a little excerpt:

TEN little Elvi gettin’ ready to shine.
One made a comeback and then there were NINE.

And this is a little bit about the book...
Ten little tykes pay tribute to the King of Rock ’n’ Roll. While young ones learn numbers with caped Elvis, GI Elvis, Karate Elvis, and seven other diminutive impersonators, adults will enjoy finding hidden references to the King’s life and song. For fans and future fans alike. A counting book as one of a kind as its subject.


NEXT.......
I found some Curious George stuff.
Okay, this is pretty much cool for me as well as for the baby b/c I've always loved Curious George...but, I know Gage would love this stuff!

And...


oH....And then...I found this Baby Gymnastics Bounce & Spin Zebra. It's just like a mechanical bull that you'd find in some dirty south honky tonk...but in bright colors, and much smaller...you know, for kids.
Just looking at it is hilarious. Gage MUST have one.


Gage is now needing a pull toy.
He pulls Bevo around the house by his sweatshirt string...So I thought this is cute from www.monkeybeantoys.com.

Back to School....

Well, last night marked my first day back in school...in 5 years.

There was a manual pencil sharpener on the wall.
I can't remember the last time I used one of those.
I can't remember the last time I used a pencil that requires sharpening.

The old Social Work Complex still smells the same.
Still has the same old desks.
I am not sure anything has changed there except some of the faces....

...back in my former days at this school.......
I sure had a lot of fun & sure do have a lot of memories!
The sorority house....

...oh, the sorority memories!
The fights, the gossip, the hugs, the discussions, the drama! The "super stealthing" and flirting....the oozeball & bed races & guessing who was going to get dropped/pinned, or who was going to be X-fraternity's sweetheart...
Gee, we had so much to worry about back then! (note the sarcasm!)
Good times....

So anyway...I started class last night. We got out early.
I have Research on Tuesday nights. I'm trying to be optimistic about the class. What I've heard about it so far: it's really boring, and one of the toughest Grad school classes.
Great.

That's all for now!

Monday, August 28, 2006

They Grow So Fast...

I took these two pictures on Sunday morning.

I look at these & just think...."he's getting so big!"







Scenario: Daddy just left the kitchen, and shut the door behind him. Gage wanted to go too, but couldn't. His little heart was broken!

Good Luck M'Witty!

Melissa starts a new job today.
Good Luck Melis!!!!!

Practice Makes Perfect.



You are probably asking yourself, "What is that?"
That is a biscuit with a candle in it.
We're practicing for the upcoming birthday.
Gage has not yet perfected the blowing out of the candle, but it's pretty cute to watch him try!
Note to others: eleven months old really want to HOLD the flame of the candle. Gage makes more attempts to catch the flame & get the candle away from MomMom's hand than he does to blow out the candle!

Poker...

So, on Saturday night, after dinner...after Baby Gage went to bed...my husband, my father-in-law, and I all sat down for a friendly game of poker.

Well....We were playing, and Gene (my father-in-law) started telling a story about this game of poker he once played...and yada yada...in the end he won this whole pot b/c he had 4 Aces.
Well, Would you believe that in that hand we were playing----his last card, he drew a freaking ACE! So, in the end, he had all FOUR ACES, and he beat my straight!

I just couldnt believe it. He literally just finished telling his story, and then he drew the 4th Ace. Ugh.

I took a picture (because you know, it's me we're talking about...I take pictures of all kinds of random sh*t)

The Grass....

So, Baby Gage has been afraid of grass for a while now.
He didn't like the texture on his feet...I think perhaps it seemed unstable, unfamiliar...like he couldnt trust it...

Anyway...
Friday evening when we all got home from our respective day-time locations...
Daddy mowed the grass, and then I took Gage outside to just SEEEEEEE if he would give it another try.

He did. He loved it.
Now, look what we've started...all he wants to do is go outside & run & crawl in the grass.






Now THAT is a face that I love!
Don't his eyes look so green???



And of course, he loves drinking water out of a glass...

Friday, August 25, 2006

These better make me smart...

Okay, so yesterday after work...instead of "date-night"...I went to buy my textbooks. For those that are out of the loop---I'm going to Grad School. I start...Tuesday.

My checkbook is now missing $270 from book purchases.
I swear, these better make me smart!


Written by one of my old professors. Hmm...will I really use this, or are we just trying to boost book sales for a colleague??? He's not the professor of the class, by the way...







So, there you have it.
The books that I will be lugging around...perhaps in a backpack.
..I dont have a backpack. Or notebooks. Or spirals. Or a protractor. Or a compass. Or a highlighter set. Or a #2 pencil. Or a Big Chief tablet. Or a box of crayons. Or rounded edge scissors. Or notebook paper. Or a box of map pencils. Or a scientific calculator. (okay...that last one is a lie. I do have my scientific calendar that I started using in the 7th grade...that's right--I've still got it!)
The point of this ramble: I get to go school supply shopping! What a TREAT!

Learning to use the spoon...

So, our little one is learning to use the spoon...

These pictures were taken Tuesday night...
Pardon my attire...I was in "lazy-daisy-i'm-at-home" mode.I swear, I have shorts on with that t-shirt!









He's growing up so fast!

Musical Morning....

Someone was asking about the music that I listen to in my car...
Well...here are my radio stations that are programmed...
92.5
93.3
96.3
96.7
99.5
100.3
97.9
102.9
103.7
106.1
106.7
88.1 (so I can tune in the ipod!)

That's it.

This morning's song selections were Cowboy Mouth & Macy Gray.

When Gage was brand new....I would sing to him quite a bit (okay...I still do...) But, I couldnt remember a bunch of baby songs...so I often sang the following two songs to him: "HitchHiker" by Cowboy Mouth, and "Ice Cream" by Sarah McLachlan.
Random things for all to know today.
:)

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Tori Amos quotes...

My goodness. I think she's witty!

Tori Amos quotes....

“I think all the boys that write the screaming stuff would write the best love songs.... because they have the most to hide. The guys that are in the most pain are usually the ones with the biggest hearts.”

“If they keep crashing stuff into the moon, the moon's gonna get pissed off, and the tides'll change, and all the women'll start PMS-ing together. Then you guys are going to fucking regret it.”

“She's been everybody else's girl maybe one day she'll be her own.”

“In our minds, love and lust are really separated. It's hard to find someone that can be kind and you can trust enough to leave your kids with, and isn't afraid to throw her man up against the wall and lick him from head to toe.”

Ancient Chinese Proverb....

"An invisible
red thread connects those destined to meet,
regardless of time,
place
or circumstance.
The thread may stretch or tangle,
but never break."

----Ancient Chinese Proverb

For Jamie...

This one's for Jamie!
"Argh! I'm a pirate! And I'm here for the booty!"

Firetruck Party!

Gage is going to have a firetruck birthday party.
I just ordered the invites & postage.
:)
Teeheeeheeee!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself....

apparently, I've been walking about with my pants unzipped for quite a while. Well, it's almost 4:30...and I last used the restroom at 2:40. (it's a weird series of events that lets me know what time I last tinkled...) Anyway....at least I'm wearing cute panties.

Thank goodness I discovered this myself instead of someone pointing it out!

:)

Friendship....

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."
- Bible: Ecclesiastes

"Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends."
- Mary Catherwood

"Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you."
- Elbert Hubard

"I can trust my friends. These people force me to examine, encourage me to grow."
-Cher

"A new friendship is like an unripened fruit - it may become either an orange or a lemon"
- Emma Stacey

"Friendship is always a sweet responsibilty, never an oppourtunity."
- Kahil Gibran

"When friends stop being frank and useful to each other, the whole world loses some of its radiance."
- Anatole Broyard

Crap Morning.

So far today...it's been a crap morning.
Up at 5:45.
Did my hair...blow dried it & even curled it to wear down. woohoo.
Baby woke up. Fussy...mommy-clingy, dad just could NOT make him happy.
So, there I am, holding a baby, trying to shimmy into my pants. Fun stuff.
Drive to Rockwall.
Turn around, hop on the highway to go to Arlington.
Um....I was an hour late to work b/c a tractor-trailer carrying a load of tile overturned on a highway intersecting with the one I was traveling on, and oil/fuel spilled...along with tile...the highway was shut down. Oh, it was such a frustrating mess!

So, here I am at work, and I've already pulled my hair up b/c there's something going on with me...I'm hotter than hot! Like my whole body feels flushed or something. Even the palms of my hands feel hot!
And, I have to wear this lab coat around all day, and I feel like I'm on fire.
I need to check my temperature.
I'm hot.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

MyTuition.org....

So, I have been trying for TWO days now to do this tuition reimbursement bullsh*t.
I'm so frustrated.
There is a 120 second time limit per screen that has sensitive information on it...well, the pages are loading so slowly that I keep getting kicked out. I just FINALLY completed the application online...but then, it suddenly said that I was logged out. So---did I actually complete the WHOLE application??? No idea.
So...I decided to call. The first thing the recorder tells me---"Did you know, you can check the status of your application online?"
Um no, f*cktard, I cant. Your crappy program keeps kicking me out.
So then, I put in my secret code numbers...."We have no application on file for you, please hold for an employee service representative."
...and then..."we are experiencing high call volume at this time. please call back at off-peak call times, or try calling tomorrow."
WTF????????

I think they intentionally make it an a$$-whooping so people will give up, miss the deadlines, and just pay their own darn tuition.

This sucks! This sucks!

September 11th...

Last night, Damon got me watching an hour & a half long program on 9/11. By the end, I was crying, emotionally drained, but too keyed up to fall asleep.
It was just all so sad & awful & frustrating...just a bunch of overlapping & jumbled emotions.

On 9/11 2001, I was in my little convertible driving on I-30 when the planes hit.
I was supposed to be going to New York the following Friday to visit Cory. I'd already started packing.
I lived in Fort Worth at the time.
I was on my way to Big Baylor that morning. I dont know why either. I normally worked evenings in the ER, but for some reason, that day I was working Mother/Baby.
I heard the news on the radio while I was on the Trinity River Bridge & it was like I couldn't get to a TV fast enough.
I repeatedly tried to call Cory to check on him, but I got a weird kind of message that all circuits were busy.
So, I called Cory's Mom & Dad in Chicago & left a message.

Up on the post-partum floor at the hospital, women were crying---tears of joy about their new babies....tears of sorrow for the country and all of those hurt or killed...and then tears because many of the mothers didnt want their babies to have 9.11.01 as their birthday. That for some reason, stood out to me. I understood that...I wouldnt want that for my baby either. And that part of the day---it's just so vivid in my memory. Then another thing---the post-partum floor is on the 7th floor of that building. Many of the women didnt want to be that "high" up in a building (in the grand scheme of things....7 really isnt "that" high...and it certainly was not the tallest building on the hospital campus).

I was in the NICU when I got a hospital-wide overhead page. It was Cory's mom. She told me that he was okay, she'd spoken to him FINALLY.
Now that I'm a mom....even that situation feels differently. It's like I can---but I can't---imagine how scared, terrified, tied up in knots she must have been about her baby---her only baby, being there when this happened. On one hand, I feel like now that I am a mother---I can greater understand the fear. And yet, because I myself was not in that position, I can't truly understand how she felt.

Anyway...it was just such a sad, horrible event.
I of course did not go to New York the following Friday.
I haven't been back since.

Flash forward to 4 years later: 9/11/5
I was BFP (big, fat, pregnant). I had been at home for a couple of weeks on bedrest. I woke up that morning in tears about Riley. My contractions started that morning at 4:30 (if I am remembering correctly....) I sat in the nursery rocker all alone just hugging a pillow and crying...bawling....about Riley, about being pregnant, about having my contractions every 30 minutes, and not wanting my son born on 9/11, but selfishly wanting him out of my body! I just cried & cried. Then my husband & I fought about whether or not I was going to the funeral. It was over an hour from our house, and just about as far from the hospital. I was contracting every 30 minutes. But, I couldnt miss it. I couldnt not go. And, I was ready to be done with the whole "pregnancy thing" anyway (like the way I can make light of it now???). So, we went. I was sad, I was miserable, I was huge.
That night, the cramping got worse. We headed off to the hospital.
My mom was there.
My sister & brother in law were there.
Get there....they sent me home. My labor was "non-productive". My labor was "false labor"....."the contractions are real, but they aren't leading up to anything." I was given two Ambien and sent home. And yet, I remember when I was there, it was night-time, I dont remember what time....but I remember hoping that my baby would be born on the 12th instead of the 11th.
Baby Gage finally emerged on the 23rd. After the doctor went in and got him!


....so alas, those are some of my memories related to 9/11.
Is that all of the commentary I can provide? no. Just a tidbit.... just a little of my personal life info...where I was , what was going on & when...

Monday, August 21, 2006

Re-discovering the baby swing...

So, nothing would do on Sunday morning after breakfast, until we put Baby Gage in his indoor baby swing.

We looked on the side for weight restrictions, but found none.
Clearly, our child is TOO big for his baby swing...but we gave in.
We had to remove the mobile that goes at the top b/c it was hitting him in the head...and his feet---practically dragging the ground. But, he was thrilled!





And then....he started to doze off...


And then....he fell fast asleep....


Oh my goodness...it was sooooooo cute!

Friday, August 18, 2006

Other Announcements....

I love this website: www.otherannouncements.com
..and for the woman near & dear to me, who just had a boob job (you know who you are...)







Teeheeeheeee. I think it's so funny.

Friday...

Let me start by saying, TGIF.
I'm so ready for the weekend.

Sadly, I must come in tomorrow (yes, on a Saturday), for a staff meeting w/ the weekend staffers. Yummy. Looking forward to it. Counting down the hours....

Baby Gage spent the night at Linda's last night for date night.
We went to Joe's Crab Shack, and then back to the casa. No biggie.

But...I'm missing that boy!
It's so funny how he gets tickled at random things...
Like this: Thursday morning, I woke him up to go to Linda's for the day. I said, "You want to go see Memaw?" & he'd smiiiiiile. Then I would say, "You want to go see Sadie?" (that's their dog...a collie) He would LAUGH & LAUGH. It was so cute!
He seems to love Sadie more than Eddie. Sadie's smaller, never barks, never licks him...she was abused & then adopted my Memaw & Papa, so she's really really shy. But---Gage will go right up to her & try to pull her nose off. She moves around, but never snips, or barks, or anything. She's such a good dog!

Gage is working on more words...
"uh-oh" is relatively new.
"oof"...he loves making this noise, particularly in the morning when he first wakes up. Not really sure what it means, but it generally indicates that he's in a good mood.
"cah" ....that's his primitive version of "car". He'll point & look at the road when a car goes by.

He has also really mastered the task of walking. I am by no means saying that he's always stable on his feet all of the time...but it has become his preferred mode of travel. Well, that and Mom carrying him. I guess really--he prefers to be carried, but if not, he'd rather walk than crawl.

His latest trick: climbing.
I do not like this phase.
He can climb UP...but has yet to figure out getting DOWN.
He will push his toys to the edge of the couch, pile them up, and then climb up the toy-pile, until he can get up onto the couch. Now getting down---he just crawls right off the edge until he falls to the floor, and MomMom picks up a startled, crying, ball of baby, who can't figure out what just happened. Yes, I almost had a heart attack.
While on our little trip, he took the box that the pampers came in (we buy the big boxes of diapers...) and he turned it upside down. Then, he climbed on top of it, and was perched on all fours on top of this empty box that could collapse at just any minute.
Then---the cabin had low window sills. He tried soooo hard to climb onto the window sill that was only about 2 inches deep. He'd get one leg up, then he'd try to get the other one up...but he'd have to put the first one down to get the 2nd one up...he just couldnt figure out that he didnt fit up there. It was pretty amusing to watch....

I'm ready to go home & see my buddy!!!

Movie Reviews:
"Love Actually": actually, we didnt watch more than 20 minutes of it. It sucked.
"The Greatest Game Ever Played": we both really enjoyed this one. Good movie.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Vacation...

Okay, so you've missed me?
I was on a vacation.

My Dad, Allen (9yo), Gage, and I took a vacation to the Arbuckle Mountains in Oklahoma. We took the kiddos to Turner Falls & Arbuckle Wilderness....

I have a few pics to share at this point---but really, there are 3 disposable cameras waiting to be developed...So for now, I only have a few of the pictures...
And, none of them are from Arbuckle...lo siento.

Let me start by saying this: none of you people who are already parents TOLD ME that vacations with kids (young kids) is not a vacation at all. My pre-mom perception of vacation was made up of beaches, rest, relaxation, sipping Mimosas while flying first class to some exotic destination. This trip was not a vacation in that respect at all. This was work. Hard work. Juggling 2 naptimes for the 10 month old & adequate entertainment for a 9 year old. He's hungry. He's fussy. He's hot. He's bored. He's wet. He's peeing outside for all the world to see. He's got a tadpole in his hands. It was---go,go,go nonstop, do this, do that, try to get the baby to sleep, where's the can opener, it's hot in this cabin, is there any coffee made yet, did you take your medicine yet, the chocolate milk is frozen---FUN.

I'm EXHAUSTED. I need a non-mom vacation to recover from this family fun adventure.

So...here are a few pictures....

The car ride down there....oh, the Jeep-Jeep was LOADED to the max!

(Yes, that is the grilling spatula in his hand...he was a bit excited about cooking out.)


He doesnt look too excited, does he??


Our cabin. Very clean. Very small. No microwave. But, totally comfy when compared to camping in a tent!




Dad & Allen skateboarding...

Turner Falls!!!

We were the first ones there!!!



How sweet is this picture?? Allen looking for tadpoles...what a boy! I can't believe he's so grown up now....


Allen on the diving board. Such bravery!!!


Me, Gage, & Dad...outside of the cabin....


Me, Gage, & Allen...outside of the cabin.
Thank goodness for my sling! Love that thing!

Friday, August 11, 2006

Advice for my son....

Things I dont want to forget to tell him when he's OLDER...


Topic: Girls

* When you are with a girl, dont check out other girls. We notice stuff like that. Even when you are driving--we know if you are checking out a girl in a nearby car.
* When you are with a girl, treat her as if she is the most perfect, most beautiful, most captivating person on the planet. Give her your undivided attention.
* If another cute girl walks by, dont check her out. There will be plenty of time to check out other women when your date/girlfriend/fiance/wife is not right there with you.
* Verbally reinforce how attractive you think she is. This is tricky---you've got to mix it up with the words. If you constantly say, "you look nice", or "you look pretty", it will become routine for you to say, and over time the compliments, while well-intentioned, may not seem to hold as much value. Throw in words like, "beautiful", "sexy", "hot". Women want to feel sexy, and feel like they look sexy. (Do not use this advice until you're OLDER!)
* Continue to date her. Even when you're "old & married"...continue to take the time out of your schedule to take your wife on dates. And plan them yourself. Put effort into it. To a woman, when you do this, it makes her feel special, appreciated, loved, etc.
* Flaunt her. Treat her like a trophy that you want to show off to the world.
* When people say nice things about her when she is not present, make sure the messages get back to her....(I.E. if your coworkers say, "oh, your wife seems so sweet..."--tell her. It will make her feel good.)
* No matter what the circumstance, do NOT EVER use the phrase "suffer through it" in the same conversation about going on a date with your date/girlfriend/fiance/wife. Just take my word on this one---it will not go over well. Period. I dont care if she's trying to drag you to the ballet---dont you dare say that you'll just "suffer through it".
* Girls like surprises. Even when they say that they dont---they do. Random little gifts. Random acts of kindness...like washing her car for her. Or bringing home flowers for no reason, other than the fact that you wanted to see her smile when you walked through the door.
* The power of touch...well, touch is important. Sitting on the couch next to each other, holding hands, snuggling, hugging, kissing...all of those things need to continue throughout a relationship, not just in the beginning when things are new & exciting...
* In the bedroom--it's not all about you. Remember that.
* Be spontaneous. Initiate things...(inside & outside the bedroom...)
* With regard to a hairstyle change, or makeup change, or any type of physical appearance change, girls dont ever want to hear, "What did you do?" ...so unless you are talking about an injury...dont say, "what did you DO??"

Thursday, August 10, 2006

www.zgallerie.com

From z gallerie, I love the moss rocks....


:)

www.uncommongoods.com

OMG. I love this website. Love it.

Here's some stuff I love....
Jolene (my friend at work) is having TWINS! (I need to seek out any tips/pointers on her behalf from Jessica!)

So anyway...Jessica & Jolene need these onesies that read....


Baby Gage needs these....and MomMom might need a pair if they come in my size!


Seen the movie, "March of the Penguins"??? Oh...so good. Damon & I loved it. And of course, I just cried & cried at various parts. But, overall it was wonderful. Mom loved it too....


To record Baby Gage so far....MomMom might need this....

Yahoo.

Okay, I think my employer blocked yahoo, so if anyone emailed me there...then I havent checked it in a few days.
Ugh.

Last Night....

"Gage, you want to take a bath?"

"Okay."









"No, Bevo cannot bathe with you."





A good time was had by all.

:)

Haiku....

The word of the day is Haiku.


And here is one....

"Learning to Drive"
Yellow lines, white lines
It shouldn't be quite so hard
To stay in between

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

NRH2O....

So, at the very end of July, we took a trip to NRH2O.
We had a blast. Gage had a blast!
And, he lasted for 4 hours at the water park. Good job!

Sunscreen...apply....reapply....

:)

Pics from the trip....


This one's a little blurry...
But, it's me, Baby Gage, Tiff, and Trystan


Gage wants to hold Trystan's face....


Gage LOVED the wave pool!





(Um...honey, did you need a bear-skin rug to lounge on?)

And then it was time for snacks & the trip home...

Gage was asleep before we got out of the NRH2O parking lot!

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Forgiveness...

Today I am having a hard time with something...
Forgiveness.
Something(s) that happened a while ago, but today it's just fresh, like it just happened.
Something that I've said I was over, that I've pretended to be over, but it randomly just hits you and makes you feel so incredibly inadequate & not "enough".

I know that I'm really skirting the issue. That's deliberate.

Has anyone said something so hurtful to you that it seems to change who you are?
Nobody should have that kind of power over someone else...but when you love someone, and they say or do (or in this case, both) something that just seems to rock your foundation....it's like you cant help but be affected. And even your own reaction to the situation surprises you. Like you examine yourself and ask, "What happened to the person I used to be? Why am I tolerating this? Where is that strength that I thought I had...that I used to have?"

And then, when they apologize, or try to take it back...it's too late.
You can't "UNHEAR" what they said.
You can't "UNSEE" what you've seen.
You can't "UNKNOW" what you know to be the truth.

So today, that's where I am. Trying to forgive because it is the right thing to do. Trying to forgive because the actions/behaviors are no longer there. Trying to forgive, but thinking, "the only reason why the actions are not there is because of fear, not because there is a genuine lack of desire for said actions".
I'm trying to forgive because I am not perfect, and I would want to be forgiven when I've done something wrong.

I just hope that I've never said anything to someone that I love so deeply---that would rock their foundation, or make them question who they are...or who they've become.

My Christmas list...early.

Okay...so this year, at my birthday, when people asked me what I wanted...I didnt really know.

Well, I've been thinking... Come Christmas---I'm going to have a list handy.
Here it is so far:
*new vacuum
*stuff for my IPOD
*CD Skip Doctor


{our current vacuum is on it's last leg...I've had it only for 5 years, but it's going to die soon, I just know it. Plus--I am tired of jacking w/ the bags...so I want a bagless one...I think.}
{IPOD: all I have is the IPOD itself, and a car adapter/charger. All of the cords you need to add music...um, yeah, I dont have those. I want to get those!}
{I think the product is called the CD Skip Doctor...if they even make this product anymore...I heard about it years ago. It supposed to fill in scratches on your CD so that you dont have to replace various CDs. I think I'd like this...I'll give it a whirl!}

And...I got a Willow Tree figurine when I was pregnant. I'm not much on figurine collecting...or I wasnt. But these, I just love. So, I am adding these to my Christmas list:


"Angel of Mine"


"Tenderness"

Reunion Fueled Dreams...

So, over the weekend I went to my 10 year high school reunion.

Well, last night--I had a bizarro dream, that I KNOW was only because I attended the reunion & saw people that I hadnt seen in a long time.

Dream:

We were 28...but I was not married & did not have a child. Megan did not have Stephen. We were moving into an apartment/town home together to be room-mates.
We were getting things unpacked & organized in the apartment. I left & went somewhere...maybe work. When I came home, Megan started yelling at me (which, I've only seen in this dream...I have never in real life seen her YELL at anyone!)...so anyway...she's yelling at me because I have FOUR saved messages on the phone, and I never listen to them, and I never erase them. She went off asking, "What's the point of having an answering machine if you're not going to use it!!???"
So then---Scott Struwe comes over to visit, and he's a school bus driver. Yes, that was his job. And, he was boasting that one of the perks of being a bus driver is that he gets to take the bus whenever he wants...so, we looked outside....Yes, he in fact drove the big yellow school bus to our town home & parked it right out front.

So then---I listen to my messages. And---I had a phone message from Ryan Englebretson. He was mad b/c I didnt say "hi" to him at the reunion. [in real life, i did see him at the reunion--but he was on the other side of the room, and quite honestly---i just never made it over there to that half of the room] So on this message, he just goes on & on about how upset he was. Megan, Scott, and I just sat there listening to him ramble & we were all shocked.

After that I got a message from my Gammy, and then I woke up.


But--it was weird.

The 10 year high school reunion...
Standard conversation...
"Oh my gosh ___insert name______! I havent seen you in so long!"
"What are you doing now?"
"Married?"
"Kids?"
"What does your husband/wife do?"
"How did you guys meet?"
"Where are you living now?"
And of course, there was the scoping out of the wedding rings...
And of course there was the "oh my gosh, can you believe how much weight he/she has put on?"

Picture this: high school, only....99% of the people weigh more now.

High School is over. You cant go back. Keep your memories, and move on.

Monday, August 07, 2006

My Men...

Daddy & Gage....
8/6/6



Love 'em, Love 'em, Love 'em!

GrandDaddy popped in for a quick visit...

On Sunday morning....

Gage was so excited! A little shy at first, but he warmed up PRETTY quickly!

This is Gage...looking at pictures...of himself!





..and now, Gage can point!

Victoria's Shower!

My cousin Shane & his girlfriend, Victoria, are having a boy.
His name will be Aiden...

We went to Victoria's Shower over the weekend at my aunt's house, and we all had a great time...until Gage missed his afternoon nap....

Pictures from the shower:


The cake...


Mema & Andi Nicole


Memma & Gage


Gage...being the center of attention...for a while...


Victoria opening gifts...it was her first shower & she got soooooo much stuff!


Gage took a bite of a chicken salad sandwich...how cute is his little bite mark???

Okay...that was this past Saturday. We had a great time, and we got to see so many family members, so that was good.

:)

Friday, August 04, 2006

A Tour...

Yes, he is walking ALL OVER THE PLACE now.

Here...he'll take you on a tour....

"Here we are, leaving the living room, and entering the dining room."


"Are you coming?"


"This is the hallway. I'd like to show you the bathroom, but the door is shut."


"We'll just continue down the hall into the den."


"This is the den..."


"Oh, let's go see what's going on outside."


"This is the back door. I like to look out this door."


"Oh here...let's go into the kitchen."


"That's all for now!"

Thursday, August 03, 2006

"First-time-Mom-Itis"

That's one of the official diagnoses from today's pedi visit.

He's so embarrassed---he doesn't even want to be seen with me!

Diagnosis...
The other one: teething.

Well...his ears look great. Thank goodness!
Turns out--he's getting 3 teeth. 2 that are just under the gums & have not broken through yet, and one that just the tip has broken through...not to mention tooth #5 that is only 1/2 way in.

So, he's just fussy from teething. That explains the not wanting to suck on a bottle, slight cough, runny nose, constant clinging, etc.

Teeth.
We just Couldn't WAIT for them to get here...And yet the process is making us all miserable!

When the doctor *(not the regular pediatrician b/c he's at his vacation home in New Mexico)* listened to his heart, she said, "Your heart sounds so happy! It said, 'I love Mommy!'" I thought it was really cute of her...
...doesnt take much to impress me.

Oh, and Gage has lost weight. He went from 23.4 pounds to 22 pounds, 13 ounces.
Not too much...just a little...

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

An Ear Infection, Maybe???



So, Gage was fussy all day yesterday at Memaw's house.
When Damon walked through the door with him---the first thing I noticed was him pulling & rubbing at his little ear.
Now, he pulls on one ear when he's tired. But that's his left ear. He doesnt really pull on it---he plays with it & rubs it. But that's when he's tired.

This was his right ear. He's tugging & flipping & folding it, and then making a little fist with his hand & rubbing it. So...I think we may have the start of our first ear infection.

And---he was fussing in the evening. And, he was not wanting to eat or drink much of anything. Does it hurt when he swallows???

So tomorrow morning--we're off to the Pediatrician!
Our regular doc is off tomorrow, so we'll see somebody else. One of the partners. I dunno who she is. Dr. H-something-or-another.

Wish us well.

Fives....

Five items in my freezer:
1. coffee
2. popsicles
3. ice
4. hamburger meat
5. waffles

Five items in the closet:
1. purses
2. belts
3. shoes
4. PeeWee Herman doll
5. clothes

Five items in the car:
1. carseat
2. CD cases
3. Ipod
4. the dress I wore to a wedding back in June
5. Hot bottle of water (it's like a hundred degrees here!)

Five items in my purse:
1. 4 checkbooks
2. Napolean Dynomite vanilla chapstick
3. stamps
4. Digital camera
5. driver #2 keys to hubby's truck.

Unsolicited Advice for the Expectant Mother...

(I typed this up for someone that I know is pregnant...)

Here’s my UNSOLICITED Advice. I’m sure, as you know by now…being pregnant---you are going to get a LOT of unsolicited advice…so if you want to quit reading right now…I totally understand!

I am by NO MEANS trying to tell you what to do, or how to do it! I am no expert on baby products, baby needs, or child rearing! It’s just that I’ve recently been where you are , and where you’re about to be (a new mom!) ….

So….here goes…..

• When you see that baby for the very first time---it’s okay to be scared! All of a sudden there is this new life in your arms, and you know you love that baby, but it’s all so new, and it’s an amazing responsibility. So, if you look at that baby, & think “Oh My Gosh, this is my baby who I know, and yet he’s a stranger to me…”, you’re not alone!
• There will be times when you say or think, “I have no idea what I’m doing.” …or, “I have no idea what he needs right now!” Every first time mom has been there. I have sssssooooooooooo been there. You will have a few “first time mommy” moments….I’ve been there…I’m sure your mom was there… Some things you learn from others---but a whole heck of a lot of things are learned on your own---just from going through it!
• I was the world’s slowest at figuring out my child’s different cries. All of these experts say your baby may cry one way when he’s hungry, and another way if he’s wet, or hot, or too tired, or overstimulated, etc. Me---I couldn’t figure that stuff out! All I knew was that my baby was crying! I’d run down the mental checklist: Is he wet/dirty? Is it too hot or too cold in here? Is he hungry? If all of those things were okay---then he’d get a dose of Mylicon, a cuddle, and his binky.
• Mylicon: liquid gas medicine for babies. Make sure you get some of this. The baby can’t tell you if he’s gassy or not---so I was on the mentality of, “Better to be safe than sorry!”, and I’d give him a dose!
• Binky/Paci/Pacifier…..there are a ton of options out there. Gage didn’t, and still doesn’t take the binky too often. But, at first, he was a big fan of the green Soothie brand binky that they provided at the hospital. It was the only one he would take. So, we had to stock up on those. For months he didn’t take the binky anymore, but now that he’s teething—he loves the binky again. Gives him something to chew on.
• Breastfeeding…saw that you’ve got a Medela pump on your registry. You go girl! I tried to get by with a small, portable, electric pump made by a company called “The First Years”. It was about $40. That was $40 that I can’t get back. Such a waste of money. Medela products are so awesome. Here’s my tip on the Medela pump: if the hospital you deliver at uses Medela pumps---before you leave the hospital, tell the nurse that you want to try pumping to help your milk come in (which, it will). That way---the nurse will bring you one of their Medela pumps with a kit of Medela hook-ups. These hook-ups can’t be reissued to another patient, so you get to take them with you, and that way your insurance covers them! The kit costs about $60 if you buy the pieces at the store….and---the kit includes a bunch of parts that will fit all the different Medela pumps. Originally, at the hospital, they let me use the Medela Symphony. I really liked it. So, since my milk didn’t come in for SEVEN days---I rented a Symphony to go home with me. That way—we didn’t spend $300 on a pump that I may or may not be able to use (in case my milk never came in, or we had feeding issues….). Anyway—when I returned to work, I had a Medela Lactina pump here at work to use (I work in a hospital), and b/c I got the kit when I delivered, I had all of the hook-ups. Then, when I got a Pump-in-Style, I already had all of the hook-ups. So, I say, YES—Go with Medela!!!!
• Breastpads…..I nursed for almost 6 months. Went through quite a few breastpads. Here are my opinions on the pads…. The best ones: Lansinoh. They are contoured---which will make a difference under your clothes! They are individually wrapped, so that makes sticking them in your purse or diaper bag easier.
• Breastmilk storage bags: Tried a few of these as well…My reviews: Top pick—Lansinoh bags. They have a double seal which is awesome. The most embarrassing thing that happened to me---I stored a bag of breast milk in the break room fridge here at work—and it spilled & leaked onto other people’s lunches. I could have just DIED. That was with a bag made by “The First Years”. It sported a “handle for pouring.” Um…it sucked. Don’t even bother with the bags they make. They leak. They are crap. 2nd favorite bag---Gerber bags. They never leaked! No double seal, but they never leaked.
• Breastmilk…like I said—mine didn’t come in for 7 days after delivery. So, we had to supplement with formula…which initially broke my heart. (I’m glad to report that I’ve fully recovered from that….) Anyway—I read that if you have a c-section (which I hope you don’t have to have!), it takes longer for your milk to come in. So---in the event that you are having difficulty with your milk coming in…here’s what they had me do: nurse for 15 minutes on each side, then give the baby to husband or mom (whoever was closest…), they would formula feed Gage, while I pumped for 15 minutes on each side. And---just so you know---when your milk comes in full-swing, you can STOP doing this routine. Um…nobody told me that part. So, for the 1st 2 weeks, I was feeding him & then pumping on both sides. Oh girl—I had enough milk to cure world hunger, and I was getting NO SLEEP b/c I was always nursing or pumping!
• If the hospital has a lactation consultant/nurse—I suggest meeting with her. I met with the one at our hospital, and I learned more in 15 minutes with her than I did from reading anything. She taught me different positions in which to nurse, the proper latch & detachment…all things that will make breastfeeding comfortable & enjoyable for you.
• And…with regard to breastfeeding……if you’re scared—that’s okay too. I was scared at first. They hand you this new little baby…who’s about 30 minutes old, and say, “he’s probably hungry. Are you going to nurse him?” …and you think, “Oh Lord…I don’t have any idea what I’m doing!” It’s okay! It’s normal! Just tell them, and they will help you with everything. The nurses can be so great!
• Diapers…..in the beginning we used Pampers Swaddlers b/c that’s what the hospital used. Breastfed babies poo more, and it’s a lot more…liquidy (if that’s a word….) So you will go through a lot of diapers in the beginning! We went through 10-12 a day in the first few weeks. What I’ve learned: diapers that may be great on my child may not be great on yours. Apparently they all fit differently, and babies move differently….etc. Over time—the regular Huggies & Huggies Supremes worked best for us. When Gage was around 3 months old, we discovered that we could get away with Target brand or Tom Thumb store brand diapers for the day-time, but they weren’t nearly as absorbent for the nights.
• Formula. In the event that you don’t breastfeed or supplement with formula, here’s what I’ve learned….we tried Enfamil Lipil, which was fine. But then we tried Similac Advance, which apparently has a sweeter taste. So, Gage liked it more. Then we learned from the Pediatrician that Sam’s Club sells 3 lb. Cans of “Member’s Mark” or “Maker’s Mark”…formula, that is the EXACT same as Similac Advance (the Similac with the DHA & ARA). So, that’s now where we buy the formula.
• Formula: if you do go with formula, go to the website of whichever brand you are going to use---and register as a new mom. They will send you coupons for $5/off each can. We used to get them every month for the Enfamil…which we weren’t using…. But we used the Similac coupons. Hey—it’s $5!
• Two Kiddopotamus products that I loved: Infant Swaddler & Sleep-Sack. Gage loved to be swaddled when he was brand new. I called it, “the baby-burrito”. All of the nurses were so good at it. So was my husband! But me---I couldn’t ever get him swaddled quite right. But, the baby swaddler is like a blanket, ours was made of fleece, and we would wrap Gage in it, and Velcro the little spots where you Velcro---and it would keep him bundled up nicely, which really helped him sleep for longer periods of time. The sleep-sack—I was always so afraid that Gage would get cold during the night (this was when he was about 2-3 months or so…), but they said not to put him to sleep with a blanket. And at that time—it was winter! So, we got these fleece sleep sacks which we put over his long sleeved onesie, and zipped it up around his feet. He stayed warm all night—and it was so easy for middle of the night diaper changes!
• Speaking of easy….Those outfits…some people call them rompers, some people call them creepers…anyway—I’m talking about the outfits that look like feety-pajamas. Some of them snap shut, and some of them zip shut. I was the biggest fan of the zip shut outfits that my mom got for Gage. They were soooooo easy. Gage was not a big fan of the diaper change, so being quick was key. The zipper was so much easier with a crying, squirming baby than the snaps ever were.
• Wipes warmer…I think this is a waste of $$. But, Kelly, a coworker of mine, loves hers, said she couldn’t live without it. So—it’s got mixed reviews.
• Diaper cream: as I mentioned earlier…breastfed babies poo a lot more, and it’s very runny. Gage got a really bad diaper rash at one point because of this. The pediatrician suggested “Dr.Smith’s Diaper Cream”. It smells like….well, it smells really bad. And, it’s expensive—more expensive than your average diaper cream. But, it works. We only used it for 2 days, and it cleared Gage’s rash up. Now, we only use it when he starts to get a rash. It’s not something we use at every diaper change…only when we have to.
• Huggies…or some brand makes this product called “Liquid Powder”. Damon loved it. I hated it. There’s another mixed review for you!
• Baby Food (because your little one will move on to solid food some day!): Heinz is generally cheaper than Gerber. Just a little FYI.
• There is a product called “Little Noses”. It’s saline spray for their noses, so you can moisten any dried boogies to suction them out. Ummm…guess how I heard about this product…the nurse on call from the pediatrician’s office told me about it b/c I called because my baby’s nose was stuffy & the boogies were dry & I couldn’t get them out. (Yes, one of my FINER new mommy moments….)
• Humidifier: one of those things we didn’t have, didn’t register for, didn’t know we’d need.
• Ear Thermometer: one of those things we thought we needed, but we never used (so far) because the pediatrician wants a rectal temperature when you call to discuss your child’s fever.
• Things we could never have too much of: bottles, nipples, wipes, burp cloths, white diaper shirts, baby pants, baby socks, diapers, baby lotion!
• Baby Monitor: here’s a tip for you…..just remember when you plug that thing in, and you’ve got house guests….just watch what you say. You, at some point, will forget that it’s there & on & transmitting your conversation into another (possibly occupied) room.
• Know this: Babies are slippery when wet.
• And…at some point your child will probably lick a floor & eat dog food. It will be okay.
• The boppy: wouldn’t have traded it for all the other pillows in the world!
• The amazing thirst that overcomes your body when you nurse---it’s normal. If at all possible, be prepared with a big ol’ glass of water before sitting down to nurse.

...that's about all I can think of for now...

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Just a swingin'.......

So, last Friday evening, we put Gage's swing up on the front porch so he could swing for a while....

He was sooooo cute. He loves swinging!
And, he fell asleep!





Right before I took this next picture...he woke up briefly...picked his head up...looked around...and closed his eyes again.

About 2 seconds after I took this picture, his little head went forward again...he was soooooooo sleepy!

Gotta love the swing!